It's a ridiculous irony that, looking back on past Thanksgivings, I am particularly awful at being thankful for things on Thanksgiving. Now, I know that you're supposed to be thankful for stuff every day, not just when the calendar tells you to be, but I think that with all of the throwing around of the word "thanks" and whatnot, it is espeically easy (or should be) to find things to be thankful for and then be thankful for them around the 4th Thursday in November.
With this in mind, as I set it, a sign of narcissism on my part that I need to get rid of...I am trying to, in effect, be thankful ahead of the regularly scheduled day. I have a lot to be thankful for...so much...material things are one thing but those are not the things for which I am most thankful...although living in the United States and not being impoverished makes me a lot "richer" and stuff-having than a lot of people in a lot of civilizations throughout history.
I'm thankful for relationships. For the friendships that I've had, and for the ones I have, and for the ones I will have. I'm thankful for the great friendships and even the broken relationships that were once not-broken. From friends and from past experiences I have learned so much. There is nothing at all more important to me than the people I love. If someone tomorrow walked up to me and offered me a job tomorrow that paid a six-figure (or seven, or eight...etc...) income in another city, and I had to forsake all of my friendships tomorrow in order to take it, and leave everyone behind tomorrow, there is no way that I would do that. I don't know if I would to it period. I can't put a price tag on what they mean to me. I will do everything I can for them. I know that many of them would do almost anything for me. I have never experienced love and community like I do every day right now in Austin-San Marcos (and with other friends that I have in other regions). I know this time will end for our community as it exists right now, and many of us will have to move on, but I hope that we never lose our friendships despite any distance. We are the friends that we will have for the rest of our lives. I love you guys so much.
I'm thankful so much for my family. I can't describe how grateful I am that I have a great relationship with both my Mom and my Dad...and that they also are in love with each other after so many years of marriage. They are ridiculously important to me and I hold an indescribable amount of respect for them. I wish so much that other kids could have what I have...so many families and homes are so broken. It's such a sad thing to see. I remember as the same thing was threatening my own family, but somehow we withstood that storm. The sheer intensity of this blessing is not lost on me, nor is the blessing of loving Grandparents or extended family who I will see this Thursday on the street I grew up on in Belton...as I have for every Thanksgiving since I first registered memories.
I am thankful for the experiences I have had...for the things I have learned, for the privilege of attending Texas State and for the crucially important things I have learned here about the world and about myself, in class and outside of it. In the quad or at Sewell Park...or in a car somewhere on some ranch road in the Texas Hill Country. I am thankful that I can go to Emo's or a number of other places in Austin and see bands whose music has defined and influenced my life in incredibly positive ways. I am thankful that I have gotten to travel and experience things that students with my socio-economic background often do not get to do. I am thankful that everywhere I go where I live I see someone I know, and that I can see most of the people I know or do anything that I need to do without setting foot in a car. I am thankful that when I do need to leave town, my reliable car allows me to do so. I am thankful that bands like This Will Destroy You can provide a soundtrack to my life and where I live without words. I am thankful for the never-ending festival of joy that a bunch of my friends started when they decided to form a band called Zlam Dunk (seriously, it's been so much fun to be around). And I am thankful that Mexican Food is so delicious and plentiful around here! I am so thankful that I have gotten to live in a place where the sun shines over 300 days a year, and where the winters are mild, often pleasant, and sometimes even warm. I am thankful that I will get to wear shorts on Thanksgiving day. I am thankful that the apartment complex I live in is not going to get bulldozed like we thought, and that so many of my best friends, the people who are the most important thing I have, live within seconds of each other here. I am thankful for how God has led my life, even if I don't always seem so or am often skeptical of it.
I am thankful that I am allowed to be a part of so many lives, and that so many lives are a part of mine.
Thanks to anyone that reads this. You mean something to me...probably a lot...probably more than you know.
- Jordan
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
A Constant Work in Progress
It is natural to be afraid. I am a human being, hopelessly weak and incapable of perfect love or perfect anything. But, fear can be paralyzing, it often holds me back. But it shouldn't have any power over me. I really think the only thing I should be afraid is my willingness to let fear dictate what decisions I (don't) make. I don't want to be afraid anymore to tell people what I am feeling, or how much they mean to me. And I don't want to be afraid anymore to take any kind of risk. While some risks end in pain and/or disappointment, others are beautiful in their result. But if you are unwilling to risk everything you have for something greater than yourself or your selfish nature, then you can only gain nothing.
To love someone is always great risk. But to refuse to love, for fear of the risk involved, is always great tragedy. I've been telling myself that I shouldn't ever take that risk again, that I should never look for something meaningful in someone else ever again. That it's not worth it. This is a great example of how I am prone to lying to myself. When we let fear control us, we don't need obstacles or enemies. When we let fear control us, we are our own greatest obstacle and our own worst enemy. I've never fully admonished this in myself...because residing in fear and retraction is, while a sad and lonely existence, less "risky" or difficult than seeking a change to that restrictive fear-based mindset.
I hope that courage will find me soon.
To love someone is always great risk. But to refuse to love, for fear of the risk involved, is always great tragedy. I've been telling myself that I shouldn't ever take that risk again, that I should never look for something meaningful in someone else ever again. That it's not worth it. This is a great example of how I am prone to lying to myself. When we let fear control us, we don't need obstacles or enemies. When we let fear control us, we are our own greatest obstacle and our own worst enemy. I've never fully admonished this in myself...because residing in fear and retraction is, while a sad and lonely existence, less "risky" or difficult than seeking a change to that restrictive fear-based mindset.
I hope that courage will find me soon.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
BYYAAAHHHH!!!!!
Yes, the title is a reference to Howard Dean.
Hey everyone. I'm sitting in a computer lab. The computers are not being my friends. They never are though. That's okay though, it just means I'll have to take more time away from people later this semester in order to do the stuff that I'm not able to do tonight.
It's a quiet night in San Marcos, and getting colder (it was in the 80's today, which was great). I hope people are up to stuff later. My life is so strange, it's like I am half-asleep all of the time. And when I'm asleep I have these vivid dreams that make me feel as if I'm half awake. This basically is leading me to feel as if my life is one long dream with pros and cons. I don't know if that's the best thing. It makes me more numb to negatives, which is good in the near-term...but it also means I am less in touch with "reality" and the needs of those around me as well as people I don't know. It's not necessarily a breeding ground for spiritual activity either. I think I have begun to run from my feelings, emotions, problems and things that I might need to face by not running at all, but retreating into some kind of weird NON-drug induced haze. Individual days don't even seem to exist anymore. Time is just blurring. My days are running together and all of my thoughts, experiences and interactions seem to be tangled. Is this good?
Still, I can hold onto the following:
1. I am imperfect, but I'm not held to a standard of perfection
2. I can be less hard on myself and that is okay
3. I have amazing friends
4. Love exists, even if I am constantly on the outside of it...and at a loss to explain why
5. I can't stop thinking about Zlam Dunk
6. I live in a region, city, neighborhood and apartment that is the best situation I could imagine for myself at this point in my life.
7. Clarity by Jimmy Eat World will always be one of the greatest albums ever.
8. No matter how I feel in a given moment, it is not an eternity, and I won't feel that way forever
9. I am never justified to feel worried about anything
10. I need to get a handle on a seemingly inescapable cycle of self-doubt and self-loathing.
11. I need to find the money to finally buy a drum set, otherwise I will never get to play drums...even though I can.
12. I see more truth in a sunset than I have ever seen in any other person I have met...or myself.
I don't write a lot because I am way too vulnerably honest when I do. If I could write songs on guitar, I would just do that...and write them about people with other names, even though I would really be writing them about myself.
I'm looking way forward to the holidays. And winter road trips.
Hey everyone. I'm sitting in a computer lab. The computers are not being my friends. They never are though. That's okay though, it just means I'll have to take more time away from people later this semester in order to do the stuff that I'm not able to do tonight.
It's a quiet night in San Marcos, and getting colder (it was in the 80's today, which was great). I hope people are up to stuff later. My life is so strange, it's like I am half-asleep all of the time. And when I'm asleep I have these vivid dreams that make me feel as if I'm half awake. This basically is leading me to feel as if my life is one long dream with pros and cons. I don't know if that's the best thing. It makes me more numb to negatives, which is good in the near-term...but it also means I am less in touch with "reality" and the needs of those around me as well as people I don't know. It's not necessarily a breeding ground for spiritual activity either. I think I have begun to run from my feelings, emotions, problems and things that I might need to face by not running at all, but retreating into some kind of weird NON-drug induced haze. Individual days don't even seem to exist anymore. Time is just blurring. My days are running together and all of my thoughts, experiences and interactions seem to be tangled. Is this good?
Still, I can hold onto the following:
1. I am imperfect, but I'm not held to a standard of perfection
2. I can be less hard on myself and that is okay
3. I have amazing friends
4. Love exists, even if I am constantly on the outside of it...and at a loss to explain why
5. I can't stop thinking about Zlam Dunk
6. I live in a region, city, neighborhood and apartment that is the best situation I could imagine for myself at this point in my life.
7. Clarity by Jimmy Eat World will always be one of the greatest albums ever.
8. No matter how I feel in a given moment, it is not an eternity, and I won't feel that way forever
9. I am never justified to feel worried about anything
10. I need to get a handle on a seemingly inescapable cycle of self-doubt and self-loathing.
11. I need to find the money to finally buy a drum set, otherwise I will never get to play drums...even though I can.
12. I see more truth in a sunset than I have ever seen in any other person I have met...or myself.
I don't write a lot because I am way too vulnerably honest when I do. If I could write songs on guitar, I would just do that...and write them about people with other names, even though I would really be writing them about myself.
I'm looking way forward to the holidays. And winter road trips.
I'm in Love with the Ordinary
I have to confess, as much as I preach about our need to use less fuel as a society (best way to lower gas prices, as evidenced by the current free-fall in oil prices driven by falling demand *in the United States*) that I love to drive. I love road trips. I see a value in them if they involve time with friends and adventure, and I see the value in a drive on my own when I need to get away from campus just for an hour or so and clear my head. I don't feel so bad about taking the occasional drive though because I rarely drive because I am extremely blessed to live in a place where I can walk to anything I need (including the office where I work on campus). Still, I don't take the ability to drive somewhere distant for granted...and I certainly don't take the "walkability" of my current situation for granted.
This note is not about environmental-political-lifestyle issues though...I'll save that for another time (I'm saving most politically sensitive commentary for after the election...for health purposes and the sake of retaining friendships...It's going to be a long week). Actually, this is about my favorite roads that can be found in the Central Texas and Hill Country regions (my all-time favorite is cliche' but I don't care...California 1 between Monterrey and San Simeon, CA...a.k.a. "Big Sur"). If you've ever gone on a day trip with me you have probably driven down at least a couple of these. So here are my favorites, with a brief description of what I like about them, in no particular order.
Fulton Ranch Road - Hays County, TX between Ranch Road 12 and the Blanco River: This is definately my favorite road near San Marcos and one of my favorites of all time. Many people spend years here without realizing that it exists...and how cool it is. It's more commonly known as "Freeman Ranch Road", because it goes by Freeman Ranch, but it's named for a much larger ranch between Freeman and the Blanco River. It meanders though significantly well-grazed but comparatively "unspoiled" Hill Country landscape, winding along ridges and above the Wimberley Valley. The aspect of the road allows you to essentially "drive into the sunset", it is a great route to take and has several great sunset vistas along it's path. At night, you can see the town of Wimberley nestled in a valley to the left as you drive north, otherwise there are little signs of human civilization and only two or three houses on the 8 or so miles between RM-12 and the river. The road is worth the drive for the entire stretch, but it has a very pleasantly surprising climatic finish during the last mile before you reach the Blanco River. Driving around a bend, you suddenly see a cliff with a spectacular (not just by Texas standards) valley open up in front of you. It's the sort of thing that Ansel Adams would photograph. Several friends and I have simply driven out there to hang out on top of a pile of boulders that sits at the top of the cliff. That sounds mundane, but only to those who have never driven out to this place. During unusually wet seasons, the valley below is a stark green. During seasonal drought periods (such as right now) the valley is a collection of golden colors, and still a great sight. There is actually a seasonal waterfall (only after a heavy rainfall) that cascades down into a canyon that is created by a sharp bend in the cliff. It is at this bend where the road finally drops (steeply) into the valley and emerges in a different world with tall pecan trees and a collection of picturesque small organic farms that exist on the more agriculture friendly riparian (riverside) soil. This is a sharp change from the first several miles of the drive, which is a typical hill country landscape (which is unique, but with shallow rocky soil and other typical semi-arid limitations) of short drought-tolerant oak trees, invasive juniper cedars, chaparral-like shrubs, and large boulder features covered with yuccas and prickly pear cacti. The stretch ends at a primitive one-lane low water crossing across the Blanco River. The river here looks like something out of a movie. The flow varies greatly depending on rainfall...it can be a trickle, or it can be a torrent of roaring rapids...which is the case after a heavy rainfall. This highlights a downside of the road, if it rains, you don't want to be on it as the washes it goes through flood at several points. Also, the crossing here floods easily, and if this is the case you have to turn around and drive all the way back to San Marcos instead of being able to continue onto Wimberley. Also, it's a rural county road that is narrow with sharp curves and a few annoying dips that can take you by surprise when driving, so it's best to do so with caution. However, if you live anywhere close to San Marcos or Austin you should drive down this road at some point...I promise it will give you a greater appreciate for the part of the world that you live in. To get there: Take Ranch Road 12 west out of San Marcos...it is literally the first paved right turn after you leave the city limits.
Ranch Road 32 over Devils Backbone - between the Comal County Line and RM-3424: Driving on this road out of the Wimberley Valley, you proceed along a fairly level stretch for about 4 miles...it remains level, which means if you don't look to the right after crossing the Comal County line you would fail to realize that you're next to another one of the best views in this area. Every time I have driven people down this road for the first time and tell them to look to the right they are completely suprised by the view that suddenly appears to the right. The features become more obvious as the road ascends to the top of the ridge, which it follows for two very scenic miles. Near the highest point, there's a rest stop where you can pull off and admire the view without worrying about driving at the same time. Unfortunately the land on either side of the road is privately owned and fenced off. It's commonly trespassed on, but I have heard more than one story of DPS officers waiting by cars for people to return and give them a citation. There's also a cross inscribed with the name "Erin" at the rest stop...presumably a memorial to someone who fell down the side of the ridge. I didn't know this for sure, so I did some research. Apparently the "Ghost Hunters of Texas" have heard weird stuff there and it turns out there was an "Unsolved Mysteries" episode about Devil's Backbone and all of the alleged "hauntings" that have happened there ranging from Spanish Monks to some ghost wolf thing... interesting. I'll have to check it out later on. (http://www.ghosthuntersoftexas.com/dbreststop.htm ). Still, just being able to look at the view is a treat, and worth the short 15 minutes it takes to get there from San Marcos. The drive out there is also not bad in terms of scenery. To get there: Take Ranch Road 12 west of San Marcos. At the blinking light "junction" in Wimberley continue straght as the road becomes Ranch Road 32. "The Backbone" is 5 miles from this point.
Ranch Road 2222 - Austin, TX between Capital of Texas Highway (Loop 360) and Mopac/Loop 1: This is the first urban road (technically, it is called "Urban Road 2222", but changing the signs for this and other RM and FM roads in suburbanization areas would be an unnecessary expense so they are still signed as they were originally named. This is a fact so obscure I don't even think you could impress your friends with it). This is one of the most spectacular drives in Travis County, and remarkable that the entire stretch is within the city limits of Austin. It winds up the Balcones Escarpment from Mopac around bends and through the canyonlands until it reaches a point above Loop 360 where it simultaneously hugs a steep hillside while providing a scenic look at Lake Austin below, with the iconic "360 Bridge" in the distance. Definitely a road to take sometime if you haven't already. It'll surpass what you would expect to find in the urban part of the Austin Metro area. To get there: Take the Mopac Freeway north from Downtown and exit RM-2222/Northland Dr. Turn left at the light and enjoy several scenic miles of a beautiful urban landscape.
Ranch Road 1888 from Ranch Road 1623 west of Blanco to Luckenbach via RM-1376: I really like this route because it embodies pretty much everything that I like about the Hill Country. Starting a few miles west of Blanco, RM-1888 winds alongside the picturesque Blanco River toward it's headwaters in a beautiful valley. About every mile or so you see an interesting old (mostly German) stone farmhouse. The road forks after about 5 miles you climb up and out of the valley. Cutting through Northeastern Kendall County, the road takes you over wide-open ranch country ridgetops where you can see for miles. The road takes a right turn north into Gillespie county toward Fredericksburg. The landscape levels a bit before you pass by the legendary "town" of Luckenbach (pop 3)...which was made famous by Willie Nelson who wrote "Everybody's Somebody in Luckenbach" and has held his huge Fourth of July Picnic there on more than one occasion. Everytime I've stopped there I have seen an interesting collection of people hanging out around the old post office and general store. A lot of old-school bikers but also plenty of old folk-music loving hippies...the kind that end up and the Kerrville Folk Festival for 18 days. The place seems lost in time and is, despite it's status as a tourist stop, a truly unique element of Texas culture.To get there, take RM-12/32 from San Marcos to U.S. 281. Turn Right and go to the center of Blanco. The town's only traffic light is your turn for RM-1623. RM-1888 is a few miles west of town.
Farm to Market Road 972 - Williamson County from FM-1105 in Walburg to State Highway 95: This is the first non-Hill Country road that I've listed (it's just east of IH-35 north of Georgetown), the terrain is mostly a fairly level but rolling transition between the Hill Country to the West and the dull flatness of the fertile Blackland Prairie belt that runs parallel to IH-35 on the East. Williamson County is generally not my favorite place in the world and one could assume that if I found a road there that I liked it would probably be west of the Interstate. However, it is the unexpected beauty that I find along this road that puts it on this list. Another part of my attachment to this road is personal, it's my favorite part of my drive to visit my parents' at their home and I always look forward to it. The road winds along from the iconic and historic tiny town of Walburg (which retains much of the cultural vibe left over from the German immigrant farmers who settled it) out into the rolling farmland. The sky is immense and development sparse save for a scattering of small farms and country spreads. While there are a lot of curves, they are never so sharp as to require slowing down and it is sparsely recently repaved so it is really smooth as well. But, along with being a fun and enjoyable road, it runs across a farm-intensive landscape of subtle beauty beneath an immense and beautiful wide-open sky. Driving west on this road toward the sunset provides a view that will alter the way you look at the world around you. This road is special to me because it has shown me how beauty can exist in altogether unexpected places. To get there: Take Interstate 35 North of Austin through Georgetown to the Walburg exit just north of SH-130 (Exit 268). Turn right onto FM-972. The stretch that I described begins at FM-1105 in Walburg after about 4 miles.
This note is not about environmental-political-li
Fulton Ranch Road - Hays County, TX between Ranch Road 12 and the Blanco River: This is definately my favorite road near San Marcos and one of my favorites of all time. Many people spend years here without realizing that it exists...and how cool it is. It's more commonly known as "Freeman Ranch Road", because it goes by Freeman Ranch, but it's named for a much larger ranch between Freeman and the Blanco River. It meanders though significantly well-grazed but comparatively "unspoiled" Hill Country landscape, winding along ridges and above the Wimberley Valley. The aspect of the road allows you to essentially "drive into the sunset", it is a great route to take and has several great sunset vistas along it's path. At night, you can see the town of Wimberley nestled in a valley to the left as you drive north, otherwise there are little signs of human civilization and only two or three houses on the 8 or so miles between RM-12 and the river. The road is worth the drive for the entire stretch, but it has a very pleasantly surprising climatic finish during the last mile before you reach the Blanco River. Driving around a bend, you suddenly see a cliff with a spectacular (not just by Texas standards) valley open up in front of you. It's the sort of thing that Ansel Adams would photograph. Several friends and I have simply driven out there to hang out on top of a pile of boulders that sits at the top of the cliff. That sounds mundane, but only to those who have never driven out to this place. During unusually wet seasons, the valley below is a stark green. During seasonal drought periods (such as right now) the valley is a collection of golden colors, and still a great sight. There is actually a seasonal waterfall (only after a heavy rainfall) that cascades down into a canyon that is created by a sharp bend in the cliff. It is at this bend where the road finally drops (steeply) into the valley and emerges in a different world with tall pecan trees and a collection of picturesque small organic farms that exist on the more agriculture friendly riparian (riverside) soil. This is a sharp change from the first several miles of the drive, which is a typical hill country landscape (which is unique, but with shallow rocky soil and other typical semi-arid limitations) of short drought-tolerant oak trees, invasive juniper cedars, chaparral-like shrubs, and large boulder features covered with yuccas and prickly pear cacti. The stretch ends at a primitive one-lane low water crossing across the Blanco River. The river here looks like something out of a movie. The flow varies greatly depending on rainfall...it can be a trickle, or it can be a torrent of roaring rapids...which is the case after a heavy rainfall. This highlights a downside of the road, if it rains, you don't want to be on it as the washes it goes through flood at several points. Also, the crossing here floods easily, and if this is the case you have to turn around and drive all the way back to San Marcos instead of being able to continue onto Wimberley. Also, it's a rural county road that is narrow with sharp curves and a few annoying dips that can take you by surprise when driving, so it's best to do so with caution. However, if you live anywhere close to San Marcos or Austin you should drive down this road at some point...I promise it will give you a greater appreciate for the part of the world that you live in. To get there: Take Ranch Road 12 west out of San Marcos...it is literally the first paved right turn after you leave the city limits.
Ranch Road 32 over Devils Backbone - between the Comal County Line and RM-3424: Driving on this road out of the Wimberley Valley, you proceed along a fairly level stretch for about 4 miles...it remains level, which means if you don't look to the right after crossing the Comal County line you would fail to realize that you're next to another one of the best views in this area. Every time I have driven people down this road for the first time and tell them to look to the right they are completely suprised by the view that suddenly appears to the right. The features become more obvious as the road ascends to the top of the ridge, which it follows for two very scenic miles. Near the highest point, there's a rest stop where you can pull off and admire the view without worrying about driving at the same time. Unfortunately the land on either side of the road is privately owned and fenced off. It's commonly trespassed on, but I have heard more than one story of DPS officers waiting by cars for people to return and give them a citation. There's also a cross inscribed with the name "Erin" at the rest stop...presumably a memorial to someone who fell down the side of the ridge. I didn't know this for sure, so I did some research. Apparently the "Ghost Hunters of Texas" have heard weird stuff there and it turns out there was an "Unsolved Mysteries" episode about Devil's Backbone and all of the alleged "hauntings" that have happened there ranging from Spanish Monks to some ghost wolf thing... interesting. I'll have to check it out later on. (http://www.ghosthuntersoft
Ranch Road 2222 - Austin, TX between Capital of Texas Highway (Loop 360) and Mopac/Loop 1: This is the first urban road (technically, it is called "Urban Road 2222", but changing the signs for this and other RM and FM roads in suburbanization areas would be an unnecessary expense so they are still signed as they were originally named. This is a fact so obscure I don't even think you could impress your friends with it). This is one of the most spectacular drives in Travis County, and remarkable that the entire stretch is within the city limits of Austin. It winds up the Balcones Escarpment from Mopac around bends and through the canyonlands until it reaches a point above Loop 360 where it simultaneously hugs a steep hillside while providing a scenic look at Lake Austin below, with the iconic "360 Bridge" in the distance. Definitely a road to take sometime if you haven't already. It'll surpass what you would expect to find in the urban part of the Austin Metro area. To get there: Take the Mopac Freeway north from Downtown and exit RM-2222/Northland Dr. Turn left at the light and enjoy several scenic miles of a beautiful urban landscape.
Ranch Road 1888 from Ranch Road 1623 west of Blanco to Luckenbach via RM-1376: I really like this route because it embodies pretty much everything that I like about the Hill Country. Starting a few miles west of Blanco, RM-1888 winds alongside the picturesque Blanco River toward it's headwaters in a beautiful valley. About every mile or so you see an interesting old (mostly German) stone farmhouse. The road forks after about 5 miles you climb up and out of the valley. Cutting through Northeastern Kendall County, the road takes you over wide-open ranch country ridgetops where you can see for miles. The road takes a right turn north into Gillespie county toward Fredericksburg. The landscape levels a bit before you pass by the legendary "town" of Luckenbach (pop 3)...which was made famous by Willie Nelson who wrote "Everybody's Somebody in Luckenbach" and has held his huge Fourth of July Picnic there on more than one occasion. Everytime I've stopped there I have seen an interesting collection of people hanging out around the old post office and general store. A lot of old-school bikers but also plenty of old folk-music loving hippies...the kind that end up and the Kerrville Folk Festival for 18 days. The place seems lost in time and is, despite it's status as a tourist stop, a truly unique element of Texas culture.To get there, take RM-12/32 from San Marcos to U.S. 281. Turn Right and go to the center of Blanco. The town's only traffic light is your turn for RM-1623. RM-1888 is a few miles west of town.
Farm to Market Road 972 - Williamson County from FM-1105 in Walburg to State Highway 95: This is the first non-Hill Country road that I've listed (it's just east of IH-35 north of Georgetown), the terrain is mostly a fairly level but rolling transition between the Hill Country to the West and the dull flatness of the fertile Blackland Prairie belt that runs parallel to IH-35 on the East. Williamson County is generally not my favorite place in the world and one could assume that if I found a road there that I liked it would probably be west of the Interstate. However, it is the unexpected beauty that I find along this road that puts it on this list. Another part of my attachment to this road is personal, it's my favorite part of my drive to visit my parents' at their home and I always look forward to it. The road winds along from the iconic and historic tiny town of Walburg (which retains much of the cultural vibe left over from the German immigrant farmers who settled it) out into the rolling farmland. The sky is immense and development sparse save for a scattering of small farms and country spreads. While there are a lot of curves, they are never so sharp as to require slowing down and it is sparsely recently repaved so it is really smooth as well. But, along with being a fun and enjoyable road, it runs across a farm-intensive landscape of subtle beauty beneath an immense and beautiful wide-open sky. Driving west on this road toward the sunset provides a view that will alter the way you look at the world around you. This road is special to me because it has shown me how beauty can exist in altogether unexpected places. To get there: Take Interstate 35 North of Austin through Georgetown to the Walburg exit just north of SH-130 (Exit 268). Turn right onto FM-972. The stretch that I described begins at FM-1105 in Walburg after about 4 miles.
Reconstruction Site
I normally don't put much stock in "personality tests", espeically an online one, but I took one that had about 75 questions and was labeled as an ENFP. So I looked up the Kiersey definition...and it ended up being so much like how I see myself, and how I hear myself described by others, that I decided that it was legit and wanted to share it. It was really encouraging to read because I often doubt myself...my idealism is more directed toward the world around me and not myself. I am in constant need of encouragement from others around me who know me well enough that I trust them and what they say can make an impact on me. But, I think my "emotional sensitivity" and self-doubt kind of go hand in hand. I just need to learn to better appreciate my strengths and my weaknesses.
If you are reading this and recognize it as me then you are probably my friend and if you are my friend I really do appreciate you. Feel free to either affirm this or point out if I am off-base. Either way I will appreciate it.
---
ENFP description:
Idealist Portrait of the Champion (ENFP)
Like the other Idealists, Champions are rather rare, say two or three percent of the population, but even more than the others they consider intense emotional experiences as being vital to a full life. Champions have a wide range and variety of emotions, and a great passion for novelty. They see life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil, and they want to experience all the meaningful events and fascinating people in the world. The most outgoing of the Idealists, Champions often can't wait to tell others of their extraordinary experiences. Champions can be tireless in talking with others, like fountains that bubble and splash, spilling over their own words to get it all out. And usually this is not simple storytelling; Champions often speak (or write) in the hope of revealing some truth about human experience, or of motivating others with their powerful convictions. Their strong drive to speak out on issues and events, along with their boundless enthusiasm and natural talent with language, makes them the most vivacious and inspiring of all the types.
Fiercely individualistic, Champions strive toward a kind of personal authenticity, and this intention always to be themselves is usually quite attractive to others. At the same time, Champions have outstanding intuitive powers and can tell what is going on inside of others, reading hidden emotions and giving special significance to words or actions. In fact, Champions are constantly scanning the social environment, and no intriguing character or silent motive is likely to escape their attention. Far more than the other Idealists, Champions are keen and probing observers of the people around them, and are capable of intense concentration on another individual. Their attention is rarely passive or casual. On the contrary, Champions tend to be extra sensitive and alert, always ready for emergencies, always on the lookout for what's possible.
Champions are good with people and usually have a wide range of personal relationships. They are warm and full of energy with their friends. They are likable and at ease with colleagues, and handle their employees or students with great skill. They are good in public and on the telephone, and are so spontaneous and dramatic that others love to be in their company. Champions are positive, exuberant people, and often their confidence in the goodness of life and of human nature makes good things happen.
If you are reading this and recognize it as me then you are probably my friend and if you are my friend I really do appreciate you. Feel free to either affirm this or point out if I am off-base. Either way I will appreciate it.
---
ENFP description:
Idealist Portrait of the Champion (ENFP)
Like the other Idealists, Champions are rather rare, say two or three percent of the population, but even more than the others they consider intense emotional experiences as being vital to a full life. Champions have a wide range and variety of emotions, and a great passion for novelty. They see life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil, and they want to experience all the meaningful events and fascinating people in the world. The most outgoing of the Idealists, Champions often can't wait to tell others of their extraordinary experiences. Champions can be tireless in talking with others, like fountains that bubble and splash, spilling over their own words to get it all out. And usually this is not simple storytelling; Champions often speak (or write) in the hope of revealing some truth about human experience, or of motivating others with their powerful convictions. Their strong drive to speak out on issues and events, along with their boundless enthusiasm and natural talent with language, makes them the most vivacious and inspiring of all the types.
Fiercely individualistic, Champions strive toward a kind of personal authenticity, and this intention always to be themselves is usually quite attractive to others. At the same time, Champions have outstanding intuitive powers and can tell what is going on inside of others, reading hidden emotions and giving special significance to words or actions. In fact, Champions are constantly scanning the social environment, and no intriguing character or silent motive is likely to escape their attention. Far more than the other Idealists, Champions are keen and probing observers of the people around them, and are capable of intense concentration on another individual. Their attention is rarely passive or casual. On the contrary, Champions tend to be extra sensitive and alert, always ready for emergencies, always on the lookout for what's possible.
Champions are good with people and usually have a wide range of personal relationships. They are warm and full of energy with their friends. They are likable and at ease with colleagues, and handle their employees or students with great skill. They are good in public and on the telephone, and are so spontaneous and dramatic that others love to be in their company. Champions are positive, exuberant people, and often their confidence in the goodness of life and of human nature makes good things happen.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Songs that Mean Stuff
I really like when I hear a song where the subject matter is something other than simple vague emotional topics (love/hate/frustration or whatever), or goes beyond the usual topics (relationships, growing up, failed relationships...that's usually it). There's a place for music that is just of fun...in fact I like a lot of bands that are just that. But, it's really cool to come across songs in genres that where songs are usually superficial, vacuous or not very serious, that actually have a meaning to a specific message or story that is really important and profound. I espeically like finding these songs because they are usually set to a style of music that I really enjoy listening to. It's a win-win situation
For me, I like music that I enjoy listening to. I try to avoid feeling forced into liking certain bands, nor not like them (as in the case of one of the bands on this list actually) by people around me or the people who decide what is "cool" this week (i.e. Pitchfork). For that reason, I still listen to a lot of the ska-punk stuff that I grew up listening to. If I don't like music or a band, it's for the same reasons...at least that is more and more the case (I have had periods where I got caught up in the "scene points" hole of being persuaded by trends over whether or not I would enjoy a band otherwise).
Anyway, that's enough explanation. Here are some songs that I appreciate for being specifically meaningful (not just to me, but to larger issues in society or larger stories that should be important lessons to that society).
Five Iron Frenzy - Banner Year This song always comes to mind when I think of this subject, because it appears on their "Our Newest Album Ever" album after a song about losing a blue comb at age 7 and a couple of songs before a song about Canada that declares it the "Maple Leaf State" and how they have Slurpee's made from venison ("that's deer") and lots of lumber, and lumberjacks, and logs (I really miss this band). Point being, they wrote a lot of funny and non-serious songs, which makes their occasional serious songs worth noting. Banner Year is probably the best example, because it's essentially about the genocide of Native-Americans in the 1800's...not exactly a typical topic for bands whose albums were sold at Christian Bookstores. The chorus is one that would make any America-loving Right-Wing uber-patriot cringe:
"Wave your flag. Salivate.
Stirring feelings of pride and hate.
A peace of cloth can't hold your faith."
It seems that some pretend that Five Iron didn't write these songs ("Anthem" has a similar theme), or that the message wasn't as strong as I see it. I don't know if that's the case, but I find that these songs received little recognition when they were ideologically profound coming from a band whose audience was mostly the suburban kids of the "Christian-Right". I don't think Reese Roper's songs where inherently political...they were written on the grounds that as a Christian, one shouldn't get sucked into the trap of thinking that patriotism is something that goes hand in hand with Christianity. In any case, I admire Roper and his band for going after subjects that, if they had been less successful in the "Christian-scene", they probably would not have been allowed to address, espeically if they had been on one of the major Christian radio labels. But, like most of their less non-serious songs, Roper's religious viewpoint shines through the message. It was refreshing to see it done using relevant topics and outside of the forumlized christian music industry blandness.
Say Anything - Alive with the Glory of Love Those who know me may have heard me speak of this band in less than glowing terms at times...essentially though, that was due to a combination of misunderstanding (frontman Max Bemis is ridiculously bi-polar and very honest about that in his music, which explains a lot of it) and not really giving them a fair chance. So, after about two and a half years of having the album "...Is a Real Boy" shamelessly promoted to my by a friend I gave it another spin. I honestly can't say it's anything less than a really good album. But, Alive with the Glory of Love is the one song in particular sticks out because of it's meaning (and the fact that it's not about Max, his problems, and how he is bi-polar...which again makes for an interesting album).
I guess another reason why I found this song so meaningful is my memory of visiting the well-preserved parts of the Auschwitz Death Camp outside of Krakow Poland last summer. The S.S. during the Holocaust killed more people here than anywhere else...Jews, Poles, people who were not Jewish but looked like me (brown eyes, brown curly hair) Gypsies, resistance fighters, Christians who sympathized with Jews, and homosexuals...among others. It was a mentally-disturbing 6 hour tour of a place that is still permeated by a freakish spirit of pure death. Seeing the "wall of death", starvation rooms and walking into the one gas chamber that the Nazi's didn't have time to destroy before fleeing the approaching Soviets has an effect on you. One of those affects, was giving me an avenue to more fully appreciate this song.
The tune is possibly semi-biographical (Max's Grandparents were involved in the Holocaust), and is about two Jews in love in Nazi occupied Poland who are to be inevitably separated and sent to their "separate work camps". The concentration camp of Treblinka (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treblinka_extermination_camp ) is specifically mentioned in the song, it's a place where at least 700,000 (but possibly more) people were exterminated northeast of Warsaw. I'm curious as to whether the sprawling ghetto mentioned in the song is actually Warsaw (it was one of the largest and most notorious Jewish ghettos in occupied Europe). The genius of the song is that it starts off sounding as a typical love song, but lyrically evolves as it progresses as the context of the story is revealed as the holocaust. It's safe to say that I consider this to be one of the more meaningful songs that I have heard in recent years. The story is sad, but the tone of the song is also upbeat and hopeful. It's songs like this that make me kick myself for being so quick to dismiss bands because peer or scene pressure is telling me that they "suck" because maybe the "wrong kids" like them, or something, I dunno. But I've been given another reason to stop considering any of that and just enjoy music be more open minded and learn things from the words that songs contain.
Piebald - If Marcus Garvey Dies, Marcus Garvey Lives "They teach us what to think but do not teach us how to think". Piebald is a power-pop-punkish-whatever band that recently disbanded...and not enough people listened to them even though they were profoundly enjoyable and a reasonably good band. In between writing songs about dance parties, stalkers and yellow cars they occasionally cranked out a song about a really interesting specific subject. I had no idea who Marcus Garvey was. Thanks to this song, now I do. Turns out he was really important, but history classes rarely mention him it seems.
"He (Marcus Garvey) was the first man of color to lead and develop a mass movement. He was the first man on a mass scale and level to give millions of Negroes a sense of dignity and destiny. And make the Negro feel he was somebody."
- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcus_garvey
Less than Jake - Lockdown Problems related to urban blight and the decline of American cities are not exactly usual fodder for ska-punk songs...which is why I like Less than Jake so much (the pre-Borders and Boundaries/Anthem albums are my favorites). Lockdown hits on the unfortunate aspects of our current patter of placeless sprawl surrounding dying centers and how things could be better. They also hit on this theme in Boomtown and and some other parts of other songs. Again, unexpected from a band in the ska-punk genre...where songs are more typically about pool parties and such.
At the Drive In - Invalid Litter Dept. It's obvious to most listeners that Cedric Bixler-Zavala's lyrics in At the Drive In and Mars Volta songs rarely seem to make any sense...more of a subconscious stream of words and thoughts with little realistic meaning. Invalid Litter Dept. However, actually does mean something...but you wouldn't easily deduce its meaning without seeing the video that the band made for it.
The song, while still written in Cedric's absurdly roaming and non-nonsensical lyrical style, is about the missing women of Juarez, the Mexican border city across the Rio Grande from At the Drive In's hometown of El Paso. Since the Early 90's the bodies of dozens and dozens of women have turned up in the desert outside of the city and to this day these violent sex crimes remain fully unsolved...leading to theories that anyone from drug cartels to the Federales are involved in the killings. One line in the song goes "the Federales performed their custodial customs quite well". Other lines, such as "they made sure the obituaries showed pictures of smokestacks" are references to the lives of the women, many of whom work in the smoke-belching maquiladora factories (thousands of these exist along the border) which mostly make cheaper goods to be sent across the border into the United States. The video works to explain the meaning behind the more arcane lyrics of the song, and its duration is fully spent on bringing attention to the problem which has received, at best, scattered media attention in the United States (although much more attention in parts of Texas). The song itself is amazing but it's more direct meaning adds a strong layer of emotion to it. I once read an interview with the band where they talked about how several people in the studio broke down crying after they finished recording the song.
Some background on the issue: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1171962
D.I.Y. Documentary Music video for Invalid Litter Dept.: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mb_OrFQN07E
For me, I like music that I enjoy listening to. I try to avoid feeling forced into liking certain bands, nor not like them (as in the case of one of the bands on this list actually) by people around me or the people who decide what is "cool" this week (i.e. Pitchfork). For that reason, I still listen to a lot of the ska-punk stuff that I grew up listening to. If I don't like music or a band, it's for the same reasons...at least that is more and more the case (I have had periods where I got caught up in the "scene points" hole of being persuaded by trends over whether or not I would enjoy a band otherwise).
Anyway, that's enough explanation. Here are some songs that I appreciate for being specifically meaningful (not just to me, but to larger issues in society or larger stories that should be important lessons to that society).
Five Iron Frenzy - Banner Year This song always comes to mind when I think of this subject, because it appears on their "Our Newest Album Ever" album after a song about losing a blue comb at age 7 and a couple of songs before a song about Canada that declares it the "Maple Leaf State" and how they have Slurpee's made from venison ("that's deer") and lots of lumber, and lumberjacks, and logs (I really miss this band). Point being, they wrote a lot of funny and non-serious songs, which makes their occasional serious songs worth noting. Banner Year is probably the best example, because it's essentially about the genocide of Native-Americans in the 1800's...not exactly a typical topic for bands whose albums were sold at Christian Bookstores. The chorus is one that would make any America-loving Right-Wing uber-patriot cringe:
"Wave your flag. Salivate.
Stirring feelings of pride and hate.
A peace of cloth can't hold your faith."
It seems that some pretend that Five Iron didn't write these songs ("Anthem" has a similar theme), or that the message wasn't as strong as I see it. I don't know if that's the case, but I find that these songs received little recognition when they were ideologically profound coming from a band whose audience was mostly the suburban kids of the "Christian-Right". I don't think Reese Roper's songs where inherently political...they were written on the grounds that as a Christian, one shouldn't get sucked into the trap of thinking that patriotism is something that goes hand in hand with Christianity. In any case, I admire Roper and his band for going after subjects that, if they had been less successful in the "Christian-scene", they probably would not have been allowed to address, espeically if they had been on one of the major Christian radio labels. But, like most of their less non-serious songs, Roper's religious viewpoint shines through the message. It was refreshing to see it done using relevant topics and outside of the forumlized christian music industry blandness.
Say Anything - Alive with the Glory of Love Those who know me may have heard me speak of this band in less than glowing terms at times...essentially though, that was due to a combination of misunderstanding (frontman Max Bemis is ridiculously bi-polar and very honest about that in his music, which explains a lot of it) and not really giving them a fair chance. So, after about two and a half years of having the album "...Is a Real Boy" shamelessly promoted to my by a friend I gave it another spin. I honestly can't say it's anything less than a really good album. But, Alive with the Glory of Love is the one song in particular sticks out because of it's meaning (and the fact that it's not about Max, his problems, and how he is bi-polar...which again makes for an interesting album).
I guess another reason why I found this song so meaningful is my memory of visiting the well-preserved parts of the Auschwitz Death Camp outside of Krakow Poland last summer. The S.S. during the Holocaust killed more people here than anywhere else...Jews, Poles, people who were not Jewish but looked like me (brown eyes, brown curly hair) Gypsies, resistance fighters, Christians who sympathized with Jews, and homosexuals...among others. It was a mentally-disturbing 6 hour tour of a place that is still permeated by a freakish spirit of pure death. Seeing the "wall of death", starvation rooms and walking into the one gas chamber that the Nazi's didn't have time to destroy before fleeing the approaching Soviets has an effect on you. One of those affects, was giving me an avenue to more fully appreciate this song.
The tune is possibly semi-biographical (Max's Grandparents were involved in the Holocaust), and is about two Jews in love in Nazi occupied Poland who are to be inevitably separated and sent to their "separate work camps". The concentration camp of Treblinka (http://en.wikipedia.org/wi
Piebald - If Marcus Garvey Dies, Marcus Garvey Lives "They teach us what to think but do not teach us how to think". Piebald is a power-pop-punkish-whatever
"He (Marcus Garvey) was the first man of color to lead and develop a mass movement. He was the first man on a mass scale and level to give millions of Negroes a sense of dignity and destiny. And make the Negro feel he was somebody."
- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wi
Less than Jake - Lockdown Problems related to urban blight and the decline of American cities are not exactly usual fodder for ska-punk songs...which is why I like Less than Jake so much (the pre-Borders and Boundaries/Anthem albums are my favorites). Lockdown hits on the unfortunate aspects of our current patter of placeless sprawl surrounding dying centers and how things could be better. They also hit on this theme in Boomtown and and some other parts of other songs. Again, unexpected from a band in the ska-punk genre...where songs are more typically about pool parties and such.
At the Drive In - Invalid Litter Dept. It's obvious to most listeners that Cedric Bixler-Zavala's lyrics in At the Drive In and Mars Volta songs rarely seem to make any sense...more of a subconscious stream of words and thoughts with little realistic meaning. Invalid Litter Dept. However, actually does mean something...but you wouldn't easily deduce its meaning without seeing the video that the band made for it.
The song, while still written in Cedric's absurdly roaming and non-nonsensical lyrical style, is about the missing women of Juarez, the Mexican border city across the Rio Grande from At the Drive In's hometown of El Paso. Since the Early 90's the bodies of dozens and dozens of women have turned up in the desert outside of the city and to this day these violent sex crimes remain fully unsolved...leading to theories that anyone from drug cartels to the Federales are involved in the killings. One line in the song goes "the Federales performed their custodial customs quite well". Other lines, such as "they made sure the obituaries showed pictures of smokestacks" are references to the lives of the women, many of whom work in the smoke-belching maquiladora factories (thousands of these exist along the border) which mostly make cheaper goods to be sent across the border into the United States. The video works to explain the meaning behind the more arcane lyrics of the song, and its duration is fully spent on bringing attention to the problem which has received, at best, scattered media attention in the United States (although much more attention in parts of Texas). The song itself is amazing but it's more direct meaning adds a strong layer of emotion to it. I once read an interview with the band where they talked about how several people in the studio broke down crying after they finished recording the song.
Some background on the issue: http://www.npr.org/templat
D.I.Y. Documentary Music video for Invalid Litter Dept.: http://www.youtube.com/wat
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