They're In My Hair! They're in My Hair!

So hello...Rand, and others who have asked me why I don't write on this anymore. The answer is there is no good answer nor is there a good reason for it. I've written a few things elsewhere but for the most part I've been lazy about writing anything non-academically related...or...if you will, important. But now that one of the most ridiculously insanely interesting and crazy months of my life has ended I find myself with some free time and I'm sitting in a coffee shop in Pasadena, California and I've decided to write something.

This last month has taught me a lot of things. Texas can actually matter more than just being a political ATM for candidates. Bill Clinton is shorter than I thought. Barack Obama and Sewell Park are a good match. German people are cool and have different personalities that are unique and interesting. The Mexican border is not all that bad really. Cops tend to get nervous when you take a side road that doesn't go past a border patrol checkpoint and may pull you over (not me, but my friend). Ranch Road 337 is an amazing drive but it's way out there so plan it as a day trip. Old people are scared of change...well, some old people...well come on a lot of them voted for Hillary. The Austin-San Marcos-Central Texas area is surprisingly progressive and is cool with Barack Obama.

I'm leaving the election out of it for now. For one, our part is over in Texas. But I can't escape it out here when people find out I'm from Austin they ask me about it. My friend and I were sitting at a bar here in Pasadena and we had extra seats at our table and invited some people to share it. One guys worked as an animator for Dreamworks and the rest did other typically L.A. things for a living (I had forgotten about just how much sway the entertainment industry holds in this town until I was boarding the plane in Austin and heard people talking about the blockbuster movies that they had worked on). After a while I heard them talking about the election so I mentioned that we had just been buried in national politics in Texas for three weeks. Turned into one of the coolest conversations I've ever had about politics and society and it was with total strangers. The thing is, and I don't know why the perception is that far otherwise, people in the L.A. area generally are as open and friendly and people anywhere else I've been, including Austin. It's just that the scale of everything out here is a lot greater and the environment is a typically more challenging one in which to live...I learned that in just a couple of months the last time I was here.

This is my first time back in L.A. County since the most important, dynamic and influential summer of my life. It's been quite an experience dealing with all of these memories springing back to life. As one of my favorite musicians put it..."ressurecting memories from ashes". I'm going back to Austin-San Marcos on Tuesday just in time to mootch off of SXSW in a way that only a local can. And I guess I have to catch up on some reading for school and other things that aren't truly important, but in many ways of course are, because if I'm not in school right now things are vastly different and a lot of things that I would have thought that I wanted were not the things I wanted after all. Being back in Southern California is a nice bookend to that ridiculous period of my life that began in 2005. Ridiculous in that it's ridiculous how little control I've had over what has happened (which turns to out to be good) and it's ridiculous that I'm blessed with friends that are far greater that I could have hoped or deserved to have.

I love you guys (whoever is reading this).

- Jordan

Don't Mess With (Remotely Dream of Critizing Anything About) Texas

Texas, it's a big state. It's got a lot of stuff in it. It's remarkably diverse ethnically, culturally, geographically, climatologically and economically. I'm not a native Texan (according to some people, this seems to constitute some kind of moral original sin), but I have spent all but 3 infantile years of my life residing right in the center of its giant mass.

As I've grown up, I've gradually gotten to visit other states and places, mainly in the Western 2/3rds of the United States in Canada. For the most part...I've missed home when I'm gone...but I find that there are a few things about Texas that I really don't miss when I'm gone. This is strange because if you talk to 95% of people from this state, you will hear ad-nauseum about how Texas is the best place to live...Texas is the greatest place on Earth, Texas is God's Country etc... I have to stop here and say that I really do love my part of the state, the Central part. I may be a tad biased, but Central Texas, the Austin Area and the Hill Country are clearly the best parts of the state in a number of areas. A great combination of scenery, great cities and towns, a more generally agreeable climate than most parts of the state, and a bunch of overall really great people. However, when I leave this area and travel to other parts of the state, I don't really see how Texas is the best. (Note: I don't think California is the best place either, but I've only been to the Southern part, there are a lot of pros and cons to both places, in general I think Central Texas is a generally better place to live than Southern Cal).

What is the best state? I don't know. I've only visited about 20 of them. This post is not about that. It's about how I'm having a hard time thinking that this state, as a whole, is the best place on Earth. It's way better than a third world country, way better than Arkansas, way better than a lot of places, but this state has some serious drawbacks and problems. I'll throw out a few examples.

*** All of this is my opinion based on a lot of observation and a strong understanding of geography...it is my graduate major and I have spent a lot of time studying this stuff. Please don't take it personally ***

Houston: The climate, lots of rain, lots of humidity, unbelievably unhealthy sprawl and air quality. The largest medical center in the world, in a county where 30% of the population lacks basic health insurance (in Harris County, that means over one million uninsured people) and thus lack access to the level of health care that many often take for granted. Plus, having to leave the city at the same time as 6 million other people because a hurricane is threatening to obliterate it is a complete drag.

Dallas-Fort Worth: The city has its pros and cons, but is surrounded by nothing resembling natural beauty. North Texas in general is basically Iowa with a large metropolitan area in the middle. Dallas has a better climate, but like Houston has similar problems with unnecessary sprawl and a lack of a local flavor...almost everything everywhere you go is either a national or regional chain business. Plus, lacking anything else, DFW is probably the most oppressively materialistic place I have ever spent a significant amount of time in...this includes Southern California.

San Antonio: I generally like San Antonio...but the amount of unrealized potential in the city is bothersome. It has a growing sprawl problem that is made even more noticeable because the city is in a comparatively beautiful setting compared to Dallas and Houston. The city does have more flavor and local culture than Houston and Dallas do, but that tends to disappear as you drive into the suburban northern part of the city. Even within the city there is a lot more that could exist to make it a special place beyond the usual tourist stops.

Other parts of Texas:

The Gulf Coast - Incredibly polluted, due to it being a hub for the petrochemical industry in a state that doesn't really give a flip about the environment. This is a huge drawback.

Rural Texas - It's pretty much like any rural area of any state. With the same pros and cons.

I was going to elaborate, but I think I'm going to leave it at this. I feel I'm being unnecessarily negative. This isn't to upset anyone. I'm just stating the fact that, in general, I don't agree that Texas is some perfect place that is more awesome than anywhere else. I like Texas as a whole, just maybe not as much as a lot of the people that have grown up here. The prominent arrogance of Texans bothers me partly because I don't think it's completely warranted, and partly because it really gets on the nerves of people from other states and we are widely resented for it. I would rather people in other states think favorably of Texas than resent it like they do. And believe me, it's not because of "they're just jealous"...I hear that rebuttal a lot. There's not as much to be jealous about as we lead ourselves to believe.

I think if you really like where you are you should be willing to take a critical look at it and find ways to improve it rather than having a tunnel vision type vacuum of often baseless praise for it.

- Jordan

Daniel Jason Reiter

My friend Daniel Reiter passed away last Thursday. He was twenty-two years old. It is difficult to imagine the number of lives that He touched in those twenty-two years. The void left by his passing is staggering...but I know there is a reason that his life was bottled up into twenty-two intense and full years.

Losing a close friend is something that I have never dealt with this before. I'm not even sure how to deal with it really. Losing a close friend...the first such loss...makes me at once thankful that I have not lost many people in my life...but also regret not caring more to spend more time in eternally important fellowship with others.

Dan is the reason I started writing again on here in the first place. Earlier this month he left me a note that was vividly encouraging, a note which asked that I start writing again. Ten days later he passed away in a car accident on Spring-Cypress road in the northern suburbs of Houston.

Unsure of what to say here...I guess I will just start to express what has been on my mind in the days since Dan's passing. The one thing I know for sure is that I will be posting here much more frequently. I want this journal to be a monument to Dan because without his tacit encouragement I may have stopped writing altogether several times...by doing so I would have robbed myself of a very important outlet for all of the thoughts that jam together in my head and mess with my emotions.

The loss of Dan has been made easier, if that is possible, by the knowledge that his faith in God was so incredible and almost seemingly inhuman (although really, Dan was just as human and fallible as you and I, he simply let a lot more divine love refract though him than I or most others do). Dan also loved to use parenthetical references (as do I). Thus...it will probably take me even longer to get though writing this...and even then...it will not begin to be a shadow of the story of how Dan was an incredible impact on me (an impact that I'm not sure he even realized...and if he did, he would likely draw attention away from it, his humility, in spite of his strong intellectualism, was always something that I always admired).

The road that took Dan's life is the same road I once drove down in 2004 while concerned about the life of another friend named Dan. It's another story entirely but my friend and this girl had hopped on a train in Bryan, Texas...without thinking about any of the potential consequences of their actions...fortunetly they turned out to be safe and I caught up to them in Spring...Dan Reiter's hometown. The first thing I did when I returned to San Marcos was go up to Dan's 12th floor dorm room in Jackson Hall, where he and I spent our first year at Texas State, and excitedly explained how I had visited his hometown under very strange circumstances (Dan was typically excited about most things people had to say to him and this was no exception). I had not been down that road, or to that part of the Houston area, until a few days ago when I rode with three of the dozens of mutual friends that I cried, laughed, and reminisced with last week, as we followed about a mile behind a loosely ordered funeral procession that plodded along to a beautiful grave site. I have never found a site so beautiful so anguishing to look upon.

But I have hope...hope in the community that Dan left behind. Hope that I will join Dan someday and hear that incredible trademark laugh...the one that you could hear from across a crowded room and know that Dan was still there even if you couldn't see him. The laugh that made a person feel relevant, loved, and worth something more than perhaps they thought before they heard it. I also hope that everyone that knew Dan, including myself, will be inspired by the short but remarkable life he led. His impact was anything but short...I'm too clouded by emotion to write anything more right now. I will continue to write about Dan for a long time to come. He is the reason I am writing anyway. He reflected so much love and encouragement and I am just having a hard time dealing with the fact that his bright light has moved on to where my limited human vision cannot see.

"A Man Walks Into A Bar and Says 'OW!'

Sometimes I am doing something around town and I come up with a great idea to write about. That idea conveniently seems to always disappear by the time I am actually in front of a computer, or a notebook, or a sandy beach or whatever. Thus, I will embark on a series of random notes.

Spurs win the NBA, again

I know that some of you guys don't really care about following pro-sports, but I do. I have been an avid Spurs fan since childhood. In fact they are the only reason I ever really care to watch the sport of basketball (I usually prefer football or hockey instead). Last Thursday, the Spurs wrapped up their fourth championship in nine years. The four titles places them behind only the Celtics, Lakers and Bulls in number of total championships...which is even more impressive when you consider that the Lakers and Celtics have been in the league (the Lakers won 5 titles in Minneapolis before moving to Los Angeles and rendering their nickname to irrelevant) about twice as long as the Spurs, and that the Bulls had some guys named Michael Jordan for a number of years.

The Spurs are, to but it simply, a very awesome team. They have pieced together a decade where they have won nearly half of the titles while never failing to miss the playoffs. The anchor of the team is, of course, Center Tim Duncan. Tim is arguably the most unselfish and humble superstar that any pro-sport has seen in my lifetime. This is incredible when you consider that these are even less-common attributes of NBA superstars than those of other sports. I leave the argument of whether or not they are a "dynasty" in pro-sports terms alone until their current run of greatness is over...and it is several years from being over. Not only are they the most well run organization in sports, but they are also still indwelt with the selfless personality that David Robinson originally brought to the team, which has enabled them to avoid the issues and pitfalls that eventually knock teams out of the realm of dominance.

My friends Derek, Jim and myself were in downtown San Antonio the night of the win and it was awesome to witness the display of community that happened there immediately following the win. Thousands of people converging on downtown San Antonio to celebrate the win. I think pro-sports, and particularly the Spurs, are so appealing because it provides one of the few areas where community still happens in our community-starved society.

Go Spurs Go!!!

WWMRD?

I've taken some what of a sabbatical (which isin't a pun this year because there are no major candidates who are jewish) from following the 2008 presidential election. One of the main reasons for this is that the current month is June of 2007...putting the election some 17 months away. Of course the primaries are sooner, but still in 2008. However, when I stopped checking on it Obama and Hillary were tied in the polls, now Hillary has jumped back out to a 13 point lead in the Democratic primary. I guess being scripted and superficial beyond reason is working for her still. Of course, Democrats want to win the election, which is why I am not too concerned that they'll actually end up nominating her.

Meanwhile on the Republican side, you have a situation where the candidate with the most momentum isn't even officially a candidate yet. He is however an actor...that worked for the GOP in California in terms of the Governors seat in the 70's, and then again for the GOP in the White House in 1980, then again in California earlier this decade. It is ironic that in the age of the "Hollywood Left", only center or right-wing candidates seem to be able to go from the screen to the public office. At the same time you have Mitt Romney, the openly Mormon (about as good among the Christian-right as being openly homosexual) former governor of Massachusetts (see previous parenthetical reference). With two strikes against him already among the conservatives that still steer the steadily sinking Republican (big "R") boat...the boat that is helping to torpedo the greater American republican (little "r") boat...Romney is trying to distance his campaign from discussions of the Mormon faith versus the overall Christian faith. But, we are talking about the GOP, so he is fighting an uphill battle in a primary for a party whose religious base has always been exploited by the highest bidder for political gain.

Recently, two of Mitt Romney's rival campaigns have finally (I say this not to condone it, but more to express amazement that it hasn't publicly been an issue among candidates to this point) brought up the issue of Mormonism and Romney. Many Christians, especially those on the right...see Mormonism as a "cult", and not a part of mainstream Christendom at all (see link). This is something significant enough to sink Romney's ship if it is not handled with the utmost tact by his campaign. So far, this is not the case. Romney disputed a question concerning Mormon doctrine and the return of Christ. Mitt said the doctrine is consistent with Christian scripture that Jesus will return to Jerusalem as foretold in the Bible. He was then quickly refuted by a senior member of the Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (which I will henceforth refer to as the LDS Chuch in order to avoid carpal tunnel syndrome) who said that the chuch teaches that, here's one for South Park fans, Jesus will return to several places, including Jerusalem (of course), as well as Jackson County Missouri (of course.......wait...what?). He said it. You can't make this stuff up. Apparently Romney can though...but it simply represents one of the many of his personal viewpoints that have shifted radically as election season continues its gradual downhill sludge toward 2008.

Laces Out, Dan!

There is a national news story coming out of San Diego about the revelation that four dolphins have washed ashore in the city, riddled with bullet holes. It's assumed that someone used them as target practice. I guess they should guard all of the other cute animals at San Diego...Baby Seal Beach at La Jolla Point and the Koala pen at the San Diego zoo in particular. I know that sniping dolphins from land, or a bridge, or wherever, is not a laughing matter...or shouldn't be...maybe...but neither is the fact that dozens of murders occur just 100 miles up the 5 freeway in Los Angeles (and other major urban areas) every month and they are not reported nationally because they are "supposed" to happen. People in Inner-cities are "supposed" to kill each other. But when a few dolphins get shot, there is a national uproar. Sometimes I wonder if I should even bother caring about this because our societal priorities seem gone beyond hope of returning to something resembling rationality. Thinking about it is depressing, but I don't think I should stop thinking about it...but that seems like what most of us have done. More people seem concerned with Paris Hilton getting out of jail early, or the fact that 23 dogs were recently found dead in a house, than with the fact that we are increasingly unable to stem the growing tide of human on human violence that is gradually eating our nation's cities alive.

- Jordan

Meanwhile, back at the Ranch

According to my friend Dan Reiter...I have posted anything here in a long time. He is correct. He also now has a philosophy degree that he finished earning in the time since I last posted this...a couple of dozen of my other friends either graduated...or were surprised to not graduate...an unpleasant surprise to say the least.

A lot has changed for me as well...just like in that David Bowie song...you know, the guy that they named Bowie High School after (that might have been James Bowie...it's a toss up, both make sense). I've had the flu, been depressed, been happy, bought a different car, watched the Spurs blast their way though the Western Conference Playoffs (on the cusp of winning their fourth title tomorrow night), got excited, messed up my wrist during a rare appearance on a skateboard and killed a bear with my bare hands (the bear killing was imaginary). I've also decided to go back to school, grad School...Geography at Texas State...a complete change from any previous plans...at least plans A though D...or even maybe E.

I missed San Marcos way too much to stay away. Many of my best friends are still going to be there. Everything related to returning to school has worked out better than I could have planned. I'm starting in August and I'm very excited.

Thanks and stuff.

- Jordan

I Ran

*cue Flock of Seagulls song/Chariots of Fire theme song*

I went for a run today. Started at my apartment, ended up at the north shore of Town Lake. Three miles, not much for most people but for me, basically a half-marathon (a marathon having been convinently shortened to six miles in this case).

Real Estate Babel

There has been a massive high-rise building boom in the city (Austin), in the past few years. This is largely due to a push by Mayor Will Wynn and the City Council to make downtown as much of a residential area as it is a governmental and entertianment (often one can be the other in Texas) district. Austin, being the famiously livable city that it is, has seen this idea suddently burst into over a dozen high rise projects being built concurrently. More than a couple of the projects are over 40 stories in height. To put this into context. The current tallest building in Austin is the Frost Bank Tower which measures 33 stories (and was only completed three years ago). I originally hoped that such overbuilding would occur, which would drive down prices of downtown housing, which are currently astronomical by Texas standards, with many high rise units selling briskly at as much as $500,000 in a city where the median house value is roughly $175,000 (and also rising sharply). However, it's looking more and more like this will not be the case and living downtown (where many people work simple service jobs in addition to the typical white collar stuff) will be the domain of the affluent.

I guess we'll always have William Cannon Drive, until some real estate genius decides to make it trendy, give it a nice catchy trendy name like "WilCan"...

Ted "I'm a Flaming Heterosexual" Haggard

The news has been on the depressing side lately...then again, when is it not. I found the following items to be funny (in the bad way) or just plain sad)

• Ted "I'm a Flaming Heterosexual" Haggard

Ted Haggard, former president of the National Association of Evangelicals, and pastor of a Colorado Springs "megachurch"...my favorite kind of church to dislike...resigned last year after a former male prostitute revealed that Haggard, who had (and still has somehow) a wife at the time, had a sexual relationship with him for three years, and also committed the lesser sin of using Meth. He decided to reveal the affair after learning that Haggard had been working and preaching in support of Colorado's same-sex marriage ban referendum. Having felt the true brunt of Haggard's hypocrisy he eagerly assembled a horde of salivating press members that passionately spread the news of the bombshell revelation. Having nowhere to go but up, Haggard tearfully apologized and resigned in front of his large stunned congregation. Haggard then went to Phoenix where he has spent the last three months in a self-imposed exile. But then it gets kind of funny...

One of four pastors who is overseeing Haggard's...I guess I'll call it rehab...in Phoenix basically ran to the press this week and exclaimed that Haggard has "discovered" that he is "completely heterosexual".

Hallelujah!!!

That's a very convenient discovery. The kind of convenience that only finding weapons of mass destruction in recently invaded countries can afford. It's amazing that someone can (as is most likely the case) have sex with another man over the course of three years and still be completely heterosexual. Now I don't want to get into the whole debate over whether one can or can't help being gay, I just find this to be somewhat ironic...the fact that three months of bumming around in the desert can cure three years of some pretty not completely heterosexual behavior. I wonder if his rehab consisted of having to sit in a lawn chair on a rocky hillside covered in tall phallic shaped Saguaro cacti until Haggard was unable to notice how phallic they are and then suggest, on his own mind you, that he be taken to a melon patch instead.

A close advisor has recommended that Haggard take on "secular work" for the near future. But I sense that an evangelical (a.k.a. theocratically political) comeback is in his future. I mean, if you can be cured of being gay in just three months, then obviously gays shouldn't get married and Ted Haggard, knowing full well what being gay is like, should lead the moral crusade. Only he has been both fully gay and fully heterosexual. He understands the moral enemy better than most. He's been on the inside...okay I'll stop.

Save us and our institution of marriage Ted Haggard! It doesn't matter how badly you personally violated your own. We need you! Pat Robertson has gone crazy, Falwell is washed up and Ralph Reed is too busy trying to get indian casinos built, or not built, depending on which side pays him the most.

At Night, the Ice Weasels Come

This week the residents of Central Texas, myself included, learned that you can still function as a human being in less than perfect weather. An unusually long and bitter cold spell (by our standards) has smothered the area with a inch or so of ice and snow. Snow is great. I like snow, mainly because I don't have to shovel it in April like people in certian lake-happy upper Midwestern states sometimes do. Unfortunetly pure snow is about as common here as sitting Governors that aren't evil. The ice/snow ratio this week was along the lines of 80/20. People freaked out. I kind of freaked out. Accidents happened. People died. Thousands climbed onto the top of the Frost Bank Tower awaiting the imminent return of Christ (or aliens in the case of South Austinites)...okay this is an exaggeration. What's not an exaggeration is today when I saw a traffic Jam on the freeway caused by people skittishly driving 5 miles per hour across a completely melted bridge (at least the freeway lanes were).

My least favorite aspect, aside from the preventable deaths and injuries, of the semi-annual Central Texas "winter storm" is hearing people from colder, crappier climates drone on and on about how people in Austin "don't know how to drive on the ice." Seriously, shut up. Mabye not ever having to do it has something to do with that. By your logic you should also be expressing shock at the inability of people in Cuba to play ice hockey, or suprise that there aren't more Egyptian quarterbacks in the NFL. Allthough I will agree that people here tend to use less than perfect weather as an excuse to be complete morons behind the wheel.

Locals dealt with the ice as well as they knew (a knowledge base that is a pretty small one). Of course no one who is from south of Dallas has an ice scraper...why would you ever need one? I'm lucky that I can park my car in a garage which saved my windshield from becoming even more cracked. Others who parked in the elements had to deal with a half inch to an inch of ice on their windshields. Since you never need an ice scraper in your car, I saw the following items being used to scrape ice off of windshields: A wooden spoon, a butter knife...and my favorte, a fork. I once used a screwdriver. I recommend that method as long as you don't mind having to get a new windshield.

But the importiant thing is that, among the estimated 1.5 million residents of the Austin Metro Area, 1,499,998 of us survived the ice apocalypse. Not a bad survival rate when you consider that many thought the world was coming to an end.

Rick Perry, Governor by Default

The 2006 election came and went with a bang, not a literal one, that would have been loud and pointless...more of the silent metaphorical type of bang.

It is a sad thing that there is no runoff in the Texas Governors race. The voters of Texas made it clear that the majority of Texans are opposed to Rick Perry...so much so that 60% of Texans were willing to vote for a slogan wielding grandma, a singing Jewish cowboy, or...*gasp*...a democrat instead. However, untimately those voices meant nothing because not enough people could settle on a candidate that they liked best...and this is a shame.

In many elections, a runoff election is held between the top two vote getters when no candidate recieves more than 50% of the vote. Perry got 39%...Democrat Chris Bell got a suprising 30% statewide. It is clear that the voters were asking for the chance to choose between the two without Kinky Friedman or Carol Keeton Strayhorn complicating the menu of candidates. In a democratically correct election, the unpopular Perry would have to face the increasingly notable Bell in a head to head contest...a contest that more than likely would prove tough to win for Perry even a heavily republican leaning state. It's easy to assume that many of those that voted for Kinky or Strayhorn were repulsed by the job that Perry has done during the six long years of his governorship. How he has managed to do so many awful things with so little power is mind boggling. The latest...an attempt to fast track the approval for construction of 17 not-very needed and heavily polluting coal power plants across Central Texas. This in addition to his incredibly irresponsible planning for a Trans Texas Corridor highway system that is really several new corridor highways...many of which are parallel to interstates without much traffic in the first place (a.k.a...ones that aren't labeled with the number 35). These are just two examples of the many reasons why our Republican governor is so unpopular, even among a heavily republican voting base.

The End of All Things Will Be Televised

I'm not a big proponent of the idea that current world events are exactly what was spelled out in Revelation as ushering the end of the World. I think that God would have designed Revelation as a way to keep people on their toes because practially every generation since the apostle John has been able to rationally compare his visions to events in their present day. This means, of course, that I don't think that The Antichrist is alive yet. That said...there are a lot of people out there, including...and especially...within the mainstream American church...that are teaching some very anti-christian (when compared with the words of Christ which to me should be the standard of Christian thought but increasingly are not so in America today) ideas and messages. The most henious (as Bill and Ted would say) among these I believe is the focusing on gaining wealth and the idea that God's plan for the lives of his little christian children is to gain wealth and be prosperous and comfortable. It doesn't take more than a couple minutes of reading the words of Christ to see how increadibly and basslessly wrong this is but this post is not about that in particular.

With this preface in mind. If you were to in some way threaten my life (the cliche 'gun to the head' is acceptbale) and ask me that if the Antichrist were alive today, who would he be...I would have a pretty clear answer. And it would be completely serious.

And the answer is:



Joel Osteen, pastor of Houston's Lakewood Church (one of the world's largest "mega-churches") and author of New York Times bestseller "Your Best Life Now".

Now this theory may sound harsh and judgemental...and it is. But, he really does fit the profile. Charming and persuasive...he appeals to both believers and "unbelievers" while preaching a gospel of his own that many will confuse with the true gospel. He has literally millions of followers around the world who speak of him as if he could do no wrong. Also interesting is that many of his followers speak of him as highly, or even more so, than they would God himself...because really, as Dan pointed out...he never even really gives God any credit.

Of course he's not the anti-christ...but I believe if the eternal cosmic stuff were to go down next year, he would be a good candidate.

With Friends Like You Who Needs Friends

I cannot imagine life without my best friends. That's all I can say. So geographically dispersed yet so close. Some I have lived with, others gone to college with, and others I've met on road trips. Some I haven't gotten to see in over a year.

Not much to say because if I start talking about how much I appreciate my friends I won't be able to stop, nor will I mentioned everyone that I need to.

The Cone Zone

This morning was normal. I got up at 6:00, drove to work, made coffee and such and then clocked out. The afternoon however involved a quick drive to a place that by Central Texas standards is far from normal.

It's a place known as the Lost Pines in Bastrop County about a half-hour east of the city. It's name is derived from the fact that there is no really good reason for a sizeable forest of pine trees to exist in this part of the state...at least a couple hundred miles from the nearest rational pine forest. Apparently the soil there is just unusually conductive to the growth of thousands of beautiful pine trees, and even allows them to survive the periodic drought that affects Central Texas.

The idea to make the afternoon trip came from a recently aquanted friend of mine named Vince. On the drive back into Austin we coined the term "cone zone" as a way to describe this ecological anomaly. He just moved here from the other side of the country and I am excited because I have a chance to really make the transition to Central Texas life a cool one for him and to kind of be this dude's personal tour guide. I like being a tour guide, I'm a natural at it...I just don't think I would enjoy being a guide on the same tour every day. I'm just not the type to stay in one place for long.

But that's exactly the state that I find myself in.

I Am Obsessed with the new MewithoutYou Album

This piece of pure artistic beauty, known more commonly as "Brother, Sister" by MewithoutYou, came out last month and I continue to listen to it obsessively...right now actually.



I've always appreciated MewithoutYou. Creative, eccentric, great in concert, thought provoking, and of course...rad. However, this album has significantly elevated them in my estimation. I am already certian that I like this album even more than their much loved (by me, and anyone else with a soul that has heard it) [A -> B] Life. That album is in my top ten of all time, which means this album is likely to sqeeze in there as well. I've actually never truly defined my top ten favorite albums of all time...but I have probably said that at least 17 or so albums are in my "top ten".

In the freaking name of all that is holy...I really like this album, a lot. So much that I put the new Mars Volta aside in order to become properly obsessed with this album.

I recently went out of state on a road trip with a couple of close friends (who also happen to be similarly obsessed...or even more obsessed..with this band...so the new stuff got a couple of quality spins and even made driving across Oklahoma somewhat bareable.

It was even playing in two other cars over the weekend...unsolicited by eagerly appreciated by myself.

To make things even better, they're coming to Austin on the 26th with Piebald. The downside is that they are not headlining...not only that, but they're opening for a band that I don't particularly like...but oh well, I'm going anyway and I'm as excited as I have been for a show since Lagwagon...and only because I had never seen Lagwagon and I've seen MwY twice...but it's been at least a couple of years or so...or 18 months...or something...too long.

Buy this album, or at least listen to it, or just check out the website or something.

The Theoretical End of Summer and Other Observations

Because I like to observe things.

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The Weather: What a change. After spending the majority of the first half of October in or near the 90's...a cold front moved though (with a lot of rain, which was interesting in itself) and today's high temperature...with sunny skies...was only 70 degrees. Unreal. "Sweater weather" for Austin in October. Supposedly we're finally done with the 90's...which is nice except I've already heard that a couple of times already this month.

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I've become frustated (again) with the overall political debate...the shallowness, or the lack thereof. Shallow advertisments attacking donors, vague accusations of corruption, the conversational marginalization of the Iraq war and the incredible and increasingly uncessary suffering of both troops and innocents overseas and the refusal of the increasingly totalitarianistic White House to face any sort of anything remotely resembling reality on the issue...even with the pure greed ridden and perhaps evil intentions of several cabnet members exposed on a near-daily basis.

When you have the two sides arguing over how many hundreds of thousands of civilians have actually died since the U.S. invasion and subsequent Civil War...er...sectarian violence...then something is really messed up with the fabric of our political society. By the way the U.S. troop death count is now over 2,800...but that's only 6 to 7 times the size of congress...mabye putting it in that context would help them understand things since it's hard to see outside of that big and comfortable building.

But of course I'm not trying to downplay the deaths of our own troops...it's tragic...I know people that are/have been over there...it would be helpful if Bush did as well.

"So you're saying we should put Saddam Hussein back in power?"

Shut up.

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Just because "9/11 was an inside job" makes for a catchy bumper sticker, doesn't mean it isin't a really really really laughable conspiracy theory when you factor in things like reality. That said...I do believe that 9/11 was a good coincidence as a political bullying tool...even a happy one...for certian people in the White House such a Donald "Let's invade Iraq before going after Al Queda in Afganistan" Rumsfeld.

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Save Darfur? Why should we care, they don't have any oil or political clout. Saving thousands of lives there wouldn't make the price of gas go down and make it cheaper to fill up our H2's...so we can all afford to add that third story onto our six bedroom houses.

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If you're in Texas...I would recommend voting for the following people before Rick Perry for Governor:

- Chris Bell
- Kinky Friedman
- Marc Katz (the deli guy)
- Willie Nelson
- Kirk Watson
- Tony Sanchez
- James Werner ("the libertarian guy", as I called him in person, it was embarrasing)
- Selina (would still do more good than Perry despite not living)
- Bill Parcells
- The ghost of Cesar Chavez
- Joel Osteen (only slightly less evil than Perry)
- Leslie
- Manu Ginoblli
- Chuck Norris
- Cedric Bixler-Zavala
- The "Rich Texan" on the Simpsons
- And I guess "Grandma" Strayhorn...but only if the Rich Texan is invalidated on the basis of being a cartoon character

Me Myself and I

I am self-absorbed. So self-absorbed that I have almost become unable to think of others or of ways to help them. I had a well-timed conversation with a friend that brought this to light in my head. Here I am writing about myself to prove it.

When you seek independence you get it...and when you do...be ready to not do anything for anybody else until you begin to pull away from that selfish desire.

We were made to be in community. Always in community. Never alone. Never truly in charge.

People are Awesome

There is something amazing in my life that I am not nearly thankful enough for. That would be the unfathomably cool but geographically group of people in my known as my good friends.

These people bring so much joy into my life...sometimes God even speaks to me though them...sometimes to them through me. I would be skeptical of what I just said if it wasn't for the fact that I have such a bond with certian people that I cannot explain.

Some are here in the Austin/San Marcos area...others in other parts of the state...others still at a small school in the middle of nowhere...and yet others scattered across the North America.

I often daydream that we could all be in one place...just us...just hanging out all the time and laughing and enjoying each others company week after week. I was thinking about this on the way back from a recent trip to visit one of my best friends and several other people who are good friends that I've met though him. I was thinking about it when I realized that that idea is the closest that I have ever been to envisioning heaven.

It's Gonna Rain!

It rained this morning in Austin...first substantial...or even measurable rainfall that we've had since July 6....over 50 days of dry and scorching (97-104 F) weather. The first signficant change in the weather pattern in two months also marks a signicant change in my life. During the entire dry spell I lived with two other guys in a modest and very blue house in my favorite neighborhood in Austin (Bouldin Creek)...suddenly I find myself moving from a neighborhood full of "hippies" to one full of mostly fratastic college students...University of Texas students to be exact. I am not a U.T. student...I'm still having a hard time actually accepting that I'm not a student at all..I'm in between college and career and it is akward. I have a good job with good people that pays my bills and I am recovering from the financial crap-storm that kicked off my summer but I'm still feeling like I've not fully recovered.

About a month ago, not knowing where I would live after this summer now that I had a job...I got a message from my friend Rob Slater, a U.T. student, that his apartment needed a fourth roommate. After first balking at the considerably high West Campus rent I realized that my share would actually not be much higher than what I was already paying due to the number of people in the apartment as well as much lower utility costs than I had in the rickety house on Boudlin Avenue. Also...for the first time since Spring I would be in a place with someone that I knew well and would be around often enough to create a mutual spiritual and emotional support structure that I hadn't really had during the summer. People are importiant to me because I learn from them. I am cynical and stubborn to the point that I almost can only learn and accept new things, as well as criticism, from those who I let really close to me...mainly my twenty or so closest friends who are either concentrated in San Marcos or spread across the country.

The fact that only a few tenths of an inch of rain fell during the past 10 weeks is symbolic to me of my own spiritual life...and emotional life as well. I haven't felt much, or sensed much during that time. Summer was indeed a dry spell for me in a number of ways. At one point, almost overwhelmed by loneliness and at others attacked by angst and frustration with God, my fellow man, and myself. I don't think that moving into a new place, or different weather for that matter in itself represents a positive change but I do think that it is highly conincidental with the representation I feel it has for what is about to happen in my life. During the past few years I could see my life "one year from now"...but that has completely clouded up and I have no idea where I am going nor do I sense that I have all that much control over it...like driving in neutral...not always a bad thing really...allthough to me it can often be frustrating.

But ultimately, even though my immediate career plans didn't work out, I was constantly reminded of grace and love though my friends. They, not the fact that I love Austin or that I am comfortable in the region where I spent almost all of my childhood, are the number one reason why I have stayed close instead of immediately seeking out a career in the media elsewhere. I've said it's because I didn't have the resources to start a big job search (which was primarily true for much of the summer)...but that doesn't tell the entire story...or even an importiant part of it. I don't know if I have ever conveyed that because the emotions behind that thought are explosive and overwhelming. I love the people that God has placed in my life and I hope that I never forget how to show it.

- Jordan

Class War? Mabye. Class Conflict...Certainly

The 90's were a good decade...for most. The Economy was booming, we weren't (seriously) at war with anybody and the news media didn't have to concern itself with massive widespread corruption allegations of congressional and business leaders alike. They were thus able to properly carpet their schedules with O.J. Simpson or the Clinton perjury question and subsequent impeachment trial that followed (which, for those of you just graduating public high school in America...is what "subsequent" means).

Most importiant to my current topic of discussion...was the visable absense of a "class-war". With an expanding middle-class and the greater overall realization of the so-called "American Dream" (construed by the middle class as advancement to the upper class...and by the lower class as advancement to the middle). Their seemed to be less emnity toward the rich and more hope among the poor (allthough things were not great for all of course). This led to many politicians on the left pulling more to the center on economic issues because American's widely percieved that what was good for the rich was also good for them.

This perception is quickly eroding today among both the working and middle classes (who also work...and increasingly harder in order to avoid dropping down the socio-economic ladder). The 35 percent (give or take a few points from week to week) job approval rating of our current fiscally conservative president are just one of many indicators that poor and middle class Americans view the health of the economy (as it relates to them) and their overall chances of financial success and well-being of their familes in an increasingly pessimistic light. Simply starting an increasingly unpopular war is not on its own enough to derail a president's support. The American people seemingly are less trusting in the White House and Congress to have their best interests at heart.

It began in the late 90's when working Americans everywhere found themselves shocked by the collapse of Enron and the allegations that surfaced of a few greedy executives orchestrating massive financial misdeeds and damaging the livelihoods of thousands of workers. Even the half-hearted attempt of Washington and local governments to go after so-called "White collar crime" following similar allegations waged at executives in other companies was enough to gain the average worker's attention. This translated to a growing distrust of the average American worker of the mantra that the rich people who are currently in charge of the American Dream Inc. have their best interests at heart. This is a striking and potentially positive trend as it appears that those at the top of the corporate world did not (and still do not today) deserve the trust and credit they were given by the average American.

Today more Americans, correct in their cynicism, are wondering if the War on Terror was used as a gateway to fight at war that may have been more about the financial security of companies such as Halliburton than the security of the American people themselves. More are looking beyond the price on the Exxon sign (which has nearly tripled in just three years) to think that perhaps more than just an increase in global demand and tighter supplies are to blame for the massive price increase that continues to make life more difficult for working people depending on their automobiles in our automobile-focused infrastructure. Financial corruption in corporate America, and the sympathetic people in congress who seemingly face more corruption-related indictments each week, are gaining the attention of the average voter and making them think. Even members of my traditionally very-conservative family are second-guessing what they have always believed about the status quo and the benevolence of those currently in power (mainly on the Republican side).

This trend is a troublesome one for the current party in power and for the status quo that allows the rich to get richer by nearly any means (including outright corruption and loss of American jobs and innocent lives) on the backs of everyone else. The workers of America are still a sleeping tiger (loose pun loosely intended) but they are begining to flinch just a bit. The Democrats unfortunely still don't have any really good answers and have spent so much time going to the far-left on social issues when they really should have focused on moving back to the left financially. As it is...with little to go on in the Democratic side and an unquestioned lack of sympathy on the Republican side...America's working and middle classes are still without a vehicle with which they can bring about substantial change. That is why I am unsure that many Americans will vote to make a change in Washington in 2006...many may just stay home out of frustration except in places such as Texas where two independents are legitimate gubenatorial candidates.

However...history has shown that genuine oppression in the United States is only tolerated for so long. Working Americans will soon rise up and shout with their voices and their votes to end this corrupt system and restore our democracy to the fair and free system many of us once thought we had. It will probably be played off at first as merely discontent people thinking only of themselves...but as it persists...the socio-ecnomic nature of the political uprising will be very clear. It will only take a few hundred thousand more layoffs...a few dozen more corruption allegations against members of congress...a few hundred more indictments of executives for financial evils. At least this is my hope. My optimism has been challenged in recent months...but history has shown that optimism does not always lead to disapointment. I look forward to the day when the majority of Americans currently taken-advantage of finally stop doing what they're told and stand up for themselves.

The Prodigal Returns to South Austin

Hello this is me updating for the first time since...apparently the immigration protests. For those of you who got burned out on that story. The protested engendered an initially positive response from congressional authorities and the public alike. Pressure was put on Washington to create a comprehensive reform bill. Even the President gave a nationally televised prime time address in support of such a bill. Then...a little partisanship got in the way...the pro-immigrant groups again protested en-mass...a national "day without an immigrant" boycott was held. This time though people reacted less positivley...the protests seemed overbearing. Congress turned a deaf ear. A music group make a massive P.R. blunder by releasing a version of the U.S. National Anthem en Espanol and any attempts at reforming a broken border system fell apart in the House. Depressing? A little bit...to me at least. Damn politics. But that is not what I am writing about actually...

It's been two months since I graduated from Texas State University with a Mass Communications degree. I'm taking some time off from looking for a career job for now to focus on getting my stuff together. Mainly not be broke, mabye get a laptop and take advantage of all of this free time to further build the relashonships that I have been blessed with in the Austin-San Marcos area.

I have moved in to a house in near South Austin...just a mile from Downtown not far from South First Street and Barton Springs. I really really like this neighborhood and would like to stay here longer if I can. I will probably write about it more in the future...for now I'll just say that it's practically my dream neighborhood. Lots of local establishments...lively but not obnoxious...very diverse in many different respects and several corner coffee shops and weird stores and such. The location is insurmountably great and the other two guys living in the house are quite agreable so far and I doubt that I will have any issues with the house (besides the fact that the a/c just quit but even so it's still worth it, and it'll probably be fixed soon).

So for now I'm borrowing a roommate's computer and hopefully I will have one of my own soon and can dedicate some of this free time to writing more.

Why Immigrants Should be Seen As People

Watching the massive debate of the status of some 12 million illegal and undocumented immigrats (who are actually two different things) I have become somewhat upset over how the debate has progressed. It's not that I'm mad that all of these people are trying to get out of their lousy countries and make a halfway decent living for themselves and their families on this side of our precious God-given (sarcasm) border that...um, if I remember correctly we kind of forcefully drew in the 1800's...nor am I upset about potentially losing (this is assuming that we could actually force 12 million people back across) the God-given (see first reference) economic benifits that they provide to the child of manifest destiny. Nope...I'm simply concerned about the fact that the humanity of these millions of people...many of which have taken to the streets lately to protest their systematic exploitation...has been replaced and they are now look at by many of us with green dollar figure obsessed lenses. At every point in the imigration debate...the central question is not the status of their families, their livelyhood...their economic well being...it's ours. The debate has changed to being a question of human rights and morality clashing with the rule of law...it's become "which answer to the immigrant question provides the most benifit to the American Economy".

As this point in conversations about the issue I get that feeling one gets when they hold for expected appluase and all they here as murmuring and a cough or two. You see...the economy is everything to us. I agree that it is important...but I also agree that human rights and the well being of the people in question is also importiant. Some people think nothing about our Government spending hundreds of billions of dollars to blow up and rebuild another country on the other side of the World...but God forbid we allow doctors to give emergency care to the sick child of some illegal immigrant who's freeloading off the society that our tax dollars support (of course I don't believe this, I'm not that ignorant...by the way their sales tax rate is the same as ours). Is the economy more importiant than people. I'm going to be Anti-American here and say no. Damn the Economy if it's going to continue to be built on a foundation of exploitation. I'm all about having a good economy...but only if it's built on respect for human rights of everyone living here and around the World.
But why should these immigrants be seen as people? Well, for one thing they all have beating hearts...human brains, for the most part two eyes, ears, arms...and they all have a soul. They all have basic fundemental human rights. The right to exist. If the immigration debate would be framed with this in mind, instead of simply being about the economy...then mabye many of us would be convicted to think a little more compassionately about our neighbors instead of hypocritically denying them the rights that we think we were destined to recieve...when really 98% of us were born in this country because one of our ancestors came to this country the same way that they did.
I'm not writing this to enter the debate between the fence building and the "let them all in" crowds...I just want to remind anyone who reads this that we're talking about people, not dollar signs.

The Wonderful World of SXSW

Spring Break for me was very Central Texas focused. I spent a couple of slighly moody days in my hometown of Temple...but most of it was in downtown Austin. I have this internship with News 8 Austin. It's going well...I like it there and want to work there. This kept me in town for South by Southwest, which, despite it's flaws and stuff...is a great thing even if you're a freeloader like myself.

*more later*

Broadcast Newz

The news is getting pretty funny...not to say that it wasn't funny before, but seriously funny. Sure, having a well known (in Austin) Austin lawyer shot by the vice president is pretty funny...except for the part about the physical pain and being in ICU and things of that nature...or handing over control of six of our ports to a company that is basically controlled by the United Arab Emirates, or the government spying on Americans without a warrant, or anyway...perhaps it's not the news that's so funny, it's the way it's being portrayed. Allthough I'll admit seeing Tom Delay's name in the Travis County felony court docket the other day was very amusing.

Remember the Recent Disney film version of "The Alamo?"

Me neither...allthough actually I do only because it was filmed in Hays County, where I live. For some reason actor Jason Patrice...or however you spell it, it really dosen't matter, he's not really that marquee of an actor anyway, thinks he's a big shot and shouldn't have been arrested like a normal person. His most well known film is the recent Disney version of the Alamo, which lost out worse at the box office than the Texas Army did at the Alamo. He sued the Austin Police Deptartment alleging unfair treatment when he got arrested for something that wasn't very relevant to anything in your daily life. A.P.D. won and the city and nation collectivley yawned. Mabye he should just sue all of the people who didn't go see the Alamo because that would have probably made him a larger celebrity and given him a greater chance (provided he could get the case moved to a court in Los Angeles). A better idea was to make a film that didn't bomb. Anything would have worked better. Mabye instead of Billy Bob Thorton in the lead role, they should have exhumed the bones of John Wanye (as sacreligious as that would be to rural america and all of the guys with the "God Bless John Wanye stickers" on their trucks...on that note...why?...He's dead...unless it's a metaphorical "God bless John Wanye" as in "That John Wanye guy was awesome and I'm going to put a sticker on my truck to memorialize him because I'm living out my wild west dreams vicariously though his movies)...brought the bones on the set and animated them...then put a C.G.I. version of the Duke into the film playing seven of the eight most promenent cast members of the Texas army (Juan Antonio Seguin being the exception...nah, a C.G.I. John Wanye could pull that one off too). The point is that even John Wanye's dead corpse would have meant better box office numbers. Therefore Jason Patrice should just shut up and go back to being the nobody that he doesn't realize he is.

Speeding for Jesus

(I've decided I'm not going to write about my own life so much or what I'm feeling but more on observations, at least on this page)

Driving downtown (Austin) today on the Freeway (I-35...which I call "the Freeway"...mabye because everyone else calls it 35 and it's my statement of distain for the modern world...or I just like the word freeway...yea...that's it...it's a nice word...nice and free, in a way). On the way there (and back) from my comfortable place in San Marcos I noticed four distinct times where people were speeding in a reckless way. Now...everyone under the age of 70 speeds at some point on 35 (which ironically, has a speed limit of 70)...the flow of traffic usually hovering between 80 and 85. However, there is a differece between speeding and speeding with a reckless disreguard for human life (driving much faster than the flow of traffic and changing lanes unnessicarily in an agressive way). One of those drivers was a guy in a rather large black truck...I passed him, then minutes later he suddently decided he wanted to go over 100 miles per hour for some reason, so he sped by me dangeriously, weaved though traffic that was already going over 80, and disapeared into a thoughtless (not a random use of that word) oblivion. Naturally, I must give him the benifit of the doubt (parenthetical reference), perhaps his friend called to tell him that H-E-B was putting Bud Light on sale and he was rushing there so he could drink then and then litter his neighborhood with the empty cans the next day...or his water broke...which would have been distubing but probably would have made him famous.

You've already forgotten about the other three cars that I mentioned. There were three other cars, this is your reminder. Anyway what stood out about each of those cars was the shiny metallic fish symbol promenently placed on the back of each car. Three of the four cars driving in the most reckless and agressive way were advertising Christianity. Now don't get me wrong, I know that nothing says "Jesus loves you" more than tailgating someone until you find an open space slightly larger than your car to squeeze though and pass that person in such a way that they're sure to notice your religious affiliation and move them one step closer to Atheism. Not that this is the biggest problem in the perception of Christianity by the general public...but it is a microcosm of the problem. It is also the main reason why I refused from the start to attach a fish to my car.

My driving doesn't exactly reflect Christlike principles and in addition to that fact, I'm the person with a soul, not my car. The comment is sometimes made that aliens observing our planet mistaking automobiles as the dominant species. But not only that, they would probably notice that the cars in North America have a dominant fish worshipping religion and that those cars are always in a hurry because by being in a hurry they bring glory to the shiny metal fish in the great ocean.

My point is that in so many ways people wear religion on their sleeves (or their bumpers) while the rest of the shirt is in tatters and the glaring divide between what we say we are and what we truly are is only going to harm us in the long run. So take the fish off your car and examine the truth and the reasons behind your beliefs instead of throwing them on like the shirt on your floor that doesn't smell as bad as the other ones...don't worry, you won't go to hell for doing so, allthough some aliens might think that your car will.

San Marcos Stories

My first entry of the New Year...I didn't plan on it happening so late. My break was awesome, writing about it would only serve as partial justice so I will refrain from doing so in order to process my thoughts concerning a few more recent events. This is mostly intended for my friends who hopefully still check this from time to time.

I have made a few observations of things that I am thankful for.

First, I really like San Marcos...it continues to grow on me in an amazing way. We live in paradise compared to many places...the people are great, the nearby cities (particularly Austin) are awesome, it's located in the scenic Texas Hill Country...and the weather has been fantastic. It's been close to perfect (sunny, often under 20% humidity, highs in the 60's, 70's and 80's) almost every day so far this month, which happens to be January...perfect weather is not common in January in many places north of the Equator...but in Central Texas it is.

Secondly, there is a great community forming here among my friends and I have had little to do with making it happen...neither have they...it's just, happening. I have the best friends here and in other parts of Texas and the United States that I could have ever imagine and I am so extremely thankful for them.

Third, last semester was rough...very challenging at times...however, I can look back on the experiences I had and be comforted that I did actually grow while I underwent them. Now, I am less picky and materialistic than before...I thought I was already, but I learned otherwise...I still had a lot to grow in those areas and I still do as of today.

Fourth, I love working with junior high/high school kids...I'm thankful for that because that is what I currently do for a living. I was skeptical about it at first...but my skepticism was won over by a sense that I am doing something, for now at least, that I am somewhat gifted at...simply investing in the lives of those that are a little younger than myself. The same is true of a few freshman guys that I have gotten to know over the past semester. It's strange...I have always mainly associated with people that are my age, maybe a year or two younger, or a year older...and yet now I have found myself building relationships with guys that are younger than that...but I really do love those guys and I know that I help them out and yet they've blessed my life as well in a big way. I contenue to learn that you cannot put limits on friendship or on love of any kid. I have seem people that I wrote off based on age, background, where they are from or their interests become some of my best friends here at Texas State. I used to hate being proven wrong but in this area I really do not mind so much.

For those of you reading that know me, those of you that I consider to be my friends...I love you, I really love all of you guys...I just need to find a good way to express it. Thank you so much.

- Jordan

Central Texas Sunsets Are Amazing

I grew up in Central Texas but I never really appreciated the sunsets here until recently. I love sunsets...nothing says "God exists" like an incredibly colorful soon to be evening sky lit up with more colors than I could percieve to exist. Celestial artwork so unapprochable and incredible that nothing created by man can match its beauty. The last few sunsets have been especially amazing. Yesterday I was driving though the plain landscape of Temple along a long and straght boulevard and had to pull over at a disc golf park to fully admire what was to be one of the greatest sunsets that I have ever seen, anywhere. I stood, sat, and snapped pictures for a good half hour, the entire time trying to convince myself that what I was seeing was real. It was amazing. In a few days I'll post a picture or two.

The landscape in Temple and most of Bell County may be plain and boring, but the sky here does all that it can to make up for it at sunset. The average beauty of the sunsets here far outshines anywhere else that I have ever lived or spent more than a couple of days at. I'm looking forward to returning to San Marcos this weekend...I like the landscape there much more than here...but I will miss the sunsets. It's hard to explain it I guess to someone who hasn't spent a lot of time here but for at least 20 or 30 minutes on a given day it is one of the most beautiful places on Earth.

A Few Things That I Hat...er...Sort of Dislike About Temple

I'm not a naturalist by any strech but I am starting to think that there are certian limiting effects that certian environments, such as my hometown of Temple, can have on the people who know nothing but that environment.

Of course, I do "like" my hometown ("hometown in this case is a general reference to the Temple/Killeen/Bell County Area in which I spent almost all of my childhood)...however, there are certian things about the atmosphere here that, in light of my own experiences in other places...tend to frustrate me. Spending the winter break here has reminded me of the reasons that I should appreciate the fact that I now live elsewhere. This is not to say that I do not have strong connections here and additionally not to say that there are not things here that I miss, but I have been doing a lot of thinking about those things that I know dislike that I never really even noticed before I left.

I am first amazed that moreso than in any other place that I have visited, you really do need access to a car to survive. I am only recognizing this because my car's engine threw a rod and I currently do not have a working vehicle as a result. It's a spread out place, a very spread out place. No place it's size or larger that I have ever visited is more spread out with a more dispersed population and infrustructure. Temple has around 60,000 people but it's limits strech as far as 7 miles south of the city "center"...6 miles north, and an astounding (in relation to population) 13 miles to the west (everyone wants to live near the lake I guess). My friend Dan's family lives 11 miles from downtown but still in the city limits. Housing developments are placed almost indescriminantly in a widely-spaced patchwork fashion across a wide, flat, and mostly boring landscape. Driving around town you can see new KB Home or Centex housing developments surrounded on all sides by fields with short brown grass, brush, some cows and the occasional lonely tree. This isin't so bad I guess, if your car works. Otherwise you had better have friends, which I fortunetly do.

The atmosphere here is static. People are generally nice I guess. Heartland American values thrive in one of the reddest parts of "red America". However, there is also a stifiling sense of a lack of change, or a willingness to change. People welcome a new resturant by flooding into it and placing it on the front page of the local paper. Development and new residents are welcomed as well. But other changes, idealogoical ones, will likely not take place here in my lifetime. It seems like a lot (but not all) of people here do not really determine their own values, but are content to let others do so. The area is staunchly conservative...I don't think that in itself is a problem...the problem is in the sort of "yellow-dog" conservativism that exists here. I once thought of myself as a conservative because I was raised here and that is from birth pretty much what you are taught is absolutely right and anyone that is branded a liberal is excommunicated from any credibility or any chance to be right about anything. That sort of, what I will come out and say is closed-mindedness, creates a very shallow dynamic for discussing anything of any sort of importiance. I'm not a "left-wing nut" or a "liberal-extremist" but if I were to share the polictical views that I have fairly independently arrived upon (at least they are far more independent than many held here) I would quickly be branded as one and most people would not give any sort of creedence to anything I said beyond that.

This is not to say that everyone here is this way...or that all conservatives are this way (there are certianly a lot of open minded conservatives...they just happen to be more often found in other parts of the country)...but a good number are and the general atmosphere leans in the direction of shallowness and superficial beliefs that are not deeply held. Many people here are deeply religious, but the rest are shallowly so because you don't really want to stand out that much. The social norm is that you go to church, or at least appear as if you do so. Some grow up here and leave with a strong idealogical and worldview footing, but many others flounder when they leave (or if they stay). It's hard to defend your beliefs when you don't know why you believe what you do. Many young people here, even some friends of mine, struggle because they were never thought to think independently or to question things in order to have some understanding of what they say, do, think and claim to believe. I know that this happens to some degree everywhere, but it is an especially prevelent problem here.

Hold Up Watts

I've been thinking a lot about the Inner City lately. Particularly Watts and Compton, two areas in Los Angeles County that are very notorious for gangs and crime. I think about them because I have spent time in both. When I was in Watts I knew that it was one of the worst areas in the country for violent crime. I worked with a group that was putting on a one day sports camp for kids in the Nickerson Gardens housing project. I would later read that this project is the birthplace of the nortorious Bloods gang. The Crips were also born in Watts, which is an area in Southeast Los Angeles. It's described as "drive over country", because you drive over it on a freeway. Even my "street-smart" team members and I would avoid the area when returning to our house near downtown from working in Compton or Lynwood. It's a rough place to say the least. I talked to one resident of the Nickerson's describe how he had been shot at just a few nights before, and how he watched an LAPD squad car get fired upon as it drove though the neighborhood. The LAPD does not go to Watts, unless they absolutely have to. It is the closest thing to anarchy that I have personally witnessed. When the cops do venture there to answer a call, bad things happen. Just the other night a squad car was driving in Watts at 5 a.m...suddently a laser guided sight flashed though the car's interior and a bullet ripped though the hood of the car. The cop was unharmed but he was very lucky to be. Earlier this summer, not long after we vistied the Nickerson's, two L.A. cops sparked massive protests when they fired on a suspect and killed him, and his three year old daugher. In an environment that is no less tense than the one that led to the riots in 1992, one incident like that is enough for the entire city to be concerned.

This gang war-torn part of Southern California was in the news a lot this past week due to the excecution to alleged Crips co-founder Tookie Williams. He was convicted of very horrible crimes, crimes that even I think warrant the death penalty as a reprocussion (I only support the death penalty in the most extremely extreme cases)...however he maintains his innocence. Many people think that he is either innocent, or that at least he has found redemption. He has, from his cell at San Quentin, written several books designed to dissuade kids from joining gangs, he has been a vocal advocate against the gang violence he was once such an active player in. This man, even if he commited the crimes that he was convicted of, has done more for inner city kids in the past 20 years than the vast majority of people anywhere. Ironic isin't it. And honestly, in a case of minority inner city resident versus the justice system, I don't know who to believe because this past summer I heard a lot of things from the inner city minority point of view for the first time and that point of view radically altered my perception of a lot of things. Did Tookie deserve to die? I honestly don't know. I do know that the hundreds that die of gang violence every year shouldn't die. This shouldn't be happening. There is something at work there that is henious, and goes far beyond the simple explinations given in social and political circles when the topic of the inner city is on the table.

These kids in Watts, in Compton, anywhere in Inner City L.A...are kids...they are simply kids...that is all. Children. I watched them play that day in the Nickersons. They jumped around, played soccer, football, basketball (the teens and young adults could seriousl ball, unfortuntely they are only so many that can be good enough to escape the ghetto, and it is a ghetto, they're trapped), they joked around. One kid named James and his friend told me about their plan to take a road trip to Las Vegas when they were older. They said it with such hope, such expectation. However, that is about all the hope you'll find there. Most of them can't see past Watts, can't see past the bleak reality of daily gun fights, a constant stream of deaths of people that they know, constant fear...fear of the other gang, the other race, the police...all they know is the maze of drab apartment buildings beneath a steady stream of jumbo jets approching LAX full of people who have little knowledge of the brazen reality that swarms ten-thousand feet below them.

My friend Michael was shooting a basketball with a kid, about eight years of age, he asked him a normal question..."do you like it here?"

"No", he answered, "there are too many shootings here".

He is right, if an eight year old knows this, then there is something very wrong with a society that allows this to fester without lending a hand, anything, to this black hole that seems to absorb light, hope and innocence. It is not a hopeless situation, unless the status quo of sectarian society caring only about it's own class and social groups contenues to function as the norm. Until then...the people in Watts, both black and brown, will have to fend from themselves.

"You're good people," a visably nervious twenty-something mexican guy with knife scars on his face told me and three of the girls that I was working the sports camp with. "You shouldn't be here. Good people don't come to Watts."

"Somebody has to come here", we told him. We were there precisely because Watts needs good people...but more importiantly we reminded him that there were good people in Watts...not everyone is there to join gangs, deal drugs and shoot people. Some are just trying to survive. He cracked what vaguely resembed a smile. He was encouraged to an extent but said he could never be a good person in Watts. I understood where he was coming from. "Good" and "bad in the inner city are very different concepts than the good and bad that most of us are familar with. "Well you guys better be careful", he said, "they'll mess with you." He was probably right, but as nervious as that made me I kept up a good front. I had to. Fear like that is something that I just didn't know coming from a comfortable place like Central Texas.

We walked back to the park. I walked into the Nickerson Gym...a humble brick building at the corner of 114th and Compton. Without looking outside, if it wasn't for what I had heard (and seen) that day, it would have been easy to imagine being anywhere in the United States. It was a gym with a basketball court and kitchen. However, scanning the walls my eyes glanced over various photographs...one of which was a snapshot of the moment a truce was reached between the Crips and Bloods, the most notorious gang rivalry in America. That truce imploded this year. Watts is again at war. But for that moment there was hope. I went back outside...Michael and I decided to start a pick up soccer game with some of the kids. For the next hour or so, they could forget about shootings and gangs and poverty and the fathers that they never see, and concentrate on scoring goals. For that hour I also forgot about the fear manifest in my surroundings and found myself completely at peace in the middle of the Nickerson Garden's project in Watts. It was at that moment that I gained just a fraction of understanding of what this moment meant to the kids. The smile on my face, and the smiles on theirs as we played on that dusty field in an area that even cops are afraid to enter, was something that I did not expect. Those smiles, the innocence, the oasis of innocence in a place where innocence often dies a early death, struck me as something truly beautiful. A beauty so stark that it still makes me crack a tearful smile months later. It makes me wonder if evil exists simply to make good things that much more attractive and wonderful.

Dude, Where's My Journal?

The semester is over, and I, seeking a path down which to channel my seemingly unlimited free time, have gathered barely just enough motivation to make a post for the first time in, really, many weeks. I took my last final exam only 6 hours ago and now I still can't seem to grasp the fact that my semester is over and I will have to radically and quickly figure out something to do with the time that was only too recently occupied by studying.

I don't have any money. Can't do much about that as I have had about the worst financial luck that I could imagine this semester. I have decided not to write about the semester because really, it was tough at times and downright frustrating at others. There were many happy events that occured though. I will likely do some reflecting upon those.

I already find myself missing people that only left town today. I will be spending a good portion of the break in Temple with some of my best friends and family, trying to make the most out of my suddently more limited resources.

Can't Escape The Line of Best Fit

As far as the contenuing legendary saga of the road trip goes...it will be concluded soon. But I want to write about other less legendary things as well.

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So I'm here at Texas State...my life, despite all of the random challanges and circumstances, has been much happier lately. I'm seeing people...I've got a new job here in San Marcos and mabye another one that I'll also enjoy as well. However, a lot of things have been "getting to me"...one of them is being pretty much broke for now. My computer is also broke, after it fell out of my bag and onto the driveway in a dramatic fashion.

I just need to learn to be more content with my situation reguardless of what it is.

One thing that I do have is relashonships with some really awesome people. Last night I spent time with several of them at Sewell Park...but I am also bogged down with countless projects and tests for school, as well as some long term things that I am not getting done but need to.