Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Blogs are Overrated

It's true, blogs are overrated. That doesn't keep me from writing in mine, however "blog" is such a trendy media buzzword now that I'm thinking of just calling mine a "journal", or a "sphere of textualization invloving mental cognitations and permutations of scattered thought". On second thought, I'll just stick with journal.

The media worships those involved in the "blogosphere"...because they have a voice and can add to the collective fray of daily hot air concerning politics, social issues, or why they are pissed off at how so many people are obsessed with Paris Hilton. ABC News went so far as to declare "bloggers" as their person(s)/people of the Year. In light of that, I'm going to recreate what I notice the average blogger, a ninth grade student, does to contribute to the national discussion:

...

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Wed. May 04

Man school rocked today. I skipped class twice and went out with some friends to Taco C and got sum chips and kayso. i hate school it's boring and the teachers are all ghey. i think i'm going to skipp all of my classess until a graduate.

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fri. May 06

I HATE MY PARENTS I WISH THEY WOULD DIE!!!!11 I JUST WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH MY FRIENDS AND HAVE SOME BEER AND THEY WONT LET ME GO OUT BEAUSE IM GROUNDED!!! I CANT WAIT TO GET OUT OF HERE AND BE IN COLLEGE AND I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT!!!1

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Sun. May 08

Sometimes broken hearts are the most painful broken things of all.

i miss you kelli

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Mon. May 09

There's something about the sun that reminds me of being happy

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Mon May 09

i realli like this song by the USED.

You almost always pick the best times
To drop the worst lines
You almost made me cry again this time
Another false alarm
Red flashing lights
Well this time I'm not going to watch myself die
I think I made it a game to play your game
And let myself cry
I buried myself alive on the inside
So I could shut you out
And let you go away for a long time

(Chorus)
I guess it's okay I puked the day away
I guess it's better you trapped yourself in your own way
And if you want me back
You're gonna have to ask


I think the chain broke away
And I felt it the day that I had my own time.
I took advantage of myself and felt fine
But it was worth the night
I caught an early flight and I made it home

(Repeat Chorus)
Nicer than that (2x)

With my foot on your neck
I finally have you
Right where I want you (4x)

(repeat chorus)
Nicer than that

I guess it's okay I puked the day away. (Nicer than that)
I guess it's better you trapped yourself in your own way.(Nicer then that)
And if you want me back,
You're gonna have to ask
Nicer than that
Nicer!
Nicer!

man songs so good. exactly how i feel right now

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Thurs. May 12

i got a job 2day at teh pretzel store in the mall. i like pretzels and i hop e i get to Eat a lot of them when i work. Well, i'm out...later.

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Sun. May 15

I HATE PRETZELS






...Sorry to subject you to that, but that is, as far as I can tell, a close (yet fictional) example of the typical blog entry.

3 comments:

MW Rice said...

i thought that was pretty damn funny. nice work!

Jordan_Ryan_Stewart said...

Thanks.:)

pgepps said...

I am amused. I don't think the national news elites are so much "flavor of the week" fans of blogs, though, as they are "me-too" ride-alongs.

It's like the textbook I used in teaching freshman comp, where the authors (two old guys) included an exercise where Marilyn Manson, Madonna, and the Spice Girls were all used as if they were current pop.

It's so sad when aging boomers (and their institutions) try to act all hip for the kiddies.

Cheers,
PGE