I’ve come to the conclusion that I really do not like the month of February. It’s hard to spell, school is dragging on but it’s too early to think about Spring Break, the weather usually sucks (by Texas standards), there are practically no good shows going on even in Austin (the calm before the storm of music that is South by Southwest), things are slower than usual at work, not a lot of people seem very happy. Stuff like that is why I just don’t see much to like about this month. One bright spot is the birthday of Derek Eacho, but there’s not too much else to cheer about...like the full cup of coffee that I just spilled all over the (fortunetly) coffee colored carpet at Mocha's and Java's. Good times? Not really. But what I really need to do is make the best of it.
Work, school, work, school, work, school. Thank God for relationships. They really save life from being extremely dull. Family, friends, and (allthough I don't often prioritize correctly) most importiantly, God. Where would I be without relationships? That thought is what drives me to cherish them and value them highly. That is why I put so much time and effort into building them. Of course, I seem to value close relationships greatly and more distiant relationships not nearly as highly. I seem to prefer a small close group of really good friends to a larger group of not so close friends. When I look at friendships I see them on different levels...of course this holds me back when I'm in a new group or meeting a new person.
Of course it's nothing personal, at least I don't intend it to be. I just seem to have a sense (that is usually proven right) when I am first getting to know a person of how good of friends I will end up being with that person. With almost all of my good friends in Austin, San Marcos or Temple, I knew within just a few minutes of knowing them that I would eventually be good friends with them. There have been (see post on negitivity) however, a few friendships that defied that. My intuition was proven wrong, usually because of a certian unfair bias that I mentally had. Sometimes I wonder if this "intuitive sense" is merely a self-fullfilling prophecy, mabye I have great potential friendships that I just torpedo because I think that they're not going to work. I often wonder if I do this when it comes to potential relashonships with girls. I see certian girls that I could have potential feelings for, but I always seem to find some reason not to take the iniative to...well, iniate.
But the whole girl topic is for another post. I have a hard time addressing it or thinking about it.
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