Accountability

I look at my life and I see a number of patterns in my daily life that are problems. They are problems and areas of sin that I either try to fix on my own (and eventually give up on) or I just lament them or ignore them without doing anything about them.

Of course I cannot use the lack of accountability that I have in almost every area of my life as an excuse, but I really could use some. From spending time and focusing on God, to my thought life, to my (internal) attitude towards others...I have many areas of my life that are huge problems, but I do a really good job of hiding them from others. There are more of course, I have issues that I haven't admitted to anyone but I really need to talk to people about these things. In my case, I do a very good job of convincing myself that I can solve these things on my own, which inevitably leads me to just tuck them away and not let them get "in the way" of my daily life.

This of course is an unhealthy way to live. I know this, but I rarely take the iniative to do anything about it. I often complain that I no longer have the web of acountability that I once enjoyed when I lived in Temple, but I rarely do anything to build a new one here in Austin/San Marcos. So, if you're reading this, you probably know me and the me that you know is a fortified image that is rarely vulnerable (but inside is dealing with many vulnerabilites). I understand that the lack of accountability in my life stems from my own lack of iniative...but I want you all to know that I really want it, need it, and am praying for it. So please, if you know me, feel free to ask me about any vulnerable subject. I won't be upset, I'll be overjoyed. I'll try to seek it out, but honestly that's just another thing that I can try on my own with fruitless results. I really need encouragement and help, I'm not as spiritually strong as I try to seem. I've only been a Christian for 3 years and 8 months. I'm spiritually immature and I have an incredible amount of growing to do.

So yea, basically this is a shamless plea for help in this area. I need accountability. I'm very weak willed when I don't have some one to kick me in my proverbial spiritual pants.

- Jordan