I Think I've Contracted Avian Bird Flu

That or I need to use the bathroom.

Apparently our nation cannot survive without an apocalypse looming on the horizon. I would like to think that people would be content to think that the world is not about to end, but observation proves otherwise. The latest apocalypse revolves around a strain of avian bird flu mutating and being spread somehow by humans creating something called a "pandemic".

I'm not exactly sure what a pandemic is...but it sounds delicious. It sounds like a clinic where you learn to make bread...not just any bread, but medical bread with great medicinal properties.

Perhaps this bread will be the next cure for the next apocalypse. Y2K had generators and non-perishable food. For every dirty bomb threat there is a roll of duct tape. Gas is supposed to hit $8 a gallon or something in the next month leading to the collapse of the American lifestyle. Now, in the face of this grave and almost certianly apocalyptic pandemic...we have medical bread that is laced with stuff that is probably a cure, or at least something that will help us pass the time while we're dying. Corporations could market this bread, with an ad campagin declaring that if people do not purchase the special bread they will be killed by falling planes and civil unrest after the power goes out.