Thanks for the props Dan.
I'm going to take this off at least temporarly for a few random reasons. It may be reposted...or at least I will discuss what I was getting at more directly.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Monday, May 30, 2005
How Do You Make God Laugh?
I've reached a point where I just don't know what to do with myself, or what to think about anything in the near or remote future. I need help sorting things out...it seems impossible.
I'm anxiously anticipating going to Los Angeles in two weeks...but there is so much that has to be done before I leave. It's overwhelming. I don't seem like my usual relativley strong, sure and confident self...that's because I'm not.
See you soon,
- Jordan
I'm anxiously anticipating going to Los Angeles in two weeks...but there is so much that has to be done before I leave. It's overwhelming. I don't seem like my usual relativley strong, sure and confident self...that's because I'm not.
See you soon,
- Jordan
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Your Tax Dollars at Work
On Tuesday I had the day off so I called up my friend Sean and he and my roommate Mike, and myself went downtown to just check stuff out. We parked, looked at the really amazing new City Hall...and then walked semi-aimlessly though downtown to the State Capitol. Of course, it's an attractive building, so we walked inside.
We met a couple of lobbysts in the elevator...there were lobbyists, people in suits on cellphones each with a representing a private interest, everywhere. After taking the elevator up to the fourth floor of the rotunda we ran into another lobbyist who asked us if we wanted to see a bunch of lobbyists waiting like wolves outside the door of the legislature, of course we obliged and he led us there and there they were. Then the fact struck me that we could actually go in and watch our Government in action...so we did. It was the last day of the session so things were pretty animated. Patrick Rose (D-Dripping Springs), who represents Texas State University (and does so very well, I would have voted for him if I lived in his district) was trying to push an admendment that would help students...however he withdrew it, apparently to iron some things out. The rest of what we saw was somewhat comical. One representative proposed an amendment to give college credit for a certian pre-College program that is used in several states and has the support of the Bush Adminstration. He was immediately assailed by a seemingly very conservative rep, who probably would have wrapped himself in an American flag if it fit the dress code, who attacked the program as being, basically, a socialist United Nations brainwashing tool of Satan. Ah the "L" card. His argument was soundly and forcefully dismissed allthough I didn't get to stick around to see what became of the program.
As we left another Rep proposed an amendment that would have the state reemburse the college tuition for any Freshman who earns a 3.0 in their first academic year.
Right...
I'm going to go buy a fleet of Lear Jets.
- Jordan
We met a couple of lobbysts in the elevator...there were lobbyists, people in suits on cellphones each with a representing a private interest, everywhere. After taking the elevator up to the fourth floor of the rotunda we ran into another lobbyist who asked us if we wanted to see a bunch of lobbyists waiting like wolves outside the door of the legislature, of course we obliged and he led us there and there they were. Then the fact struck me that we could actually go in and watch our Government in action...so we did. It was the last day of the session so things were pretty animated. Patrick Rose (D-Dripping Springs), who represents Texas State University (and does so very well, I would have voted for him if I lived in his district) was trying to push an admendment that would help students...however he withdrew it, apparently to iron some things out. The rest of what we saw was somewhat comical. One representative proposed an amendment to give college credit for a certian pre-College program that is used in several states and has the support of the Bush Adminstration. He was immediately assailed by a seemingly very conservative rep, who probably would have wrapped himself in an American flag if it fit the dress code, who attacked the program as being, basically, a socialist United Nations brainwashing tool of Satan. Ah the "L" card. His argument was soundly and forcefully dismissed allthough I didn't get to stick around to see what became of the program.
As we left another Rep proposed an amendment that would have the state reemburse the college tuition for any Freshman who earns a 3.0 in their first academic year.
Right...
I'm going to go buy a fleet of Lear Jets.
- Jordan
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
"She's My Rushmore, Max"
Yesterday I watched the movie "Rushmore"...one of four films by my favorite filmmaker Wes Anderson. On the surface the film is a somewhat nonchalant comedy about a tenth grader named Max (played by Jason Schwartsman) who is both an overachevier and underachiever. Max is the head or founder of several clubs and a successful playwright at an elite and expensive prep school known as "Rushmore", a school where, even though he is the son of a barber, he attends because of a scholarship. He's smart, articulate, and definitely is a nerd, at least in appearance. However, he is also one of Rushmore's "worst students"...he spends so much time being active in the many activities that he enjoys that he doesn't take the time to study and consistently fails his classes (to the point of being threatened with expulsion). Max is later befriended by the father of two Rushmore students, (who happen to be a very disapointing and unlikible set of twins) Herman Blume (a self-made but melancholy millionare played by Bill Murray). Max proceeds to develop a crush on Mrs. Cross...a first grade teacher at Rushmore, a complicated enough situation before Blume begins to pursure her as well (setting up the main point of conflict for the first half of the film).
This post is not so much about the film however, as it is an examination of a crucial thought that enters the forefront of the picture. It's importiant to note that for Max, Rushmore was his life. His desire and goal was to spend the rest of his life as a student there...enjoying everything that the school offered (except of course, the strictly academic). At the mid point of the film, the definition of what "rushmore" is seems to take a dramatic turn in a broader and somewhat philosophical direction. Max and Herman are at the climax of their conflict over Mrs. Cross (whom Max finally begins to flirt with the acceptance of the reality of his slim chances of ever hooking up with) Murray's character mutters the defining line of the film: "She's My Rushmore Max"...to which Max (who at this point had been finally expelled from Rushmore for academic failure) promptly turns and replies (while walking away)..."She's mine too".
And just like that, through a very simple exchange...a rather profound, yet commonly experenced concept is introduced into the film, creating a conceptual tremor that alters the scope and meaning behind the story. "Rushmore" is more than a school to both Max and Herman...it represents a common affliction experenced thoughout mankind. A search for meaning, a defining experence, happiness, salvation, or desired identity that requires the attainment of a certian thing, or certian status. In my own life this exchange highlights many things that I have avidly pursued, thinking that finally I will have a true identity, a true level or satisfaction. Many others that I have known, in fact everyone I have known, has experenced the pursuit of a "rushmore"...which is always done though a dead end route (such as in wealth, power, a certian job, a certian title, a relashonship with the opposite sex...among other things).
Today I realized that the name Rushmore, coincidentally or not, is intended to invoke the image of this very concept. The name Rushmore in the minds of most Americans represents power, wealth, status, and the status of psuedo-divinity that has been given to the four faces that are carved out of a mountian in South Dakota. I don't think that the title of the film, the school, and the word's appearance in the film's defining line, is merely a random occurence. Anderson is chipping away at something that defines us in our imperfect humanity. We all have our rushmores, for better or for worse...I think, for worse, because the pursuit of these things never, as least as far as I can tell from my experences, and the experences of people I know, lead to true satisfaction. The film ends in a lighthearted way, but it ends with many of the characters seeming deeply disastisfied...in one way the protagonist has won out over the antagonist...but the underlying antagonist of the film...the rushmore concept...still has the upper hand.
This is something that I am thinking about a great deal right now. I hope to write more on it soon.
- Jordan
This post is not so much about the film however, as it is an examination of a crucial thought that enters the forefront of the picture. It's importiant to note that for Max, Rushmore was his life. His desire and goal was to spend the rest of his life as a student there...enjoying everything that the school offered (except of course, the strictly academic). At the mid point of the film, the definition of what "rushmore" is seems to take a dramatic turn in a broader and somewhat philosophical direction. Max and Herman are at the climax of their conflict over Mrs. Cross (whom Max finally begins to flirt with the acceptance of the reality of his slim chances of ever hooking up with) Murray's character mutters the defining line of the film: "She's My Rushmore Max"...to which Max (who at this point had been finally expelled from Rushmore for academic failure) promptly turns and replies (while walking away)..."She's mine too".
And just like that, through a very simple exchange...a rather profound, yet commonly experenced concept is introduced into the film, creating a conceptual tremor that alters the scope and meaning behind the story. "Rushmore" is more than a school to both Max and Herman...it represents a common affliction experenced thoughout mankind. A search for meaning, a defining experence, happiness, salvation, or desired identity that requires the attainment of a certian thing, or certian status. In my own life this exchange highlights many things that I have avidly pursued, thinking that finally I will have a true identity, a true level or satisfaction. Many others that I have known, in fact everyone I have known, has experenced the pursuit of a "rushmore"...which is always done though a dead end route (such as in wealth, power, a certian job, a certian title, a relashonship with the opposite sex...among other things).
Today I realized that the name Rushmore, coincidentally or not, is intended to invoke the image of this very concept. The name Rushmore in the minds of most Americans represents power, wealth, status, and the status of psuedo-divinity that has been given to the four faces that are carved out of a mountian in South Dakota. I don't think that the title of the film, the school, and the word's appearance in the film's defining line, is merely a random occurence. Anderson is chipping away at something that defines us in our imperfect humanity. We all have our rushmores, for better or for worse...I think, for worse, because the pursuit of these things never, as least as far as I can tell from my experences, and the experences of people I know, lead to true satisfaction. The film ends in a lighthearted way, but it ends with many of the characters seeming deeply disastisfied...in one way the protagonist has won out over the antagonist...but the underlying antagonist of the film...the rushmore concept...still has the upper hand.
This is something that I am thinking about a great deal right now. I hope to write more on it soon.
- Jordan
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Blogs are Overrated
It's true, blogs are overrated. That doesn't keep me from writing in mine, however "blog" is such a trendy media buzzword now that I'm thinking of just calling mine a "journal", or a "sphere of textualization invloving mental cognitations and permutations of scattered thought". On second thought, I'll just stick with journal.
The media worships those involved in the "blogosphere"...because they have a voice and can add to the collective fray of daily hot air concerning politics, social issues, or why they are pissed off at how so many people are obsessed with Paris Hilton. ABC News went so far as to declare "bloggers" as their person(s)/people of the Year. In light of that, I'm going to recreate what I notice the average blogger, a ninth grade student, does to contribute to the national discussion:
...
-----
Wed. May 04
Man school rocked today. I skipped class twice and went out with some friends to Taco C and got sum chips and kayso. i hate school it's boring and the teachers are all ghey. i think i'm going to skipp all of my classess until a graduate.
---
fri. May 06
I HATE MY PARENTS I WISH THEY WOULD DIE!!!!11 I JUST WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH MY FRIENDS AND HAVE SOME BEER AND THEY WONT LET ME GO OUT BEAUSE IM GROUNDED!!! I CANT WAIT TO GET OUT OF HERE AND BE IN COLLEGE AND I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT!!!1
---
Sun. May 08
Sometimes broken hearts are the most painful broken things of all.
i miss you kelli
---
Mon. May 09
There's something about the sun that reminds me of being happy
---
Mon May 09
i realli like this song by the USED.
You almost always pick the best times
To drop the worst lines
You almost made me cry again this time
Another false alarm
Red flashing lights
Well this time I'm not going to watch myself die
I think I made it a game to play your game
And let myself cry
I buried myself alive on the inside
So I could shut you out
And let you go away for a long time
(Chorus)
I guess it's okay I puked the day away
I guess it's better you trapped yourself in your own way
And if you want me back
You're gonna have to ask
I think the chain broke away
And I felt it the day that I had my own time.
I took advantage of myself and felt fine
But it was worth the night
I caught an early flight and I made it home
(Repeat Chorus)
Nicer than that (2x)
With my foot on your neck
I finally have you
Right where I want you (4x)
(repeat chorus)
Nicer than that
I guess it's okay I puked the day away. (Nicer than that)
I guess it's better you trapped yourself in your own way.(Nicer then that)
And if you want me back,
You're gonna have to ask
Nicer than that
Nicer!
Nicer!
man songs so good. exactly how i feel right now
---
Thurs. May 12
i got a job 2day at teh pretzel store in the mall. i like pretzels and i hop e i get to Eat a lot of them when i work. Well, i'm out...later.
---
Sun. May 15
I HATE PRETZELS
...Sorry to subject you to that, but that is, as far as I can tell, a close (yet fictional) example of the typical blog entry.
The media worships those involved in the "blogosphere"...because they have a voice and can add to the collective fray of daily hot air concerning politics, social issues, or why they are pissed off at how so many people are obsessed with Paris Hilton. ABC News went so far as to declare "bloggers" as their person(s)/people of the Year. In light of that, I'm going to recreate what I notice the average blogger, a ninth grade student, does to contribute to the national discussion:
...
-----
Wed. May 04
Man school rocked today. I skipped class twice and went out with some friends to Taco C and got sum chips and kayso. i hate school it's boring and the teachers are all ghey. i think i'm going to skipp all of my classess until a graduate.
---
fri. May 06
I HATE MY PARENTS I WISH THEY WOULD DIE!!!!11 I JUST WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH MY FRIENDS AND HAVE SOME BEER AND THEY WONT LET ME GO OUT BEAUSE IM GROUNDED!!! I CANT WAIT TO GET OUT OF HERE AND BE IN COLLEGE AND I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT!!!1
---
Sun. May 08
Sometimes broken hearts are the most painful broken things of all.
i miss you kelli
---
Mon. May 09
There's something about the sun that reminds me of being happy
---
Mon May 09
i realli like this song by the USED.
You almost always pick the best times
To drop the worst lines
You almost made me cry again this time
Another false alarm
Red flashing lights
Well this time I'm not going to watch myself die
I think I made it a game to play your game
And let myself cry
I buried myself alive on the inside
So I could shut you out
And let you go away for a long time
(Chorus)
I guess it's okay I puked the day away
I guess it's better you trapped yourself in your own way
And if you want me back
You're gonna have to ask
I think the chain broke away
And I felt it the day that I had my own time.
I took advantage of myself and felt fine
But it was worth the night
I caught an early flight and I made it home
(Repeat Chorus)
Nicer than that (2x)
With my foot on your neck
I finally have you
Right where I want you (4x)
(repeat chorus)
Nicer than that
I guess it's okay I puked the day away. (Nicer than that)
I guess it's better you trapped yourself in your own way.(Nicer then that)
And if you want me back,
You're gonna have to ask
Nicer than that
Nicer!
Nicer!
man songs so good. exactly how i feel right now
---
Thurs. May 12
i got a job 2day at teh pretzel store in the mall. i like pretzels and i hop e i get to Eat a lot of them when i work. Well, i'm out...later.
---
Sun. May 15
I HATE PRETZELS
...Sorry to subject you to that, but that is, as far as I can tell, a close (yet fictional) example of the typical blog entry.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
In Short: Why I'm Not Moving Back to San Marcos. A Reply to the Daily Rice.
Moving to San Marcos means (most likely) paying more for rent and either driving 35 minutes to my current job (Which is a drag when I have to do it right after school) or getting a job in San Marcos where I'm all but guarenteed to make less...while having to pay rent in the most overpriced market in Central Texas (housing cost studies have shown this).
Then in the Spring, I will be getting an internship...and the last time I checked all of the media outlets in this area are in Austin. That will mean 2 out of 3 things.
I would personally much rather live WHERE I CAN work. I say this because San Marcos also has basically the worst job market of any city in Central Texas over 25,000 (the Austin American Stateman ran a full page story about this last year, you don't get the dirt on that town unless you read the Austin paper). Living in Austin made it much easier to get a job and when I have to go to work on the weekend (like today), I have to drive 15 minutes, instead of 35. Trying to get a job in San Marcos was excruciating, and frustrating, and any job I would have gotten would have been less likely to pay the bills.
It's essentially a choice between the occasional birthday party, and financial responsibility. Plus, if I'm working my hangout time is pretty limited already. If I'm working out of town that means work actually takes away more from the time when I can hang out. You guys wouldn't see me as much anyway because the cru system isin't tailored to people who have to work in the service industry...but that's okay life isin't fair and it can't be in this case.
But yea to close moving to San Marcos would be a bad decision for me to make for a number of reasons. Number one, likelyhood of being overly stressed trying to drive home from work at 2 AM on a school night....number two, much higher likelyhood of going broke. I've survived school so far with minimal debt (aside from student loans) and I want to keep it that way.
New longest comment award eh? Feel free to ask me about this anytime because I gather that most people don't understand my situation becuase there's is very different, and, in general, much more comfortable and I would even venture to say...easy. Within CRU at least...a lot of upperclassmen students in my program are in my situation...but they aren't in CRU. CRU is made of of a majority of people a nice safe little parentally supported bubble where college students can still be kids. I don't begrudge that at all but it's frustating sometimes when people assume that things are as easy for me.
To sum up the San Marcos situation. Outside of school and good friends, San Marcos has little to offer me. A vast majority of Texas State Broadcast Journalisim seniors live in Austin. I'm not an anomaly...I just am within CRU.
It is good to know that my presence is missed when I'm not around. That means alot. Like I've said though I feel I need to make more of an effort to structure my work schedule so I can go...but of course that requires knowing about things more than two weeks in advance...but I'm good at planning ahead so we'll see.
p.s. my birthday is January 7, and Mike's is January 10...I smell a big party for that one.*wink*
- Jordan
My response was made to this comment by the astute Mr. Rice:
----
Jordan,
Boy oh boy. You have won the award for longest comment. Then, after winning the award, you proceeded to outdo yourself and re-win the award. That was awesome...
On a serious note... It seems like a hard position. I've been really lucky to not have to work this semester, a trend that is soon to end. Also, the whole Austin thing compounds the problem. I guess it ultimately comes down to the choice of driving to work or school... I'd choose drive to work, because friends are better than work anyday. Of course, it's probably not as simple as that. But is there any possibility you could move to Marcos?
I'm sure if you wanted to it would work out... things have a way of doing that you know.
And we do miss you at the surprise parties!
Then in the Spring, I will be getting an internship...and the last time I checked all of the media outlets in this area are in Austin. That will mean 2 out of 3 things.
I would personally much rather live WHERE I CAN work. I say this because San Marcos also has basically the worst job market of any city in Central Texas over 25,000 (the Austin American Stateman ran a full page story about this last year, you don't get the dirt on that town unless you read the Austin paper). Living in Austin made it much easier to get a job and when I have to go to work on the weekend (like today), I have to drive 15 minutes, instead of 35. Trying to get a job in San Marcos was excruciating, and frustrating, and any job I would have gotten would have been less likely to pay the bills.
It's essentially a choice between the occasional birthday party, and financial responsibility. Plus, if I'm working my hangout time is pretty limited already. If I'm working out of town that means work actually takes away more from the time when I can hang out. You guys wouldn't see me as much anyway because the cru system isin't tailored to people who have to work in the service industry...but that's okay life isin't fair and it can't be in this case.
But yea to close moving to San Marcos would be a bad decision for me to make for a number of reasons. Number one, likelyhood of being overly stressed trying to drive home from work at 2 AM on a school night....number two, much higher likelyhood of going broke. I've survived school so far with minimal debt (aside from student loans) and I want to keep it that way.
New longest comment award eh? Feel free to ask me about this anytime because I gather that most people don't understand my situation becuase there's is very different, and, in general, much more comfortable and I would even venture to say...easy. Within CRU at least...a lot of upperclassmen students in my program are in my situation...but they aren't in CRU. CRU is made of of a majority of people a nice safe little parentally supported bubble where college students can still be kids. I don't begrudge that at all but it's frustating sometimes when people assume that things are as easy for me.
To sum up the San Marcos situation. Outside of school and good friends, San Marcos has little to offer me. A vast majority of Texas State Broadcast Journalisim seniors live in Austin. I'm not an anomaly...I just am within CRU.
It is good to know that my presence is missed when I'm not around. That means alot. Like I've said though I feel I need to make more of an effort to structure my work schedule so I can go...but of course that requires knowing about things more than two weeks in advance...but I'm good at planning ahead so we'll see.
p.s. my birthday is January 7, and Mike's is January 10...I smell a big party for that one.*wink*
- Jordan
My response was made to this comment by the astute Mr. Rice:
----
Jordan,
Boy oh boy. You have won the award for longest comment. Then, after winning the award, you proceeded to outdo yourself and re-win the award. That was awesome...
On a serious note... It seems like a hard position. I've been really lucky to not have to work this semester, a trend that is soon to end. Also, the whole Austin thing compounds the problem. I guess it ultimately comes down to the choice of driving to work or school... I'd choose drive to work, because friends are better than work anyday. Of course, it's probably not as simple as that. But is there any possibility you could move to Marcos?
I'm sure if you wanted to it would work out... things have a way of doing that you know.
And we do miss you at the surprise parties!
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