First EV Free

I had, today, the most disparity of emotions and experiences so far this week. I was in a substantially better mood, not waking up to a parking ticket again helped that significantly. J.C. continued to feel sick so he took a leave of absence for the first half of the day as the rest of J-Town drove to the church. We had a great morning, laughing, talking and getting much accomplished. It was one of the best working days that I’ve had on project. J.C. was not feeling better when I called him after lunch but he wanted to join us anyway. The man has a great deal of fortitude. Jessica and I had just returned from going first to a 99 cent store, and then to Ralph’s to get everything that we could not find at the previous store for the afternoon. I returned with J.C. to the project site and things continued to go well until the kids arrived.
Now, perhaps one of my worst moments on project was happening. I was again in charge of the games…but because of the way the rules for today’s assigned game were written, I had a difficult time figuring out how to describe them to the kids. Now, I was surrounded by a dozen or so of the fourth and fifth graders looking expectantly…and I was forced to turn to their “family group” leader to take over because I just could not figure out how to communicate to them so that they could learn the game. Frustrating, it was very very frustrating. I don’t have problems communicating with kids; I learned that at the previous site. However, when it comes to teaching younger kids things, I just have a long way to figure that out. I fared even worse with the younger kids. I wanted to just bolt out of there…I know the kids didn’t notice, but I was embarrassed and felt like a failure because I, despite my intelligence and relative maturity, could not communicate simple ideas because of who knows what.
After a few long hours (really just 45 minutes) of that, it was time for the family groups to meet before the final rally for the day. I could not have been happier; However, I was still too disappointed in myself to really be involved. I know I need to trust God more to help me where I lack but I am having a difficult time with that right now. The other J-town guys were really encouraging which helped put things into perspective, but I still felt disappointed and apprehensive about my role in the project in general. Sometimes I catch myself almost believing that the only contribution I can make to the project is driving people around, running errands and giving people directions. I know, I really really know that is not the case, but still I catch myself believing that. I struggle just like others struggle, but when I am not trusting God, when I am trusting in myself as I have today, those struggles seem to become magnified.
The day was definitely not a total loss. I rebounded quickly from the afternoon. I really bonded with my team mates…especially Jacklyn, which was definitely cool, she is one of the most genuine girls that I have ever met and I’m definitely glad she is on my team. Jen, Jessica and J.C. are all solid too…I have been blessed with an amazing team.
Dinner was excellent. Pastor Faye made good on her orientation week promise to come over and feed us “soul food”…barbeque chicken, some awesome cheesy mac stuff, and cornbread. Good times…I really dug into the cheesy mac. Following dinner we went on the long awaited trip to the now project famed glow in the dark miniature golf place near Marina Del Rey. The place was an absolute blast, the only issue was my frustration when we were trying to determine who was going and in which car…other case of the drivers having to basically parent other members of the project. I need to learn not to take it so personally though. I rode with three J-town people and Mike…I was temporarily frustrated with Mike for being spacey when we were leaving but quickly snapped out of it on the drive there, he and I get along extremely well so it is hard to stay mad at someone like him for anything. We in particular had a good time at the golf place…the trip was actually our idea. Miniature golf is fun enough on its own, but this place had absolutely ridiculous decorative stuff on the inside, it was amazing, mushrooms and monkeys and stuff like that. I took a few dozen pictures and most of us (12 in all) spent most of our time between holes dancing to the very danceable music on the speakers. A few of us considered abandoning the game around the 15th hole to just focus on rocking out but we decided to finish. Mike was hilarious, he looked straight out of the seventies…there he found a hat that totally matched his tie dyed shirt, which he wore along with, I’m not kidding, women’s bell bottom jeans. It’s extremely ironic when he reminds people that he is really conservative politically. You’re probably just as likely to see George W. Bush do drugs in college…
Late night on the lawn, Mike and Jen borrowed a laptop and are currently watching Van Helsing in front of the house…not my kind of movie, but I joined them for a while to hang out and talk while starting up at the palm trees above us and admiring the eight or so visible stars…which, I have to point out, I now find myself referring to as a “lot” of stars…one month in L.A. has really changed my perspective on a lot of simple things like that…I wonder what another month will do but I’m excited at the possibilities.