I am coming to terms with the fact that some (a lot of) people think very differently than me and always will. As such, I have decided I will probably never understand the following:
- Why some people stay inside when they're not working and don't have much else to do and it's a really nice day
- Why some people playing video games all of the time instead of having a consistent social life or passing their classes
- Why some value nothing over how much money they make or will make someday
- Why some never question why the believe what they believe, or vote the way they do (if they vote)
- Why some don't think voting is at all important
- Why girls often date douchebags and shy away from guys who would actually treat them like a human being (same goes for some guys with girls I guess)
- Why dude-bros and others think driving a big truck enlarges their manhood in anyway
- Dude-bros in general
- Why some people flat out hate the environment, and any policy that preserves any part of it
- The idiots who think Barack Obama is somehow a Muslim
- Racism in general
- Why so many people "only watch Fox News". I'm a liberal and I don't just watch MSNBC. Sometimes I even check out what extreme-right wing thing that Fox News is saying.
- Why some refuse to read things that they think they will disagree with. "The sign of an educated mind is the ability to entertain a thought without accepting it."
- The general anti-intellectualism that is holding sway over a good part of the electorate (especially the modern GOP - For example, see: "Sarah Palin was qualified to be President")
- Why Fall Out Boy is so popular...I really don't understand it
- Why some would rather eat at IHOP than Kerbey Lane or Magnolia Cafe
- Why some don't see the importance of supporting the few local businesses we have left in any given city (it's a suburban mentality, but I didn't really grow up in the suburbs)
- Those who lack a sense of humor in most areas
- Street racing (killed one of my best friends who was innocent, an ultimate form of narcissism)
- People who don't understand why the "N-word" is offensive to a lot of people, or don't understand the history of civil rights and racism in the U.S. in general. See also: people who refuse to admit the Civil War was primarily about slavery so as to feel better about thinking that the South was "okay". See also: people who don't see why so many people are offended by the confederate flag, or think that it should still be flown over capital buildings in places like South Carolina
- People (especially who aren't from Central Texas) that think Texas is way better than any other place in the U.S. I like to think that this part of Texas is better than most places, but is Houston better than San Diego? Or Amarillo a better place to live than Portland or the Colorado Rockies? Let's be realistic...
- People who enjoy Mexican food, driving on freeways or living in a new house, and then complain about the immigrants that made them.
- Interior state (mainly Republican) politicians like Tom Tancredo and Mitt Romney who think they know more about the border than people in TX, CA, NM and AZ.
- Why some people think onions taste good. I can't imagine the idea of onions tasting like anything other than rocky dirt soaked in urine.
- Aggies, anything about Aggies, Aggie traditions, pretty much anything about Texas A&M - Believe me, I know a lot about that place and the way it is, but to this day I still don't see the appeal.
- Why some don't understand why driving slower in the left lane of the freeway is a bad idea (for your safety, and the 50 or so cars bunching up behind the semi that you're not passing)
- How some people can believe that being poor (even in the U.S.) is somehow always a choice and that everyone is born with an equal chance to be rich (which involves equal education opportunities, but who really believes a kid in Southlake and a kid in South Dallas have an equal start?) everyone who is poor is lazy and chooses to be. It's just flat out wrong and untrue. See also: The belief that no one on welfare has a job (often they have two or three and are supporting their kids alone).
- The use of a single weather event (a hurricane, a blizzard in north Texas or a heat wave in Seattle) as evidence for or against long-term Climate change (most Global warming detractors and people like Al Gore are guilty of this). Seriously...
- The propensity for so many to believe anything the read or see on the internet
- People who move to Central Austin and complain about noise from live music venues
- How anyone that's not a vegetarian could not like In-N-Out burgers
- Oklahoma...I just don't get it
Monday, January 26, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
To Find Someone You Love, You've Got To Be Someone You Love
I thing I learned things today, well at least I had euphonious moments today were I realized some things. It's usually stuff I already new, but either I forget about it or I decide it's not important (even if it really actually is) and then forget about it (at least temporarily).
On Jealousy
Jealousy is an awful thing. Everyone deals with it at some level. Everyone envies something. So much of the greed that rots our society (and politics) simply emanates from basic forms for envy and jealousy. I have so much in my life that I am blessed with that I know a lot of people could be jealous of...in spite of that, I deal with jealousy of things I don't have that I percieve would make my life more complete (of course, this perception is hardly reality but when in a self-absorbed state of mind it's easy to bend reality to fit with what you think you need).
When it comes to falling for the jealousy trap, which is something that can rob you of even a basic appreciation for what one has to be thankful for, there are several pitfalls that I experience. A natural one for me (and probably the most significant) is with girls and relationships. I'm not the type to be "the jealous type" in a relationship...I would want a girlfriend/wife/whatever to have other friends and have a life outside of just me. The jealousy I'm talking about is an extreme jealousy of people who are currently in successful relationships. This is not a malicious jealousy...if a friend or someone I care about is in a good relationship I want that to flourish because I want the best for that friend, which also means in the case of a bad relationship I'll be honest about how I see it, but not to the point where I would sabotage anything. In my life I have been solicited by my closest friends for relationship advice and given some surprisingly good advice that in many cases was in retrospect proven to be the right call. This, however, doesn't mean that I myself know much about what to do with my own life because my track record of starting and maintaining anything resembling a romantic relationship with someone is at best disappointing, and at worst abysmal (I see it as one or the other, depending on how good I am feeling about myself at the time).
I'm not the "jealous type" as a boyfriend, I know that for sure. I will always want my girlfriend/wife/whatever to have other friends and a life outside of just me (although of course I would want them to be as faithful to me as I would be to her). But, my lack of success (at least as society would define it) in relationships has led to the development (over year after year) of an often intense jealousy toward people in relationships (even if that relationship has obvious problems). I often feel this so strongly that it's hard to be around couples who are showing any kind of affection for each other. In fact, I have realized that this is a bigger issue for me than I originally thought. I've recognized that I get jealous feelings towards other people around me when they are simply getting attention from a cute girl, whether or not that attention is romantic in nature, or even regardless of whether I am attracted to that girl or interested in her. I feel that this is a significant problem not only to my prospects of finding someone to fully share my life with, but also with my relationships with friends or with girls that are my friends.
With this in mind, I should point out that it's difficult for me to be more than acquaintances with girls that are in a relationship with another dude. For one thing, I might be jealous. Or, I would not want to do anything that would undermine that relationship (even if I'm jealous of it). I think that due to the limited amount of time that I've spent in relationships, I have a hard time being close friends to a girl that I have things in common with or get along with without feeling romantically attracted to them at some point. It happens a lot of times (with a few notable exceptions). But, self-confidence issues and fear keep me from pursuing anything further, or worse, that girl finds someone else to be with. Or, I find out that they're with someone after starting to have feelings for them. That's the worst. Both guys and girls should be up front with friends of the opposite sex about their relationship status. It may seem like an awkward thing to talk about up front but it's far less awkward than the alternative...trust me.
My jealousy is rooted in the fear that I will never find someone to share my life with. That would be tragic. I feel that I would be a really good boyfriend etc...although I'm not perfect. No one is. That shouldn't be a standard. People are so caught up looking for the "right" guy or girl that they may simply be waiting for someone that really doesn't exist. That said, I'm not attracted to every girl I meet, and that usually has a lot more to do with personality than anything else. I may not believe in perfect matches...but everyone does have a type. I hope I am someone's type. I feel that I'm kind of a rare personality...it's hard to define or explain. Kind of like if you need a blood transplant, but have a rare blood type, it may take longer to find a match and there's a greater risk (it would seem) that you won't find another person with that match at all.
On Jealousy
Jealousy is an awful thing. Everyone deals with it at some level. Everyone envies something. So much of the greed that rots our society (and politics) simply emanates from basic forms for envy and jealousy. I have so much in my life that I am blessed with that I know a lot of people could be jealous of...in spite of that, I deal with jealousy of things I don't have that I percieve would make my life more complete (of course, this perception is hardly reality but when in a self-absorbed state of mind it's easy to bend reality to fit with what you think you need).
When it comes to falling for the jealousy trap, which is something that can rob you of even a basic appreciation for what one has to be thankful for, there are several pitfalls that I experience. A natural one for me (and probably the most significant) is with girls and relationships. I'm not the type to be "the jealous type" in a relationship...I would want a girlfriend/wife/whatever to have other friends and have a life outside of just me. The jealousy I'm talking about is an extreme jealousy of people who are currently in successful relationships. This is not a malicious jealousy...if a friend or someone I care about is in a good relationship I want that to flourish because I want the best for that friend, which also means in the case of a bad relationship I'll be honest about how I see it, but not to the point where I would sabotage anything. In my life I have been solicited by my closest friends for relationship advice and given some surprisingly good advice that in many cases was in retrospect proven to be the right call. This, however, doesn't mean that I myself know much about what to do with my own life because my track record of starting and maintaining anything resembling a romantic relationship with someone is at best disappointing, and at worst abysmal (I see it as one or the other, depending on how good I am feeling about myself at the time).
I'm not the "jealous type" as a boyfriend, I know that for sure. I will always want my girlfriend/wife/whatever to have other friends and a life outside of just me (although of course I would want them to be as faithful to me as I would be to her). But, my lack of success (at least as society would define it) in relationships has led to the development (over year after year) of an often intense jealousy toward people in relationships (even if that relationship has obvious problems). I often feel this so strongly that it's hard to be around couples who are showing any kind of affection for each other. In fact, I have realized that this is a bigger issue for me than I originally thought. I've recognized that I get jealous feelings towards other people around me when they are simply getting attention from a cute girl, whether or not that attention is romantic in nature, or even regardless of whether I am attracted to that girl or interested in her. I feel that this is a significant problem not only to my prospects of finding someone to fully share my life with, but also with my relationships with friends or with girls that are my friends.
With this in mind, I should point out that it's difficult for me to be more than acquaintances with girls that are in a relationship with another dude. For one thing, I might be jealous. Or, I would not want to do anything that would undermine that relationship (even if I'm jealous of it). I think that due to the limited amount of time that I've spent in relationships, I have a hard time being close friends to a girl that I have things in common with or get along with without feeling romantically attracted to them at some point. It happens a lot of times (with a few notable exceptions). But, self-confidence issues and fear keep me from pursuing anything further, or worse, that girl finds someone else to be with. Or, I find out that they're with someone after starting to have feelings for them. That's the worst. Both guys and girls should be up front with friends of the opposite sex about their relationship status. It may seem like an awkward thing to talk about up front but it's far less awkward than the alternative...trust me.
My jealousy is rooted in the fear that I will never find someone to share my life with. That would be tragic. I feel that I would be a really good boyfriend etc...although I'm not perfect. No one is. That shouldn't be a standard. People are so caught up looking for the "right" guy or girl that they may simply be waiting for someone that really doesn't exist. That said, I'm not attracted to every girl I meet, and that usually has a lot more to do with personality than anything else. I may not believe in perfect matches...but everyone does have a type. I hope I am someone's type. I feel that I'm kind of a rare personality...it's hard to define or explain. Kind of like if you need a blood transplant, but have a rare blood type, it may take longer to find a match and there's a greater risk (it would seem) that you won't find another person with that match at all.
Monday, January 12, 2009
He's Moving Now to a Different Beat
The title of this note is the last sentence I heard before the cops arrived.
This past week was amazing. My birthday was incredible. Here's how it went:
I took the day off work and just hung around San Marcos with my best friends/neighbors. It was 72 degrees, sunny with no humidity...just how I would want the weather to be on my birthday. About 5 p.m. we went to the Taproom...Brett got my dinner and everyone else got everything else. Brett handed me a square piece of paper on which was handwritten: "Spurs vs. Rockets admit 1". The dudes read my mind...I had been talking about going to see the Spurs play another Western rival for weeks...a group of us are going to go and the other guys paid for my ticket. It was a really great surprise. Almost 20 people...all of whom are my friends...appeared at the Taproom (which is one of my favorite spots on Planet Earth, at least the spots that I've been too, which I'll mention in a later note about my favorite spots on Planet Earth)...that shouldn't have surprised me but it did. The level to which everyone was nice to me on my birthday still has me in awe days later. All day, Brett had been mentioning that he and the other guys in Zlam Dunk (almost all of whom were at the Taproom, minus Ross and Tim who were going to come down later when they could) had to go into Austin to meet with their manager at Chuy's (which made sense because they had met him there for the first time) and talk about the upcoming EP and such. This plan had been mentioned to me a few times throughout the day and in phone conversations Brett had with his bandmates. So I fully believed that they were headed to Austin but they promised they would be back as soon as the meeting was over. Things were wrapping up at the Taproom as Walch bought a round for anyone interested (which couldn't have been cheap and was much appreciated).
I got the waitresses attention so that she could get the bill so the 5/7ths of Zlam Dunk that were there would have time to make it to Austin. As everyone left, Baker and Walch said we should go around the corner to another place and I went along not thinking much of it. I knew that the party would eventually move to his place ("White Castle") and that we would be over there afterward as well and that most of the crowd would go there early. This made some sort of surprise seem inevitable but I didn't know what was up so I didn't think about it and figured that the surprise would be better that way. I was give an hour of free (for myself) distraction at the Showdown with Baker, Walch, Zach and Ben...Zach and I teamed up to beat Baker and Ben at pool. After an hour...Baker drove me over to his place.
I was a little nervous at this point as to what the surprise would be. I had an idea that perhaps Zlam was going to do something for me later that night, just a hunch, but they were probably just now driving back from Austin. We pulled up to the White Castle on M.L.K...we parked...there were a couple people out front but Baker said to go to the backyard. So I did...and there was everyone...the first person I noticed that wasn't at Taproom was Garrett so I greeted him appropriately (with some serious bro-grabs). But the first thing I noticed was a band set up with a p.a. and instruments and drums and everyone. It was freakin' Zlam Dunk. I couldn't figure out how they had gotten back from Austin in time to do all of the work and play a show...later I would ask if they had actually gone to Austin. The answer was no...but Brett had done such a good job of making me think that they had that I was really confused (but happy) at this point. Coolest surprise of my life.
Certain thoughts went through my head:
'I can't believe they're doing this for me'.
'How did they get back from Austin in time to do this'.
'This is a lot of work just to do this for me'.
'We're outside and it's night on a weekday and we're in a very quiet residential neighborhood, so the cops will probably be here in 15 minutes'.
It took a couple of minutes into the first song (Patrick, the new one that's really good) for me to settle down and just enjoy it but I was able too. Then they went into Vice...I was still almost in too much surprised shock...but I was enjoying every second because I seriously couldn't believe that I had this many friends who cared about me this much. Well, I knew that I did, and now that knowledge was being validated in the best possible way. After the bridge I was ready to jump into the middle of those dudes and go nuts for the final part of the song...but before I did I looked over and saw two San Marcos police officers talking to a couple of my friends outside the backyard. 'That was fun but the show's over and I'm not surprised but whatever...' was my basic thought process. I tapped Charlie on the shoulder and after about ten seconds the music came to a halt like a boulder finally resting after an avalanche.
I stood around with the guys and our friends waiting a little anxiously to see if a ticket would be issued. Chachi came back and told us that it was just going to be a warning. Everyone was a little miffed that the show was stopped so fast but I tried to make sure everyone knew that I wasn't surprised by that, but that I was very much surprised at the surprise show and how promptly it happened. Taylor gathered some of the dudes around and broke into a cool sounding acoustic version of "Feet on Fire"...but that was stopped short due to nervousness that the cops would come back and transform the warning into a noise violation ticket. I tried to communicate as much as possible that they cool part was that they simply put so much time and effort into setting the whole thing up.
The rest of the night was almost as magical. Hanging out...a trip to Taco C before a drive out to Devil's Backbone (my idea, kind of off the cuff) to hang out and look at the stars and stuff. I used to go out there with friends at night sometimes, but hadn't in quite a while. I'm really thankful to have lived that day...it wasn't far off from how I would imagine heaven to be. Me, my friends, and one of the best and most caring and loving displays I have ever received from them.
Thanks to anyone that was there and especially thanks to everyone who was involved and double especially thanks to Brett (for being awesome at pulling off a surprise and for the Spurs ticket idea) and Baker for being the MVP of the pre-show part of the night and too all of the guys in Zlam and to everyone that helped them transport and load their stuff so that they could have a show in a backyard. And also thanks to SMPD for responding to their calls so fast, but for also being understanding enough not to ticket White Castle. Considering the circumstances and geography of the event, things could not have gone better. It was the birthday that I have always wanted to have. There's so much that happened that I could write about, and that I will definitely remember after many more birthdays have passed. It was, for lack of a better word (there really isn't a better word), totally gnarly.
- Jordan
This past week was amazing. My birthday was incredible. Here's how it went:
I took the day off work and just hung around San Marcos with my best friends/neighbors. It was 72 degrees, sunny with no humidity...just how I would want the weather to be on my birthday. About 5 p.m. we went to the Taproom...Brett got my dinner and everyone else got everything else. Brett handed me a square piece of paper on which was handwritten: "Spurs vs. Rockets admit 1". The dudes read my mind...I had been talking about going to see the Spurs play another Western rival for weeks...a group of us are going to go and the other guys paid for my ticket. It was a really great surprise. Almost 20 people...all of whom are my friends...appeared at the Taproom (which is one of my favorite spots on Planet Earth, at least the spots that I've been too, which I'll mention in a later note about my favorite spots on Planet Earth)...that shouldn't have surprised me but it did. The level to which everyone was nice to me on my birthday still has me in awe days later. All day, Brett had been mentioning that he and the other guys in Zlam Dunk (almost all of whom were at the Taproom, minus Ross and Tim who were going to come down later when they could) had to go into Austin to meet with their manager at Chuy's (which made sense because they had met him there for the first time) and talk about the upcoming EP and such. This plan had been mentioned to me a few times throughout the day and in phone conversations Brett had with his bandmates. So I fully believed that they were headed to Austin but they promised they would be back as soon as the meeting was over. Things were wrapping up at the Taproom as Walch bought a round for anyone interested (which couldn't have been cheap and was much appreciated).
I got the waitresses attention so that she could get the bill so the 5/7ths of Zlam Dunk that were there would have time to make it to Austin. As everyone left, Baker and Walch said we should go around the corner to another place and I went along not thinking much of it. I knew that the party would eventually move to his place ("White Castle") and that we would be over there afterward as well and that most of the crowd would go there early. This made some sort of surprise seem inevitable but I didn't know what was up so I didn't think about it and figured that the surprise would be better that way. I was give an hour of free (for myself) distraction at the Showdown with Baker, Walch, Zach and Ben...Zach and I teamed up to beat Baker and Ben at pool. After an hour...Baker drove me over to his place.
I was a little nervous at this point as to what the surprise would be. I had an idea that perhaps Zlam was going to do something for me later that night, just a hunch, but they were probably just now driving back from Austin. We pulled up to the White Castle on M.L.K...we parked...there were a couple people out front but Baker said to go to the backyard. So I did...and there was everyone...the first person I noticed that wasn't at Taproom was Garrett so I greeted him appropriately (with some serious bro-grabs). But the first thing I noticed was a band set up with a p.a. and instruments and drums and everyone. It was freakin' Zlam Dunk. I couldn't figure out how they had gotten back from Austin in time to do all of the work and play a show...later I would ask if they had actually gone to Austin. The answer was no...but Brett had done such a good job of making me think that they had that I was really confused (but happy) at this point. Coolest surprise of my life.
Certain thoughts went through my head:
'I can't believe they're doing this for me'.
'How did they get back from Austin in time to do this'.
'This is a lot of work just to do this for me'.
'We're outside and it's night on a weekday and we're in a very quiet residential neighborhood, so the cops will probably be here in 15 minutes'.
It took a couple of minutes into the first song (Patrick, the new one that's really good) for me to settle down and just enjoy it but I was able too. Then they went into Vice...I was still almost in too much surprised shock...but I was enjoying every second because I seriously couldn't believe that I had this many friends who cared about me this much. Well, I knew that I did, and now that knowledge was being validated in the best possible way. After the bridge I was ready to jump into the middle of those dudes and go nuts for the final part of the song...but before I did I looked over and saw two San Marcos police officers talking to a couple of my friends outside the backyard. 'That was fun but the show's over and I'm not surprised but whatever...' was my basic thought process. I tapped Charlie on the shoulder and after about ten seconds the music came to a halt like a boulder finally resting after an avalanche.
I stood around with the guys and our friends waiting a little anxiously to see if a ticket would be issued. Chachi came back and told us that it was just going to be a warning. Everyone was a little miffed that the show was stopped so fast but I tried to make sure everyone knew that I wasn't surprised by that, but that I was very much surprised at the surprise show and how promptly it happened. Taylor gathered some of the dudes around and broke into a cool sounding acoustic version of "Feet on Fire"...but that was stopped short due to nervousness that the cops would come back and transform the warning into a noise violation ticket. I tried to communicate as much as possible that they cool part was that they simply put so much time and effort into setting the whole thing up.
The rest of the night was almost as magical. Hanging out...a trip to Taco C before a drive out to Devil's Backbone (my idea, kind of off the cuff) to hang out and look at the stars and stuff. I used to go out there with friends at night sometimes, but hadn't in quite a while. I'm really thankful to have lived that day...it wasn't far off from how I would imagine heaven to be. Me, my friends, and one of the best and most caring and loving displays I have ever received from them.
Thanks to anyone that was there and especially thanks to everyone who was involved and double especially thanks to Brett (for being awesome at pulling off a surprise and for the Spurs ticket idea) and Baker for being the MVP of the pre-show part of the night and too all of the guys in Zlam and to everyone that helped them transport and load their stuff so that they could have a show in a backyard. And also thanks to SMPD for responding to their calls so fast, but for also being understanding enough not to ticket White Castle. Considering the circumstances and geography of the event, things could not have gone better. It was the birthday that I have always wanted to have. There's so much that happened that I could write about, and that I will definitely remember after many more birthdays have passed. It was, for lack of a better word (there really isn't a better word), totally gnarly.
- Jordan
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
I Can't Hear with these Clouds in My Ears
Jan 5.
Back early from what I thought was going to be an extended road trip, I went back into work. The office was quieter than usual but pretty relaxed as well so I didn't mind and was fairly productive. I will have to be more productive in other areas of life very soon but for the moment I am enjoying a time of intense relaxation. 2009 so far has been quite a good year. The weather is cooler than normal (still can't complain) and it was cloudy today but it didn't rain (as usual). The absence of rainfall (it's been months since we've had more than a few hundredths of an inch in a single day) is making allergies and stuff like that more prevalent and I'm noticing it for sure. Tomorrow the sun is back and it should be sunny and 70 degrees on my birthday (Wednesday)...perfect.
Jon Z. called me...I need to call that dude back. It's 3 a.m. there so I'm going to wait until tomorrow.
My first resolution for the new year was simple, write something every day...so here it is.
The second is to stop needlessly (and annoyingly) apologize for things that I don't need to apologize for (mainly out of insecurity)...so far so good on that as well. If I ever do anything that actually needs apologizing for, then I'll act accordingly...but most of the time when I've said "I'm sorry"...it's usually out of insecurity and to make sure that people like me as much as possible and don't think I'm a jerk...but this has been a deluded state of mind because really it's all about me and not about the person I'm supposedly apologizing to for something that may or may not be bad, or may or may not be my fault.
I'm glad that so many of my friends that are students have jobs in San Marcos that require them to be here during some of the break. It's so nice to have people around while this town is in a state of pure-mellowness. It's a mellow enough place with people here...but without so many people it's almost perfect. I'm just going to appreciate that for what it is, and when the hustle and bustle of the semester begins...I'll hopefully appreciate that as well.
I hope this note finds you doing well. Take time to appreciate the things you have...I go too long sometimes without doing that myself and it's not healthy.
Also...This Will Destroy You's self-titled album was my favorite album of 2008. The fact that they are actually from San Marcos happens to be a bonus...and I think the experiences I've had while listening to that album, and the landscapes that I've passed (either around Austin/San Marcos, or in West Texas, or even in Germany...where it simply reminded me of Texas) while listening to it have made it even better. But it's a great album even if you listened to it while never leaving your room for your whole life. It's like poetry without words. I don't know how they've pulled off what they have done with this album...but they've pulled it off.
Peace and such,
- Jordan
Back early from what I thought was going to be an extended road trip, I went back into work. The office was quieter than usual but pretty relaxed as well so I didn't mind and was fairly productive. I will have to be more productive in other areas of life very soon but for the moment I am enjoying a time of intense relaxation. 2009 so far has been quite a good year. The weather is cooler than normal (still can't complain) and it was cloudy today but it didn't rain (as usual). The absence of rainfall (it's been months since we've had more than a few hundredths of an inch in a single day) is making allergies and stuff like that more prevalent and I'm noticing it for sure. Tomorrow the sun is back and it should be sunny and 70 degrees on my birthday (Wednesday)...perfect.
Jon Z. called me...I need to call that dude back. It's 3 a.m. there so I'm going to wait until tomorrow.
My first resolution for the new year was simple, write something every day...so here it is.
The second is to stop needlessly (and annoyingly) apologize for things that I don't need to apologize for (mainly out of insecurity)...so far so good on that as well. If I ever do anything that actually needs apologizing for, then I'll act accordingly...but most of the time when I've said "I'm sorry"...it's usually out of insecurity and to make sure that people like me as much as possible and don't think I'm a jerk...but this has been a deluded state of mind because really it's all about me and not about the person I'm supposedly apologizing to for something that may or may not be bad, or may or may not be my fault.
I'm glad that so many of my friends that are students have jobs in San Marcos that require them to be here during some of the break. It's so nice to have people around while this town is in a state of pure-mellowness. It's a mellow enough place with people here...but without so many people it's almost perfect. I'm just going to appreciate that for what it is, and when the hustle and bustle of the semester begins...I'll hopefully appreciate that as well.
I hope this note finds you doing well. Take time to appreciate the things you have...I go too long sometimes without doing that myself and it's not healthy.
Also...This Will Destroy You's self-titled album was my favorite album of 2008. The fact that they are actually from San Marcos happens to be a bonus...and I think the experiences I've had while listening to that album, and the landscapes that I've passed (either around Austin/San Marcos, or in West Texas, or even in Germany...where it simply reminded me of Texas) while listening to it have made it even better. But it's a great album even if you listened to it while never leaving your room for your whole life. It's like poetry without words. I don't know how they've pulled off what they have done with this album...but they've pulled it off.
Peace and such,
- Jordan
Monday, January 05, 2009
We Carry On...We Sing Our Songs
Jan 3-4
For the first time in my life I went to Houston and was actually excited about going there. Zlam Dunk (better known as my friends who happened to be in Zlam Dunk) played their first show outside of the I-35 corridor region at Java Jazz in the North Houston area. Several other friends made the trip out for the show including Baker, Danny G. Sara and Emily. Glynn was already out there. Driver F got Zlam on the bill for the show which was a huge favor considering how well-liked they are in that particular region. Despite some strange equipment problems, among other things, their set was a smash success. I'm really happy for them because I think it cracked open a door there.
Houston is a difficult place though in a lot of ways. It's large, kind of the anti-Austin in a lot of respects...and as far as live music culture goes it was a real culture shock to see how a non-bar suburban venue (in a shopping mall next to a swingers club...weird right? Houston has no zoning laws and little regulation on out things develop so you get weird mixtures of businesses and things there) operated compared to the live music bars and venues in Austin that have to compete with several dozen other venues in a much smaller city on the same night. The crowd was a lot younger and the venue had some things that were pretty unnecessary...among them:
- A barricade in front of the stage. Good maybe for bigger metal shows (which they sometimes manage to book) but not at all needed for a show like this one
- No re-entry for anyone not in a band (even over 21). In the suburbs, when you're not serving alcohol, and everyone who pays to get in gets a highly visible and very recognizable java jazz wristband...this restriction was about as needed as a swat team at summer camp.
Weirdness of the venue experience aside (and the fact that 95% of the crowd appeared to be high school or younger, also very different from a downtown Austin show) things went well and it was definitely worth the trip for them to get that kind of exposure in a new area. They got massive props after the show. Also, Driver F's set was awesome..."Destroyed in Seconds" awesome. Great night. Afterward we made a 45 minute crosstown trek to Vega's parents house. They were ridiculously hospitable to us (a group totaling something like 15-180 people) and made some of the best breakfast I've had in a while. Migas type stuff with homemade tortillas, awesome homemade salsa, beans and picadillo (if you don't know what it is, just know that it's delicious).
Before heading back to San Marcos, we went out to Galveston. It was interesting to see how the city is doing after Hurricane Ike. I wish it were doing better than it apparently is. It was still a fun afternoon.
This weekend was amazing. I have the best friends I could ever imagine having. I'm back in San Marcos now (and happy to be back for sure) and at a loss to explain how blessed I am.
- Jordan
For the first time in my life I went to Houston and was actually excited about going there. Zlam Dunk (better known as my friends who happened to be in Zlam Dunk) played their first show outside of the I-35 corridor region at Java Jazz in the North Houston area. Several other friends made the trip out for the show including Baker, Danny G. Sara and Emily. Glynn was already out there. Driver F got Zlam on the bill for the show which was a huge favor considering how well-liked they are in that particular region. Despite some strange equipment problems, among other things, their set was a smash success. I'm really happy for them because I think it cracked open a door there.
Houston is a difficult place though in a lot of ways. It's large, kind of the anti-Austin in a lot of respects...and as far as live music culture goes it was a real culture shock to see how a non-bar suburban venue (in a shopping mall next to a swingers club...weird right? Houston has no zoning laws and little regulation on out things develop so you get weird mixtures of businesses and things there) operated compared to the live music bars and venues in Austin that have to compete with several dozen other venues in a much smaller city on the same night. The crowd was a lot younger and the venue had some things that were pretty unnecessary...among them:
- A barricade in front of the stage. Good maybe for bigger metal shows (which they sometimes manage to book) but not at all needed for a show like this one
- No re-entry for anyone not in a band (even over 21). In the suburbs, when you're not serving alcohol, and everyone who pays to get in gets a highly visible and very recognizable java jazz wristband...this restriction was about as needed as a swat team at summer camp.
Weirdness of the venue experience aside (and the fact that 95% of the crowd appeared to be high school or younger, also very different from a downtown Austin show) things went well and it was definitely worth the trip for them to get that kind of exposure in a new area. They got massive props after the show. Also, Driver F's set was awesome..."Destroyed in Seconds" awesome. Great night. Afterward we made a 45 minute crosstown trek to Vega's parents house. They were ridiculously hospitable to us (a group totaling something like 15-180 people) and made some of the best breakfast I've had in a while. Migas type stuff with homemade tortillas, awesome homemade salsa, beans and picadillo (if you don't know what it is, just know that it's delicious).
Before heading back to San Marcos, we went out to Galveston. It was interesting to see how the city is doing after Hurricane Ike. I wish it were doing better than it apparently is. It was still a fun afternoon.
This weekend was amazing. I have the best friends I could ever imagine having. I'm back in San Marcos now (and happy to be back for sure) and at a loss to explain how blessed I am.
- Jordan
Saturday, January 03, 2009
I Hope the Weather Holds
Jan 2, 2009.
So much I want to write about, but I need to sleep in a big way. Zlam Dunk owned everything tonight at the Mohawk. The place was totally packed and several decent bands played. It was a great night. Magnolia Cafe at 3 a.m. is better than almost anything. I'm going to Houston with everyone tomorrow...I haven't been there in a year and a half and I haven't been excited about going there in...well...I've never been excited about going there. But tomorrow I actually am. I just hope the weather out there is nice tomorrow.
My brother is going back to the Army early tomorrow, his leave is over. It was great to have my whole family together for the first time since the past summer. It's in the 60's at night, in January, I can't complain about that. Supposed to be in the 80's in Austin tomorrow. 18 days until Obama is finally inaugurated...something I've been looking forward to for quite some time. I could write a ton of things about political stuff but I am too tired to bother and usually it's not productive anyway.
- Jordan
So much I want to write about, but I need to sleep in a big way. Zlam Dunk owned everything tonight at the Mohawk. The place was totally packed and several decent bands played. It was a great night. Magnolia Cafe at 3 a.m. is better than almost anything. I'm going to Houston with everyone tomorrow...I haven't been there in a year and a half and I haven't been excited about going there in...well...I've never been excited about going there. But tomorrow I actually am. I just hope the weather out there is nice tomorrow.
My brother is going back to the Army early tomorrow, his leave is over. It was great to have my whole family together for the first time since the past summer. It's in the 60's at night, in January, I can't complain about that. Supposed to be in the 80's in Austin tomorrow. 18 days until Obama is finally inaugurated...something I've been looking forward to for quite some time. I could write a ton of things about political stuff but I am too tired to bother and usually it's not productive anyway.
- Jordan
Thursday, January 01, 2009
I Wish the World were Flat Like the Old Days
Today I took a quick trip up to Temple to see my family and specifically my brother Justin who is on leave from the Army until Saturday. He's stationed in Georgia while training before being deployed overseas (but likely not to the Middle East, thankfully). I think he made a great decision to go into the Army, even though it's tough sometimes I can tell it's really positive for him.
My hometown-area of Temple/Belton, Texas is still the same even though it's been growing a great deal. The only real changes really are that there are even more chain restaurants, stores and subdivisions...with the only other change being that none of my best friends from there are ever there anymore. Either they've moved on, or in many cases, their families have moved on to somewhere else...probably someplace more interesting. Temple's still okay I guess if you like excessive and near-constant wind, Starbucks, and flat landscapes, Republicans, dispersed and pointlessly sprawling urban spaces, and driving on streets with people who are shockingly bad at driving cars. Everyone either drives like a really old lady or a 16-year-old. There's a mall with one story and a movie theater. The movie theater is usually packed due to the high amount of disposalble income vs. the lack of things to do. Temple, as a large medical center (mainly because of Scott and White Hospital, where my dad and many of my friend's moms and dads have worked over the years) has more doctors per capita than any other city in the United States...and yet most of them have to still drive (thankfully, just an hour) to Austin if they want to do something out of the ordinary.
Growing up, I was reminded by the smaller and more dull places I would see while driving to other places in Texas, that there were far worse places to live. Being close enough to Austin to be able to easily go to shows there or to avert stir-craziness was a plus...but only being an hour away from a place that radically different (and in my opinion much livelier and better) makes the urge to grow up and leave that painfully average place even stronger. I've known several people who have just upped and moved to Austin, even without getting a job first, just to achieve that almost universal dream of every kid in Bell County of actually living in Austin instead. It was a primary factor in my decision to live in an apartment in South Austin for one of the years that I attended Texas State. I had only lived in the dorms there so I had not yet been able to fully appreciate San Marcos (I definitely do now). And while it was preferable to Temple for sure (and closer to downtown Austin) I still had that need to finally live in a larger city (San Marcos is smaller than Temple, but much cooler, especially for its size). So I did, and it was alright. But, school was far less enjoyable and I didn't connect with my community in San Marcos quite as well (although it was not a social disaster either and in fact I did a lot of growing up living self-supported financially on my own with roommates in Austin). Another equally important factor was, as a financially independent student, I really needed a job that paid the bills and I found it in West Austin. Thus, my apartment was a logical halfway point between work and school. I'm glad to be in San Marcos instead now though, it's a much better fit for me now than it would have been then. I just needed to experience more to understand what I truly liked. I think more people should take those kinds of leaps even if they are not sure it will be better for them...you can't find out unless you actually try to find out. I think all of my experiences over the past few years have led to more agreeable results even if they led to some temporarily very disagreeable circumstances.
My goal is to write something on a journal every day during 2009. I might not accomplish that, but in the attempt I am sure that I will write more. Today at my Grandparent's house I plucked the Diaries of Ronald Reagan (surprise!...remember what I said about Republicans?) off of their shelf. It was fascinating to see the rather human nature of what was written coming from a famous American President. Personal notes, reflections and exclamations of emotion about friends, family and sports interspersed with the geopolitical and national political stuff going on in the nation that he was currently supervising. It was also interesting that he didn't write ever day...sometimes he would cover two or three days in a short note, which is what I usually end up doing when I try to write something every day. I doubt he would have kept such an extensive diary without the goal or writing in it every day...it's a natural goal. But what I gathered is that I shouldn't feel too down if I don't always 100% achieve what I set out to do...because even the most accomplished among us are not always able to accomplish 100% of what they set out to do either. I shouldn't let the fear of not finishing what I set out to do keep me from striving for goals or setting out to do or try new things.
Cheers,
- Jordan
My hometown-area of Temple/Belton, Texas is still the same even though it's been growing a great deal. The only real changes really are that there are even more chain restaurants, stores and subdivisions...with the only other change being that none of my best friends from there are ever there anymore. Either they've moved on, or in many cases, their families have moved on to somewhere else...probably someplace more interesting. Temple's still okay I guess if you like excessive and near-constant wind, Starbucks, and flat landscapes, Republicans, dispersed and pointlessly sprawling urban spaces, and driving on streets with people who are shockingly bad at driving cars. Everyone either drives like a really old lady or a 16-year-old. There's a mall with one story and a movie theater. The movie theater is usually packed due to the high amount of disposalble income vs. the lack of things to do. Temple, as a large medical center (mainly because of Scott and White Hospital, where my dad and many of my friend's moms and dads have worked over the years) has more doctors per capita than any other city in the United States...and yet most of them have to still drive (thankfully, just an hour) to Austin if they want to do something out of the ordinary.
Growing up, I was reminded by the smaller and more dull places I would see while driving to other places in Texas, that there were far worse places to live. Being close enough to Austin to be able to easily go to shows there or to avert stir-craziness was a plus...but only being an hour away from a place that radically different (and in my opinion much livelier and better) makes the urge to grow up and leave that painfully average place even stronger. I've known several people who have just upped and moved to Austin, even without getting a job first, just to achieve that almost universal dream of every kid in Bell County of actually living in Austin instead. It was a primary factor in my decision to live in an apartment in South Austin for one of the years that I attended Texas State. I had only lived in the dorms there so I had not yet been able to fully appreciate San Marcos (I definitely do now). And while it was preferable to Temple for sure (and closer to downtown Austin) I still had that need to finally live in a larger city (San Marcos is smaller than Temple, but much cooler, especially for its size). So I did, and it was alright. But, school was far less enjoyable and I didn't connect with my community in San Marcos quite as well (although it was not a social disaster either and in fact I did a lot of growing up living self-supported financially on my own with roommates in Austin). Another equally important factor was, as a financially independent student, I really needed a job that paid the bills and I found it in West Austin. Thus, my apartment was a logical halfway point between work and school. I'm glad to be in San Marcos instead now though, it's a much better fit for me now than it would have been then. I just needed to experience more to understand what I truly liked. I think more people should take those kinds of leaps even if they are not sure it will be better for them...you can't find out unless you actually try to find out. I think all of my experiences over the past few years have led to more agreeable results even if they led to some temporarily very disagreeable circumstances.
My goal is to write something on a journal every day during 2009. I might not accomplish that, but in the attempt I am sure that I will write more. Today at my Grandparent's house I plucked the Diaries of Ronald Reagan (surprise!...remember what I said about Republicans?) off of their shelf. It was fascinating to see the rather human nature of what was written coming from a famous American President. Personal notes, reflections and exclamations of emotion about friends, family and sports interspersed with the geopolitical and national political stuff going on in the nation that he was currently supervising. It was also interesting that he didn't write ever day...sometimes he would cover two or three days in a short note, which is what I usually end up doing when I try to write something every day. I doubt he would have kept such an extensive diary without the goal or writing in it every day...it's a natural goal. But what I gathered is that I shouldn't feel too down if I don't always 100% achieve what I set out to do...because even the most accomplished among us are not always able to accomplish 100% of what they set out to do either. I shouldn't let the fear of not finishing what I set out to do keep me from striving for goals or setting out to do or try new things.
Cheers,
- Jordan
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