- Punk Rock Summer Camp 2009
The Lineup:
-- Adolescents
-- Andrew WK
-- The Ataris
-- Autopilot Off
-- Bad Religion
-- Bandits of the Acoustic Revolution
-- The Bouncing Souls
-- Catch 22 (90's)
-- Champion
-- Comeback Kid
-- Daggermouth
-- Dead Kenedys
-- Dogwood
-- Five Iron Frenzy
-- Good Riddance
-- H2O
-- The Impossibles
-- The International Superheros of Hardcore
-- Lagwagon
-- Less than Jake (90's)
-- The Living End
-- The Mae Shi
-- Mighty Mighty Bosstones
-- Millencolin
-- Minor Threat
-- Mu330
-- Municipal Waste
-- Mustard Plug
-- MxPx
-- NoFX
-- No Trigger
-- Propaghandi
-- Rancid
-- RX Bandits
-- Saves the Day
-- Set Your Goals
-- Slick Shoes
-- Streetlight Manifesto
-- Strung Out
-- Suicide Machines
-- Take it Back!
-- xLooking FowardX
-- Zero Down
-- 7 Seconds
** Additions likely ** Suggestions welcome **
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Punk Rock was my First Girl, She Left Me a Scar so I Have Her Still
Jordan Stewart's Punk Rock Summer Camp '09 initial lineup announcement. Sub-genres and related stuff included. This is just the stuff that I already have and already listen to:
Burned Like A Summer Home
Someone's house going up in flames isn't funny...but this oxymoronic twitter message from KXAN News gave me a chuckle when I first saw it...:
//KXAN_News Controlled fire spreads to home: http://tinyurl.com/cw8pxm//
...then I felt kinda bad when I realized I what I was laughing about.
At least, if the fire is still "controlled", then someone must be getting revenge or something like that.
In retrospect, a Fire Department doing a "controlled burn" on a day where 95+ degree temperatures and 15% humidity were forecast (and happened) wasn't a good call. Hindsight is...
For everyone keeping score at home: The current temperature is 97F with 18% humidity with a 21 MPH wind.
//KXAN_News Controlled fire spreads to home: http://tinyurl.com/cw8pxm/
...then I felt kinda bad when I realized I what I was laughing about.
At least, if the fire is still "controlled", then someone must be getting revenge or something like that.
In retrospect, a Fire Department doing a "controlled burn" on a day where 95+ degree temperatures and 15% humidity were forecast (and happened) wasn't a good call. Hindsight is...
For everyone keeping score at home: The current temperature is 97F with 18% humidity with a 21 MPH wind.
The Rising Sun Brings Little Change to this City with a Stolen Name
The average Texas county is about the size of the state of Rhode Island, and Texas has 254 of them.
In most counties, there are anywhere from a few to a couple of dozen municipalities. While some of these towns have typical American city names, such as Franklin, Vernon or Columbus, there are quite a few that are far more interesting. In almost any given Texas county, you can find a town or city whose name stands out...even in a state that has a significant share of towns with interesting, descriptive, or downright weird names.
The names I tend to notice and like the most seem to fall into specific categories. They're named after physical features in or near the town, they're in Spanish (and thus a reference to a settlement's age going back to the days of Spanish and Mexican settlement of the Southwest), or they have some kind of connection to a mythical character or story (and names like this, thus, have a story behind them).
Towns named after physical features have a connection through that name to their landscape. Two that I always think of are not even named after features that are all that impressive. Flower Mound, now a booming suburb of Dallas, is named after a small mound covered with flowers just to the east of the original settlement. Round Rock, now a similarly booming suburb of Austin that is transforming into a city in its own right, is named for a, well, round boulder that is found on the shore of Brushy Creek in the original part of town.
There are others, of course. One of my favorites is a small settlement that I've never actually been to called "Notrees" west of Midland. In an almost theological fashion, it's named not for something, but for the absence of it. According to legend, when a settler was picking a name for the place, the lack of trees in the surrounding landscape was so prominent that he found it to be the best description of the place. Apparently the town actually had one native tree before 100% of the community's trees were removed in the construction of a large gas plant.
I like names that are in Spanish because they sound cool, and they can be both a reference to history or to physical landscapes as well. There are plenty of them, especially in the south half of Texas. Spanish settlers only pushed so far before the landscape's difficulties became too much of a barrier for extensive settlement. The footprint they've left can be seen in the gradual transition of river and creek names in Texas from English to Spanish as you drive south in I-35, with the Brazos river (named for it's many arms in West Texas that collect to form the giant river) being the northernmost prominent one. From Waco south, every major stream crossed by I-35 has a spanish name (including the Leon River in Temple, which means "Lion" in Spanish). Many were named for patron saints by Roman Catholic Spanish and Latin-American settlers. Interestingly, the Colorado River and the Red River are both named the "Red River", just in different languages.
I mention the rivers, because almost each one has a town that gets its name from the river, San Antonio included. Some of these towns, such as San Marcos, are located near or around the springs that form the headwaters of their namesake stream. San Marcos is an interesting example of both a name that is derived from a landscape feature as well as a historical reference to when Franciscan settlers apparently found the springs on Saint Mark's day in 1755. Others examples include Blanco, west of San Marcos, which is named for the Blanco river which gets its name from the white limestone rocks that form the bed of the clear stream, and Seguin to the east, which is a historical nod to Texas revolutionary hero Juan N. Seguin. Others such as El Paso (located in a mountain pass), Presidio (named for the historic Spanish fort nearby) and Del Rio (which is next to the Rio Grande) are more self-explanatory. There are also a substantial number of settlements with German names given by German settlers, especially in Central and South-Central Texas. Conversely, in North Texas, there are a significant number of towns, such as Waxahachie, whose current names have Native American origins.
Finally, there are plenty of names of towns in Texas that sound strange, or just are strange, and do not have a straightforward surface explanation. There are a couple I can think of that are simply literary references. Tarzan, Texas is a tiny speck of a place (population 80) on a flat highway west of Big Spring in West Texas. I remember it having a few buildings and a shop that repairs and services oil pump jacks. According to the Handbook of Texas: a settler by the name of Tant Lindsay "submitted a list of possible town names to the post office department. Postal officials chose Tarzan and made Lindsay the first postmaster."
Probably much more famous is Marfa located on a wide plateau in the mountainous Big Bend Region, a town that is well-known for its size due mainly to the presence of a continual community of artists from all over the world that have relocated (or spent time) there since Donald Judd moved there in 1971. The odd name is either derived from a character in the Jules Verne novel Michael Strogoff according to an article from the time in the Galveston Daily News, or Fyodor Dostoyevsky's The Brothers Karamazov, which apparently the railroad director's wife was reading at the time the town was founded. Having her be the town's name-giver isn't so far fetched because apparently railroad builders in some cases liked to name towns after their wives.
There are plenty of other examples of oddly named cities in Texas such as perhaps the most Texan name of all: Gun Barrel City, as well as Muleshoe, Zorn (a little town between San Marcos and Seguin named for a settler whose name roughly translates to "Anger" in German), Oatmeal (in Burnet County) and Wink (near the New Mexico state line). Some cities were originally given names that are far different than they have today. Austin, for example, was originally called "Waterloo", which is why you see so many references to the name in the city today such as Waterloo Park and Waterloo Records.
Now if I could only figure out where the name Austin comes from.
In most counties, there are anywhere from a few to a couple of dozen municipalities. While some of these towns have typical American city names, such as Franklin, Vernon or Columbus, there are quite a few that are far more interesting. In almost any given Texas county, you can find a town or city whose name stands out...even in a state that has a significant share of towns with interesting, descriptive, or downright weird names.
The names I tend to notice and like the most seem to fall into specific categories. They're named after physical features in or near the town, they're in Spanish (and thus a reference to a settlement's age going back to the days of Spanish and Mexican settlement of the Southwest), or they have some kind of connection to a mythical character or story (and names like this, thus, have a story behind them).
Towns named after physical features have a connection through that name to their landscape. Two that I always think of are not even named after features that are all that impressive. Flower Mound, now a booming suburb of Dallas, is named after a small mound covered with flowers just to the east of the original settlement. Round Rock, now a similarly booming suburb of Austin that is transforming into a city in its own right, is named for a, well, round boulder that is found on the shore of Brushy Creek in the original part of town.
There are others, of course. One of my favorites is a small settlement that I've never actually been to called "Notrees" west of Midland. In an almost theological fashion, it's named not for something, but for the absence of it. According to legend, when a settler was picking a name for the place, the lack of trees in the surrounding landscape was so prominent that he found it to be the best description of the place. Apparently the town actually had one native tree before 100% of the community's trees were removed in the construction of a large gas plant.
I like names that are in Spanish because they sound cool, and they can be both a reference to history or to physical landscapes as well. There are plenty of them, especially in the south half of Texas. Spanish settlers only pushed so far before the landscape's difficulties became too much of a barrier for extensive settlement. The footprint they've left can be seen in the gradual transition of river and creek names in Texas from English to Spanish as you drive south in I-35, with the Brazos river (named for it's many arms in West Texas that collect to form the giant river) being the northernmost prominent one. From Waco south, every major stream crossed by I-35 has a spanish name (including the Leon River in Temple, which means "Lion" in Spanish). Many were named for patron saints by Roman Catholic Spanish and Latin-American settlers. Interestingly, the Colorado River and the Red River are both named the "Red River", just in different languages.
I mention the rivers, because almost each one has a town that gets its name from the river, San Antonio included. Some of these towns, such as San Marcos, are located near or around the springs that form the headwaters of their namesake stream. San Marcos is an interesting example of both a name that is derived from a landscape feature as well as a historical reference to when Franciscan settlers apparently found the springs on Saint Mark's day in 1755. Others examples include Blanco, west of San Marcos, which is named for the Blanco river which gets its name from the white limestone rocks that form the bed of the clear stream, and Seguin to the east, which is a historical nod to Texas revolutionary hero Juan N. Seguin. Others such as El Paso (located in a mountain pass), Presidio (named for the historic Spanish fort nearby) and Del Rio (which is next to the Rio Grande) are more self-explanatory. There are also a substantial number of settlements with German names given by German settlers, especially in Central and South-Central Texas. Conversely, in North Texas, there are a significant number of towns, such as Waxahachie, whose current names have Native American origins.
Finally, there are plenty of names of towns in Texas that sound strange, or just are strange, and do not have a straightforward surface explanation. There are a couple I can think of that are simply literary references. Tarzan, Texas is a tiny speck of a place (population 80) on a flat highway west of Big Spring in West Texas. I remember it having a few buildings and a shop that repairs and services oil pump jacks. According to the Handbook of Texas: a settler by the name of Tant Lindsay "submitted a list of possible town names to the post office department. Postal officials chose Tarzan and made Lindsay the first postmaster."
Probably much more famous is Marfa located on a wide plateau in the mountainous Big Bend Region, a town that is well-known for its size due mainly to the presence of a continual community of artists from all over the world that have relocated (or spent time) there since Donald Judd moved there in 1971. The odd name is either derived from a character in the Jules Verne novel Michael Strogoff according to an article from the time in the Galveston Daily News, or Fyodor Dostoyevsky's The Brothers Karamazov, which apparently the railroad director's wife was reading at the time the town was founded. Having her be the town's name-giver isn't so far fetched because apparently railroad builders in some cases liked to name towns after their wives.
There are plenty of other examples of oddly named cities in Texas such as perhaps the most Texan name of all: Gun Barrel City, as well as Muleshoe, Zorn (a little town between San Marcos and Seguin named for a settler whose name roughly translates to "Anger" in German), Oatmeal (in Burnet County) and Wink (near the New Mexico state line). Some cities were originally given names that are far different than they have today. Austin, for example, was originally called "Waterloo", which is why you see so many references to the name in the city today such as Waterloo Park and Waterloo Records.
Now if I could only figure out where the name Austin comes from.
Monday, April 20, 2009
So Sick, So Sick of being Tired...
The bro-bar next to the Coffee Pot (Dillinger's: a "killer club") is playing Taking Back Sunday's "Tell All Your Friends" album. This is confusing me on a number of levels. They usually play the kind of music that reminds you of why you stopped listening to the radio. At the moment, they're playing something that I used to listen to constantly, and is now relegated to semi-ironic nostalgic listenings in the car with other people who also listened to the album constantly 5 years ago.
But, aside from two specific establishments (the other one starts with the letter "N-" ends with "-ephew's"...the name says it all), I really like the San Marcos Square. Aside from being a classic Back to the Future style town square, it has other merits in that it's alive during the day (with regular activities) and at night with food and beverage (mostly beverage) consumption. Yeah, it's no 6th Street, but that means less vomit and horse poop. I'll talk more about 6th street in an upcoming post about the things that I actually *don't* like in Austin (unlike most things about the city, which I do like). I was reminded of how refreshingly nice our square is when I visited my old-stomping grounds of Temple (or driving grounds, more accurately, because you were chained to your car there). Downtown Temple has been renevated somewhat, but is still one of the most uninteresting places on Earth...desptie the fact that the city is significantly larger than San Marcos. See also: Bryan, Texas.
I guess my pain point is that cities large and small need to move back downtown...it's great to have stuff going on in the middle of town. No matter what town you're talking about. I think the health of a city is greatly tied too how healthy it is not just in the downtown area, but in the surrounding areas. This is one way in which Austin (on the large scale) and San Marcos (on the small scale) prove to be excellent.
Peace and queso,
- Jordan
But, aside from two specific establishments (the other one starts with the letter "N-" ends with "-ephew's"...the name says it all), I really like the San Marcos Square. Aside from being a classic Back to the Future style town square, it has other merits in that it's alive during the day (with regular activities) and at night with food and beverage (mostly beverage) consumption. Yeah, it's no 6th Street, but that means less vomit and horse poop. I'll talk more about 6th street in an upcoming post about the things that I actually *don't* like in Austin (unlike most things about the city, which I do like). I was reminded of how refreshingly nice our square is when I visited my old-stomping grounds of Temple (or driving grounds, more accurately, because you were chained to your car there). Downtown Temple has been renevated somewhat, but is still one of the most uninteresting places on Earth...desptie the fact that the city is significantly larger than San Marcos. See also: Bryan, Texas.
I guess my pain point is that cities large and small need to move back downtown...it's great to have stuff going on in the middle of town. No matter what town you're talking about. I think the health of a city is greatly tied too how healthy it is not just in the downtown area, but in the surrounding areas. This is one way in which Austin (on the large scale) and San Marcos (on the small scale) prove to be excellent.
Peace and queso,
- Jordan
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
In Defense of My Friends in San Marcos who Ride Fixed Gear Bikes
This note is written as a response to this opinion column published in the University Star on Wednesday, Feb. 25, 2009. I felt compelled to write it so that there will be a defense coming from someone who also does not ride a fixed gear bike, but obviously has a far different (and substantially more qualified) impression of the lives, attitudes and character of those in San Marcos who chose to do so, several of whom I consider to be close friends, and two of which are my roommates.
Link to article: http://star.txstate.edu/content/fixed-gear-biking-just-useless-fad
---
In Defense of SM-Fixed
- Jordan Stewart
March 3, 2009
San Marcos-
I should begin by clarifying that I do not have a fixed gear bike. I do not plan on ever having one. However, I am friends with more than several people that ride fixed and I hang out with them regularly. Many of my other closer friends who do not ride fixed (or even bikes at all) are friends with, and hang out, with those same fixed gear riders. How can this be you ask? Aren't they a snobby self-absorbed fad-crazed group of nihilistic snobs?
I think what has been forgotten here is that maybe every "group" in San Marcos isn't exactly like those similar groups in larger cities like N.Y. or San Francisco (or anywhere in the U.S.). Maybe, just maybe, being San Martians and all, they're concerned about not leaving people out or being so superficial as to base their friendships on what people own, not on who they are. Here's the deal, the people described in this article are nothing...nothing at all like the guys that I am friends with, and go to gatherings with and friends that I see almost every day.
I also understand that, considering the tone with which this article was written, invoking NASCAR and the confederate flag has no purpose except to be as insulting as possible. It’s also so absurd that it really takes away from whatever point it is that is trying to be made (I can only get a vague sense of one, to be honest). The same can be said for UGG boots. Attempts to use this imagery are only done to cast a completely unrelated group in a negative tone. This can be a brilliant Karl Rove style (see, I just did it) tactic in political advertising and campaigning…but is ill-suited here unless the purpose is simply to stir up emotionally-seated animosity toward the fixed gear crew here among the general “enlightened” populace.
Here’s a quick geography lesson that I think will help with this: Higher order places (i.e. Los Angeles) dominate and influence lower order centers (i.e. Austin…which in turn culturally, economically and politically influences San Marcos). It perfectly logical to think that activities enjoyed by larger groups in larger cities (i.e. San Francisco and New York), might also be enjoyed by smaller groups in smaller cities such as the Austin-Central Texas area. One of these things enjoyed by people in both larger and smaller cities could be fixed gear bikes. It shouldn’t be a shock that people in smaller cities look to bigger cities for inspiration and ideas…that’s how it’s almost always worked in almost ever facet of life. This is made possible through the magic of technology, namely the internet…which makes places like Austin culturally capable of a lot more connectivity with other cities that it may have much in common with (such as Portland) than it used to because of the distance between the cities.
What's strange is that, after verbally flogging the San Marcos fixed gear riders with a scornful lashing of stinging insults and bewilderingly vague behavioral condemnation...the article becomes very self-engrossed and morphs into a verbose pat on the back to the author and his own “evolved” choice of bike. In fact, it takes on a tone that is almost purposefully like the kind of supposed attitude that the author feels is reflected by the fixed gear community in San Marcos towards himself and toward others. This came across as extremely odd.
I have never caught dirty looks from kids on fixed gear bikes when I am walking or riding my own second-hand road bike (being friends with many of them may also be a reason for the absence of malicious stares)...and I firmly believe that the impression that the fixed gear riders here are some sort of stuck-up clique are extremely unfair and inaccurate...and I know this because it is proven to me every day. In fact, some of the most inclusive people I know can be seen skidding (safely and skillfully with no brakes needed) to stops all over San Marcos and Austin. You could also, for a moment, consider the fact that the physical exertion sometimes needed to ride a bike on one of the hilliest college campuses anywhere might lead to some strange strained facial expressions, especially after riding uphill for a while. I theorize that most of the time these tired looks are not anything personally directed against the author.
I could go on a point by point rebuttal...but I'll save that for something else, and I am also giving the benefit of the doubt to the possibility that this is just some weird social-experiment. Even if it is, the amount of (I feel) undeserved consternation, drama and strife that it is creating in our extremely laid-back and comparatively peaceful town is not at all justified...even if this is just a big ruse. But, even if that’s the case, no matter how funny the punch-line is…it’s not worth sitting through the painful and aggravating reading of the joke…or the unneeded discord that it has brought.
Thanks for reading this, and I hope it makes an impact on anyone who doesn't know or respect these guys as much as I do.
Peace and queso,
- Jordan
Link to article: http://star.txstate.edu/content/fixed-gear-biking-just-useless-fad
---
In Defense of SM-Fixed
- Jordan Stewart
March 3, 2009
San Marcos-
I should begin by clarifying that I do not have a fixed gear bike. I do not plan on ever having one. However, I am friends with more than several people that ride fixed and I hang out with them regularly. Many of my other closer friends who do not ride fixed (or even bikes at all) are friends with, and hang out, with those same fixed gear riders. How can this be you ask? Aren't they a snobby self-absorbed fad-crazed group of nihilistic snobs?
I think what has been forgotten here is that maybe every "group" in San Marcos isn't exactly like those similar groups in larger cities like N.Y. or San Francisco (or anywhere in the U.S.). Maybe, just maybe, being San Martians and all, they're concerned about not leaving people out or being so superficial as to base their friendships on what people own, not on who they are. Here's the deal, the people described in this article are nothing...nothing at all like the guys that I am friends with, and go to gatherings with and friends that I see almost every day.
I also understand that, considering the tone with which this article was written, invoking NASCAR and the confederate flag has no purpose except to be as insulting as possible. It’s also so absurd that it really takes away from whatever point it is that is trying to be made (I can only get a vague sense of one, to be honest). The same can be said for UGG boots. Attempts to use this imagery are only done to cast a completely unrelated group in a negative tone. This can be a brilliant Karl Rove style (see, I just did it) tactic in political advertising and campaigning…but is ill-suited here unless the purpose is simply to stir up emotionally-seated animosity toward the fixed gear crew here among the general “enlightened” populace.
Here’s a quick geography lesson that I think will help with this: Higher order places (i.e. Los Angeles) dominate and influence lower order centers (i.e. Austin…which in turn culturally, economically and politically influences San Marcos). It perfectly logical to think that activities enjoyed by larger groups in larger cities (i.e. San Francisco and New York), might also be enjoyed by smaller groups in smaller cities such as the Austin-Central Texas area. One of these things enjoyed by people in both larger and smaller cities could be fixed gear bikes. It shouldn’t be a shock that people in smaller cities look to bigger cities for inspiration and ideas…that’s how it’s almost always worked in almost ever facet of life. This is made possible through the magic of technology, namely the internet…which makes places like Austin culturally capable of a lot more connectivity with other cities that it may have much in common with (such as Portland) than it used to because of the distance between the cities.
What's strange is that, after verbally flogging the San Marcos fixed gear riders with a scornful lashing of stinging insults and bewilderingly vague behavioral condemnation...the article becomes very self-engrossed and morphs into a verbose pat on the back to the author and his own “evolved” choice of bike. In fact, it takes on a tone that is almost purposefully like the kind of supposed attitude that the author feels is reflected by the fixed gear community in San Marcos towards himself and toward others. This came across as extremely odd.
I have never caught dirty looks from kids on fixed gear bikes when I am walking or riding my own second-hand road bike (being friends with many of them may also be a reason for the absence of malicious stares)...and I firmly believe that the impression that the fixed gear riders here are some sort of stuck-up clique are extremely unfair and inaccurate...and I know this because it is proven to me every day. In fact, some of the most inclusive people I know can be seen skidding (safely and skillfully with no brakes needed) to stops all over San Marcos and Austin. You could also, for a moment, consider the fact that the physical exertion sometimes needed to ride a bike on one of the hilliest college campuses anywhere might lead to some strange strained facial expressions, especially after riding uphill for a while. I theorize that most of the time these tired looks are not anything personally directed against the author.
I could go on a point by point rebuttal...but I'll save that for something else, and I am also giving the benefit of the doubt to the possibility that this is just some weird social-experiment. Even if it is, the amount of (I feel) undeserved consternation, drama and strife that it is creating in our extremely laid-back and comparatively peaceful town is not at all justified...even if this is just a big ruse. But, even if that’s the case, no matter how funny the punch-line is…it’s not worth sitting through the painful and aggravating reading of the joke…or the unneeded discord that it has brought.
Thanks for reading this, and I hope it makes an impact on anyone who doesn't know or respect these guys as much as I do.
Peace and queso,
- Jordan
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
This Place is a Prison, and these People Aren't Your Friends
"...Oh dear God, what a tangled web we weave..."
- At the Drive In
I've often thought of the prospect of writing about Facebook...on Facebook...as being either kind of lame, or simply a reflection of a lack of ideas of things to write about that are actually substantive. However, I've realized something about this weird place inhabited by 150,000,000 people (and rapidly growing) that I think is actually worth knowing. Also, a few small-time publications have been writing about Facebook lately, such as Newsweek... which featured one of their writers announcing that he was quitting Facebook ...on the pages of the internationally read magazine's website...as well as Time Magazine's recent Twenty-five Things I Didn't Want to Know About You... which featured a "reporter" complaining about the sudden omnipresence of the "25 'random' things about me" lists that have been multiplying faster than the woman in L.A. who just had fertility-science assisted Octuplets...to follow up on having 6 previous kids.
My reason, unlike the aforementioned professional journalist-types, for writing about the Face-maze, is that I have finally found something in the tangible and physical world that we still (yes, even you World of Warcraft kids) actually inhabit that I can use to describe exactly what Facebook is. And that real-life concept is that of the panopticon. Now, I could go ahead and explain what a panopticon is, but instead I'm just going to discuss the concept through some observations I've had during the 4 or 5 years I've been on Facebook...and watching the steadily eroding remnants of anonymity as it has gone from it's original status as the secure and relatively "private" and controlled college alternative to MySpace to a wide-open anyone can join slightly less jumbled and sleazy alternative to Myspace. I guess another alternative that you, the reader, has is clicking on the link I just posted. But, realistically, who clicks on hyperlinks before they finish reading an article? And who really bothers to finish articles with lots of hyperlinks in almost every sentence. They're ultimately there to back up what I'm saying, but for the most part they're there to make me look smart for having found them and put them there.
The thing that has gradually become more and more unnerving to me is the propensity to gain a feeling that hardly anyone knows what I'm doing or saying when I write one someone's facebook wall or announce something on an event page. But, in reality, that statement is immediately accessible to all of my "friends" on Facebook, as well as anyone on Facebook who is in the Austin, TX network (because I have, perhaps mistakenly, enabled my privacy settings to allow that). There is a stream of warnings and stories in the online popular press and on blogs about people being fired for posting things on Facebook that, were they thinking more prudently, they shouldn't have. One survey found that managers doing background searches on potential hires have had their jobs made much easier through the easy ability to research those candidates on social networking sites, mainly MySpace and Facebook. According to the survey, roughly one third of those searches lead to instant rejections due to the overtly personal content that is often posted on those sites. Additionally, there is little substantial legislation on any level in the United States concerning limiting employers ability to consider Facebook pages and other online information when selecting among job applicants. With this in mind, I am often amazed at the sheer amount of potentially career damaging information people place on Facebook. It is even more amazing to me than the amount of personal contact info that is submitted to the site. I'm guilty of the, but not so much of the first part...although with the ability for anyone to tag anyone in a photo on Facebook, it's becoming harder for anyone to keep personal indiscretions from being documented on the site...even if they are not actually "on Facebook" themselves. However, I have certainly fallen victim to the panoptical nature of Facebook by saying rather personal things on people's public walls, instead of sending them a message. It is easy, it seems, to be lulled into equating public Facebook interaction with private conversations...and this is assisted by the ever more intrusive Facebook "news feed"...which caused a tremendous amount of controversy on the site when it suddenly and without much warning began altering the "friends" of everyone on Facebook to almost every single thing that their other "friends" were doing or saying publicly...even if a lot of those things were done within a context that treated them as at least "semi-private", which naturally adds a level of sensitivity to what is being said, even if it is in all reality completely public among that person's community of friends.
I'm not the first person to bring up the concept of a "participatory panopticon" in reference to the online world. However, the moment I found out what the word meant after seeing it used in an interview, and then looking it up, I immediately thought of Facebook. The word panopticon was derived from the name of a style of prison designed by an English social theorist. Inmates of such a prison are led to believe by the design of the circular building that they are sometimes living in relative privacy, when in reality then can and for the most part would be under constant surveillance. Like someone behind a one-sided mirror (or a suspect who's phone may or may not be bugged by investigators), the prisoners are unable to tell when exactly they are or are not being watched. Clearly, an obvious allusion to Facebook in that a user cannot tell who else is looking, or has looked at, the page on which they are writing some piece of personal information. Likewise, almost anyone in your "networks" (in my case, Texas State University and Austin, TX) may or may not have looked at your page in the last hour. There is no way to tell for sure...you can limited the viewing of your Facebook page to only people who you have accepted as friends on the site, but you still can't tell how they are observing you. Despite this, many people (including myself) often operate on Facebook as if they only people that are cognizant of that they are communicating is they and the person they are communicating with. And, with the expansion of Facebook to older generations who previously avoided much in the way of online social-networking, more and more parents, teachers and bosses will be aware of what their underlings are doing when they're "not around". The fact that interview advice sources have to tell people to take their half-naked drunken pictures off of facebook is a sign, not just of mass stupidity, but of the fact that the panoptical nature of Facebook is much stronger than a lot of people realize. Also, concern exists that Facebook may be (or already is) taking advantage of the taking advantage of the vast store of personal information (age, phone numbers, interests, addresses and the like) that the site's millions of users (including myself) have freely provided to them over the past 5 to 6 years, by using data mining to enhance "targeted" advertisement sales. Some have gone so far as to speculate that Facebook is working with the Department of Homeland Security and the C.I.A. and allowing those agencies to mine their data in order to hunt down subversive and/or terrorist groups in the U.S. These allegations are less substantiated and may be the result of something understandably and psychologically common to those inside of a panopticon, which is paranoia. Still, who knows the limits to which information on the internet is actually safe from outside parties.
The reality is that, in this participatory panopticon in which we have, en mass, placed ourselves, we can never be sure as to who is watching. I'm not the type to lose sleep over this sort of thing, but I do like to point it out because so many go about their daily lives on Facebook as if no one, not even their friends, are watching them at a given point in time. I'm okay with it for now because I am beginning to see this as one of the most fascinating social-changes in the recent history of human life in Planet Earth. And, of course, we are all free to cut away from Facebook at any time. But, there seems to be a protective culture among many facebook users that I have observed that reminds me of my favorite episode of the Simpsons: the one involving the Movementarians, the cult that Homer Simpson signs up his family to join...where anyone who tries to leave is met with a bright-light shining on them and a loud voice saying "you're free to leave at any time, but would you mind telling us why?...". [JS]
- At the Drive In
I've often thought of the prospect of writing about Facebook...on Facebook...as being either kind of lame, or simply a reflection of a lack of ideas of things to write about that are actually substantive. However, I've realized something about this weird place inhabited by 150,000,000 people (and rapidly growing) that I think is actually worth knowing. Also, a few small-time publications have been writing about Facebook lately, such as Newsweek... which featured one of their writers announcing that he was quitting Facebook ...on the pages of the internationally read magazine's website...as well as Time Magazine's recent Twenty-five Things I Didn't Want to Know About You... which featured a "reporter" complaining about the sudden omnipresence of the "25 'random' things about me" lists that have been multiplying faster than the woman in L.A. who just had fertility-science assisted Octuplets...to follow up on having 6 previous kids.
My reason, unlike the aforementioned professional journalist-types, for writing about the Face-maze, is that I have finally found something in the tangible and physical world that we still (yes, even you World of Warcraft kids) actually inhabit that I can use to describe exactly what Facebook is. And that real-life concept is that of the panopticon. Now, I could go ahead and explain what a panopticon is, but instead I'm just going to discuss the concept through some observations I've had during the 4 or 5 years I've been on Facebook...and watching the steadily eroding remnants of anonymity as it has gone from it's original status as the secure and relatively "private" and controlled college alternative to MySpace to a wide-open anyone can join slightly less jumbled and sleazy alternative to Myspace. I guess another alternative that you, the reader, has is clicking on the link I just posted. But, realistically, who clicks on hyperlinks before they finish reading an article? And who really bothers to finish articles with lots of hyperlinks in almost every sentence. They're ultimately there to back up what I'm saying, but for the most part they're there to make me look smart for having found them and put them there.
The thing that has gradually become more and more unnerving to me is the propensity to gain a feeling that hardly anyone knows what I'm doing or saying when I write one someone's facebook wall or announce something on an event page. But, in reality, that statement is immediately accessible to all of my "friends" on Facebook, as well as anyone on Facebook who is in the Austin, TX network (because I have, perhaps mistakenly, enabled my privacy settings to allow that). There is a stream of warnings and stories in the online popular press and on blogs about people being fired for posting things on Facebook that, were they thinking more prudently, they shouldn't have. One survey found that managers doing background searches on potential hires have had their jobs made much easier through the easy ability to research those candidates on social networking sites, mainly MySpace and Facebook. According to the survey, roughly one third of those searches lead to instant rejections due to the overtly personal content that is often posted on those sites. Additionally, there is little substantial legislation on any level in the United States concerning limiting employers ability to consider Facebook pages and other online information when selecting among job applicants. With this in mind, I am often amazed at the sheer amount of potentially career damaging information people place on Facebook. It is even more amazing to me than the amount of personal contact info that is submitted to the site. I'm guilty of the, but not so much of the first part...although with the ability for anyone to tag anyone in a photo on Facebook, it's becoming harder for anyone to keep personal indiscretions from being documented on the site...even if they are not actually "on Facebook" themselves. However, I have certainly fallen victim to the panoptical nature of Facebook by saying rather personal things on people's public walls, instead of sending them a message. It is easy, it seems, to be lulled into equating public Facebook interaction with private conversations...and this is assisted by the ever more intrusive Facebook "news feed"...which caused a tremendous amount of controversy on the site when it suddenly and without much warning began altering the "friends" of everyone on Facebook to almost every single thing that their other "friends" were doing or saying publicly...even if a lot of those things were done within a context that treated them as at least "semi-private", which naturally adds a level of sensitivity to what is being said, even if it is in all reality completely public among that person's community of friends.
I'm not the first person to bring up the concept of a "participatory panopticon" in reference to the online world. However, the moment I found out what the word meant after seeing it used in an interview, and then looking it up, I immediately thought of Facebook. The word panopticon was derived from the name of a style of prison designed by an English social theorist. Inmates of such a prison are led to believe by the design of the circular building that they are sometimes living in relative privacy, when in reality then can and for the most part would be under constant surveillance. Like someone behind a one-sided mirror (or a suspect who's phone may or may not be bugged by investigators), the prisoners are unable to tell when exactly they are or are not being watched. Clearly, an obvious allusion to Facebook in that a user cannot tell who else is looking, or has looked at, the page on which they are writing some piece of personal information. Likewise, almost anyone in your "networks" (in my case, Texas State University and Austin, TX) may or may not have looked at your page in the last hour. There is no way to tell for sure...you can limited the viewing of your Facebook page to only people who you have accepted as friends on the site, but you still can't tell how they are observing you. Despite this, many people (including myself) often operate on Facebook as if they only people that are cognizant of that they are communicating is they and the person they are communicating with. And, with the expansion of Facebook to older generations who previously avoided much in the way of online social-networking, more and more parents, teachers and bosses will be aware of what their underlings are doing when they're "not around". The fact that interview advice sources have to tell people to take their half-naked drunken pictures off of facebook is a sign, not just of mass stupidity, but of the fact that the panoptical nature of Facebook is much stronger than a lot of people realize. Also, concern exists that Facebook may be (or already is) taking advantage of the taking advantage of the vast store of personal information (age, phone numbers, interests, addresses and the like) that the site's millions of users (including myself) have freely provided to them over the past 5 to 6 years, by using data mining to enhance "targeted" advertisement sales. Some have gone so far as to speculate that Facebook is working with the Department of Homeland Security and the C.I.A. and allowing those agencies to mine their data in order to hunt down subversive and/or terrorist groups in the U.S. These allegations are less substantiated and may be the result of something understandably and psychologically common to those inside of a panopticon, which is paranoia. Still, who knows the limits to which information on the internet is actually safe from outside parties.
The reality is that, in this participatory panopticon in which we have, en mass, placed ourselves, we can never be sure as to who is watching. I'm not the type to lose sleep over this sort of thing, but I do like to point it out because so many go about their daily lives on Facebook as if no one, not even their friends, are watching them at a given point in time. I'm okay with it for now because I am beginning to see this as one of the most fascinating social-changes in the recent history of human life in Planet Earth. And, of course, we are all free to cut away from Facebook at any time. But, there seems to be a protective culture among many facebook users that I have observed that reminds me of my favorite episode of the Simpsons: the one involving the Movementarians, the cult that Homer Simpson signs up his family to join...where anyone who tries to leave is met with a bright-light shining on them and a loud voice saying "you're free to leave at any time, but would you mind telling us why?...". [JS]
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Maybe I'm Being Selfish, Maybe I'm Just Scared
The idea of romantic love seems so fictional to me right now.
Every girl I know that I could see myself dating is either taken, or doesn't seem to think I exist...until they are dating someone. What is it that scares them away from me? Or maybe I'm the one who's scared.
And now here comes Valentines Day". The day pushed by corporate America to make up for the post-Christmas lull by guilt tripping people to spend a lot of money on their significant other...because "it's Valentines Day". Or, if you're single you're supposed to find a date to spend money on, even if you never talk to that person again. Or...if you can't find a date you're supposed to feel miserable and less important and less of a human being because you don't have a date on Valentine's Day. It's so fucked up. I've never had a date on Valentines Day. I don't know why, that's just the way things have happen. I've dated people (not all that much but I have), but not on Valentines Day.
People have been telling me that "God has someone out there for me"...and they're very well meaning for doing so...but since that has tortuously failed to ever fully materialize, does that mean I blame God for it? It doesn't make sense. I don't know why I write these notes. I hate them, but I'm so miserable ultimately deep down about it that I can't just talk about it. And I don't think that people understand, although I'm sure they do. I just have a more long-term case with this than most.
I know that "dating around" isn't a solution. I'm afraid that more and more I'm going to look for a solution in temporary stuff that is not satisfying. But then, I'm also incredibly fearful and I need someone to be with who understands that and knows how to calm that fear. I've only had experience with girls that are nerve-wracking to date (but I still cared about them enough to put myself through the emotional roller coaster of hell that it was) because they are so "unsure if this is for real" and then suddenly it's not real and I'm left in the cold. I always feel embarrassed after writing these because I'm just admitting to being a loser...or something...either way my pride takes a hit with each revealing note. I need an outlet for this. I need somebody to love me more than someone who is simply a "great friend" can love me. I need to love someone. I pour so much time into my friends because they're all I have, but I still can't share everything with them.
I thought this would be prolonged when I came back to San Marcos. For some reason, this place seems devoid of girls with which I could actually connect with well enough to have a relationship with...well, those that I know I could are flat out taken...or maybe I've tried with them already and it didn't work. Most of the girls I've met that I could see myself having a chance with (and it being a good match) are in other places. It's sad. It sucks. I don't know what to do. I'm just getting older...and, like for Matthew McConaghey's character noted in Dazed and Confused...the girls "stay the same age". That's good for a creep but not so much for me. I don't know what girls think of me. I don't know anything about how I come off to them. I think they're scared of me, and the only reason I am friends with girls when they're already in relationships is because they're safely in a relationship.
Dammit I hate writing about this. Why am I doing this? I feel like I've wasted years of my life on dwelling on thoughts like this.
Goodnight.
- Jordan
Every girl I know that I could see myself dating is either taken, or doesn't seem to think I exist...until they are dating someone. What is it that scares them away from me? Or maybe I'm the one who's scared.
And now here comes Valentines Day". The day pushed by corporate America to make up for the post-Christmas lull by guilt tripping people to spend a lot of money on their significant other...because "it's Valentines Day". Or, if you're single you're supposed to find a date to spend money on, even if you never talk to that person again. Or...if you can't find a date you're supposed to feel miserable and less important and less of a human being because you don't have a date on Valentine's Day. It's so fucked up. I've never had a date on Valentines Day. I don't know why, that's just the way things have happen. I've dated people (not all that much but I have), but not on Valentines Day.
People have been telling me that "God has someone out there for me"...and they're very well meaning for doing so...but since that has tortuously failed to ever fully materialize, does that mean I blame God for it? It doesn't make sense. I don't know why I write these notes. I hate them, but I'm so miserable ultimately deep down about it that I can't just talk about it. And I don't think that people understand, although I'm sure they do. I just have a more long-term case with this than most.
I know that "dating around" isn't a solution. I'm afraid that more and more I'm going to look for a solution in temporary stuff that is not satisfying. But then, I'm also incredibly fearful and I need someone to be with who understands that and knows how to calm that fear. I've only had experience with girls that are nerve-wracking to date (but I still cared about them enough to put myself through the emotional roller coaster of hell that it was) because they are so "unsure if this is for real" and then suddenly it's not real and I'm left in the cold. I always feel embarrassed after writing these because I'm just admitting to being a loser...or something...either way my pride takes a hit with each revealing note. I need an outlet for this. I need somebody to love me more than someone who is simply a "great friend" can love me. I need to love someone. I pour so much time into my friends because they're all I have, but I still can't share everything with them.
I thought this would be prolonged when I came back to San Marcos. For some reason, this place seems devoid of girls with which I could actually connect with well enough to have a relationship with...well, those that I know I could are flat out taken...or maybe I've tried with them already and it didn't work. Most of the girls I've met that I could see myself having a chance with (and it being a good match) are in other places. It's sad. It sucks. I don't know what to do. I'm just getting older...and, like for Matthew McConaghey's character noted in Dazed and Confused...the girls "stay the same age". That's good for a creep but not so much for me. I don't know what girls think of me. I don't know anything about how I come off to them. I think they're scared of me, and the only reason I am friends with girls when they're already in relationships is because they're safely in a relationship.
Dammit I hate writing about this. Why am I doing this? I feel like I've wasted years of my life on dwelling on thoughts like this.
Goodnight.
- Jordan
Monday, January 26, 2009
I Didn't Understand
I am coming to terms with the fact that some (a lot of) people think very differently than me and always will. As such, I have decided I will probably never understand the following:
- Why some people stay inside when they're not working and don't have much else to do and it's a really nice day
- Why some people playing video games all of the time instead of having a consistent social life or passing their classes
- Why some value nothing over how much money they make or will make someday
- Why some never question why the believe what they believe, or vote the way they do (if they vote)
- Why some don't think voting is at all important
- Why girls often date douchebags and shy away from guys who would actually treat them like a human being (same goes for some guys with girls I guess)
- Why dude-bros and others think driving a big truck enlarges their manhood in anyway
- Dude-bros in general
- Why some people flat out hate the environment, and any policy that preserves any part of it
- The idiots who think Barack Obama is somehow a Muslim
- Racism in general
- Why so many people "only watch Fox News". I'm a liberal and I don't just watch MSNBC. Sometimes I even check out what extreme-right wing thing that Fox News is saying.
- Why some refuse to read things that they think they will disagree with. "The sign of an educated mind is the ability to entertain a thought without accepting it."
- The general anti-intellectualism that is holding sway over a good part of the electorate (especially the modern GOP - For example, see: "Sarah Palin was qualified to be President")
- Why Fall Out Boy is so popular...I really don't understand it
- Why some would rather eat at IHOP than Kerbey Lane or Magnolia Cafe
- Why some don't see the importance of supporting the few local businesses we have left in any given city (it's a suburban mentality, but I didn't really grow up in the suburbs)
- Those who lack a sense of humor in most areas
- Street racing (killed one of my best friends who was innocent, an ultimate form of narcissism)
- People who don't understand why the "N-word" is offensive to a lot of people, or don't understand the history of civil rights and racism in the U.S. in general. See also: people who refuse to admit the Civil War was primarily about slavery so as to feel better about thinking that the South was "okay". See also: people who don't see why so many people are offended by the confederate flag, or think that it should still be flown over capital buildings in places like South Carolina
- People (especially who aren't from Central Texas) that think Texas is way better than any other place in the U.S. I like to think that this part of Texas is better than most places, but is Houston better than San Diego? Or Amarillo a better place to live than Portland or the Colorado Rockies? Let's be realistic...
- People who enjoy Mexican food, driving on freeways or living in a new house, and then complain about the immigrants that made them.
- Interior state (mainly Republican) politicians like Tom Tancredo and Mitt Romney who think they know more about the border than people in TX, CA, NM and AZ.
- Why some people think onions taste good. I can't imagine the idea of onions tasting like anything other than rocky dirt soaked in urine.
- Aggies, anything about Aggies, Aggie traditions, pretty much anything about Texas A&M - Believe me, I know a lot about that place and the way it is, but to this day I still don't see the appeal.
- Why some don't understand why driving slower in the left lane of the freeway is a bad idea (for your safety, and the 50 or so cars bunching up behind the semi that you're not passing)
- How some people can believe that being poor (even in the U.S.) is somehow always a choice and that everyone is born with an equal chance to be rich (which involves equal education opportunities, but who really believes a kid in Southlake and a kid in South Dallas have an equal start?) everyone who is poor is lazy and chooses to be. It's just flat out wrong and untrue. See also: The belief that no one on welfare has a job (often they have two or three and are supporting their kids alone).
- The use of a single weather event (a hurricane, a blizzard in north Texas or a heat wave in Seattle) as evidence for or against long-term Climate change (most Global warming detractors and people like Al Gore are guilty of this). Seriously...
- The propensity for so many to believe anything the read or see on the internet
- People who move to Central Austin and complain about noise from live music venues
- How anyone that's not a vegetarian could not like In-N-Out burgers
- Oklahoma...I just don't get it
- Why some people stay inside when they're not working and don't have much else to do and it's a really nice day
- Why some people playing video games all of the time instead of having a consistent social life or passing their classes
- Why some value nothing over how much money they make or will make someday
- Why some never question why the believe what they believe, or vote the way they do (if they vote)
- Why some don't think voting is at all important
- Why girls often date douchebags and shy away from guys who would actually treat them like a human being (same goes for some guys with girls I guess)
- Why dude-bros and others think driving a big truck enlarges their manhood in anyway
- Dude-bros in general
- Why some people flat out hate the environment, and any policy that preserves any part of it
- The idiots who think Barack Obama is somehow a Muslim
- Racism in general
- Why so many people "only watch Fox News". I'm a liberal and I don't just watch MSNBC. Sometimes I even check out what extreme-right wing thing that Fox News is saying.
- Why some refuse to read things that they think they will disagree with. "The sign of an educated mind is the ability to entertain a thought without accepting it."
- The general anti-intellectualism that is holding sway over a good part of the electorate (especially the modern GOP - For example, see: "Sarah Palin was qualified to be President")
- Why Fall Out Boy is so popular...I really don't understand it
- Why some would rather eat at IHOP than Kerbey Lane or Magnolia Cafe
- Why some don't see the importance of supporting the few local businesses we have left in any given city (it's a suburban mentality, but I didn't really grow up in the suburbs)
- Those who lack a sense of humor in most areas
- Street racing (killed one of my best friends who was innocent, an ultimate form of narcissism)
- People who don't understand why the "N-word" is offensive to a lot of people, or don't understand the history of civil rights and racism in the U.S. in general. See also: people who refuse to admit the Civil War was primarily about slavery so as to feel better about thinking that the South was "okay". See also: people who don't see why so many people are offended by the confederate flag, or think that it should still be flown over capital buildings in places like South Carolina
- People (especially who aren't from Central Texas) that think Texas is way better than any other place in the U.S. I like to think that this part of Texas is better than most places, but is Houston better than San Diego? Or Amarillo a better place to live than Portland or the Colorado Rockies? Let's be realistic...
- People who enjoy Mexican food, driving on freeways or living in a new house, and then complain about the immigrants that made them.
- Interior state (mainly Republican) politicians like Tom Tancredo and Mitt Romney who think they know more about the border than people in TX, CA, NM and AZ.
- Why some people think onions taste good. I can't imagine the idea of onions tasting like anything other than rocky dirt soaked in urine.
- Aggies, anything about Aggies, Aggie traditions, pretty much anything about Texas A&M - Believe me, I know a lot about that place and the way it is, but to this day I still don't see the appeal.
- Why some don't understand why driving slower in the left lane of the freeway is a bad idea (for your safety, and the 50 or so cars bunching up behind the semi that you're not passing)
- How some people can believe that being poor (even in the U.S.) is somehow always a choice and that everyone is born with an equal chance to be rich (which involves equal education opportunities, but who really believes a kid in Southlake and a kid in South Dallas have an equal start?) everyone who is poor is lazy and chooses to be. It's just flat out wrong and untrue. See also: The belief that no one on welfare has a job (often they have two or three and are supporting their kids alone).
- The use of a single weather event (a hurricane, a blizzard in north Texas or a heat wave in Seattle) as evidence for or against long-term Climate change (most Global warming detractors and people like Al Gore are guilty of this). Seriously...
- The propensity for so many to believe anything the read or see on the internet
- People who move to Central Austin and complain about noise from live music venues
- How anyone that's not a vegetarian could not like In-N-Out burgers
- Oklahoma...I just don't get it
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
To Find Someone You Love, You've Got To Be Someone You Love
I thing I learned things today, well at least I had euphonious moments today were I realized some things. It's usually stuff I already new, but either I forget about it or I decide it's not important (even if it really actually is) and then forget about it (at least temporarily).
On Jealousy
Jealousy is an awful thing. Everyone deals with it at some level. Everyone envies something. So much of the greed that rots our society (and politics) simply emanates from basic forms for envy and jealousy. I have so much in my life that I am blessed with that I know a lot of people could be jealous of...in spite of that, I deal with jealousy of things I don't have that I percieve would make my life more complete (of course, this perception is hardly reality but when in a self-absorbed state of mind it's easy to bend reality to fit with what you think you need).
When it comes to falling for the jealousy trap, which is something that can rob you of even a basic appreciation for what one has to be thankful for, there are several pitfalls that I experience. A natural one for me (and probably the most significant) is with girls and relationships. I'm not the type to be "the jealous type" in a relationship...I would want a girlfriend/wife/whatever to have other friends and have a life outside of just me. The jealousy I'm talking about is an extreme jealousy of people who are currently in successful relationships. This is not a malicious jealousy...if a friend or someone I care about is in a good relationship I want that to flourish because I want the best for that friend, which also means in the case of a bad relationship I'll be honest about how I see it, but not to the point where I would sabotage anything. In my life I have been solicited by my closest friends for relationship advice and given some surprisingly good advice that in many cases was in retrospect proven to be the right call. This, however, doesn't mean that I myself know much about what to do with my own life because my track record of starting and maintaining anything resembling a romantic relationship with someone is at best disappointing, and at worst abysmal (I see it as one or the other, depending on how good I am feeling about myself at the time).
I'm not the "jealous type" as a boyfriend, I know that for sure. I will always want my girlfriend/wife/whatever to have other friends and a life outside of just me (although of course I would want them to be as faithful to me as I would be to her). But, my lack of success (at least as society would define it) in relationships has led to the development (over year after year) of an often intense jealousy toward people in relationships (even if that relationship has obvious problems). I often feel this so strongly that it's hard to be around couples who are showing any kind of affection for each other. In fact, I have realized that this is a bigger issue for me than I originally thought. I've recognized that I get jealous feelings towards other people around me when they are simply getting attention from a cute girl, whether or not that attention is romantic in nature, or even regardless of whether I am attracted to that girl or interested in her. I feel that this is a significant problem not only to my prospects of finding someone to fully share my life with, but also with my relationships with friends or with girls that are my friends.
With this in mind, I should point out that it's difficult for me to be more than acquaintances with girls that are in a relationship with another dude. For one thing, I might be jealous. Or, I would not want to do anything that would undermine that relationship (even if I'm jealous of it). I think that due to the limited amount of time that I've spent in relationships, I have a hard time being close friends to a girl that I have things in common with or get along with without feeling romantically attracted to them at some point. It happens a lot of times (with a few notable exceptions). But, self-confidence issues and fear keep me from pursuing anything further, or worse, that girl finds someone else to be with. Or, I find out that they're with someone after starting to have feelings for them. That's the worst. Both guys and girls should be up front with friends of the opposite sex about their relationship status. It may seem like an awkward thing to talk about up front but it's far less awkward than the alternative...trust me.
My jealousy is rooted in the fear that I will never find someone to share my life with. That would be tragic. I feel that I would be a really good boyfriend etc...although I'm not perfect. No one is. That shouldn't be a standard. People are so caught up looking for the "right" guy or girl that they may simply be waiting for someone that really doesn't exist. That said, I'm not attracted to every girl I meet, and that usually has a lot more to do with personality than anything else. I may not believe in perfect matches...but everyone does have a type. I hope I am someone's type. I feel that I'm kind of a rare personality...it's hard to define or explain. Kind of like if you need a blood transplant, but have a rare blood type, it may take longer to find a match and there's a greater risk (it would seem) that you won't find another person with that match at all.
On Jealousy
Jealousy is an awful thing. Everyone deals with it at some level. Everyone envies something. So much of the greed that rots our society (and politics) simply emanates from basic forms for envy and jealousy. I have so much in my life that I am blessed with that I know a lot of people could be jealous of...in spite of that, I deal with jealousy of things I don't have that I percieve would make my life more complete (of course, this perception is hardly reality but when in a self-absorbed state of mind it's easy to bend reality to fit with what you think you need).
When it comes to falling for the jealousy trap, which is something that can rob you of even a basic appreciation for what one has to be thankful for, there are several pitfalls that I experience. A natural one for me (and probably the most significant) is with girls and relationships. I'm not the type to be "the jealous type" in a relationship...I would want a girlfriend/wife/whatever to have other friends and have a life outside of just me. The jealousy I'm talking about is an extreme jealousy of people who are currently in successful relationships. This is not a malicious jealousy...if a friend or someone I care about is in a good relationship I want that to flourish because I want the best for that friend, which also means in the case of a bad relationship I'll be honest about how I see it, but not to the point where I would sabotage anything. In my life I have been solicited by my closest friends for relationship advice and given some surprisingly good advice that in many cases was in retrospect proven to be the right call. This, however, doesn't mean that I myself know much about what to do with my own life because my track record of starting and maintaining anything resembling a romantic relationship with someone is at best disappointing, and at worst abysmal (I see it as one or the other, depending on how good I am feeling about myself at the time).
I'm not the "jealous type" as a boyfriend, I know that for sure. I will always want my girlfriend/wife/whatever to have other friends and a life outside of just me (although of course I would want them to be as faithful to me as I would be to her). But, my lack of success (at least as society would define it) in relationships has led to the development (over year after year) of an often intense jealousy toward people in relationships (even if that relationship has obvious problems). I often feel this so strongly that it's hard to be around couples who are showing any kind of affection for each other. In fact, I have realized that this is a bigger issue for me than I originally thought. I've recognized that I get jealous feelings towards other people around me when they are simply getting attention from a cute girl, whether or not that attention is romantic in nature, or even regardless of whether I am attracted to that girl or interested in her. I feel that this is a significant problem not only to my prospects of finding someone to fully share my life with, but also with my relationships with friends or with girls that are my friends.
With this in mind, I should point out that it's difficult for me to be more than acquaintances with girls that are in a relationship with another dude. For one thing, I might be jealous. Or, I would not want to do anything that would undermine that relationship (even if I'm jealous of it). I think that due to the limited amount of time that I've spent in relationships, I have a hard time being close friends to a girl that I have things in common with or get along with without feeling romantically attracted to them at some point. It happens a lot of times (with a few notable exceptions). But, self-confidence issues and fear keep me from pursuing anything further, or worse, that girl finds someone else to be with. Or, I find out that they're with someone after starting to have feelings for them. That's the worst. Both guys and girls should be up front with friends of the opposite sex about their relationship status. It may seem like an awkward thing to talk about up front but it's far less awkward than the alternative...trust me.
My jealousy is rooted in the fear that I will never find someone to share my life with. That would be tragic. I feel that I would be a really good boyfriend etc...although I'm not perfect. No one is. That shouldn't be a standard. People are so caught up looking for the "right" guy or girl that they may simply be waiting for someone that really doesn't exist. That said, I'm not attracted to every girl I meet, and that usually has a lot more to do with personality than anything else. I may not believe in perfect matches...but everyone does have a type. I hope I am someone's type. I feel that I'm kind of a rare personality...it's hard to define or explain. Kind of like if you need a blood transplant, but have a rare blood type, it may take longer to find a match and there's a greater risk (it would seem) that you won't find another person with that match at all.
Monday, January 12, 2009
He's Moving Now to a Different Beat
The title of this note is the last sentence I heard before the cops arrived.
This past week was amazing. My birthday was incredible. Here's how it went:
I took the day off work and just hung around San Marcos with my best friends/neighbors. It was 72 degrees, sunny with no humidity...just how I would want the weather to be on my birthday. About 5 p.m. we went to the Taproom...Brett got my dinner and everyone else got everything else. Brett handed me a square piece of paper on which was handwritten: "Spurs vs. Rockets admit 1". The dudes read my mind...I had been talking about going to see the Spurs play another Western rival for weeks...a group of us are going to go and the other guys paid for my ticket. It was a really great surprise. Almost 20 people...all of whom are my friends...appeared at the Taproom (which is one of my favorite spots on Planet Earth, at least the spots that I've been too, which I'll mention in a later note about my favorite spots on Planet Earth)...that shouldn't have surprised me but it did. The level to which everyone was nice to me on my birthday still has me in awe days later. All day, Brett had been mentioning that he and the other guys in Zlam Dunk (almost all of whom were at the Taproom, minus Ross and Tim who were going to come down later when they could) had to go into Austin to meet with their manager at Chuy's (which made sense because they had met him there for the first time) and talk about the upcoming EP and such. This plan had been mentioned to me a few times throughout the day and in phone conversations Brett had with his bandmates. So I fully believed that they were headed to Austin but they promised they would be back as soon as the meeting was over. Things were wrapping up at the Taproom as Walch bought a round for anyone interested (which couldn't have been cheap and was much appreciated).
I got the waitresses attention so that she could get the bill so the 5/7ths of Zlam Dunk that were there would have time to make it to Austin. As everyone left, Baker and Walch said we should go around the corner to another place and I went along not thinking much of it. I knew that the party would eventually move to his place ("White Castle") and that we would be over there afterward as well and that most of the crowd would go there early. This made some sort of surprise seem inevitable but I didn't know what was up so I didn't think about it and figured that the surprise would be better that way. I was give an hour of free (for myself) distraction at the Showdown with Baker, Walch, Zach and Ben...Zach and I teamed up to beat Baker and Ben at pool. After an hour...Baker drove me over to his place.
I was a little nervous at this point as to what the surprise would be. I had an idea that perhaps Zlam was going to do something for me later that night, just a hunch, but they were probably just now driving back from Austin. We pulled up to the White Castle on M.L.K...we parked...there were a couple people out front but Baker said to go to the backyard. So I did...and there was everyone...the first person I noticed that wasn't at Taproom was Garrett so I greeted him appropriately (with some serious bro-grabs). But the first thing I noticed was a band set up with a p.a. and instruments and drums and everyone. It was freakin' Zlam Dunk. I couldn't figure out how they had gotten back from Austin in time to do all of the work and play a show...later I would ask if they had actually gone to Austin. The answer was no...but Brett had done such a good job of making me think that they had that I was really confused (but happy) at this point. Coolest surprise of my life.
Certain thoughts went through my head:
'I can't believe they're doing this for me'.
'How did they get back from Austin in time to do this'.
'This is a lot of work just to do this for me'.
'We're outside and it's night on a weekday and we're in a very quiet residential neighborhood, so the cops will probably be here in 15 minutes'.
It took a couple of minutes into the first song (Patrick, the new one that's really good) for me to settle down and just enjoy it but I was able too. Then they went into Vice...I was still almost in too much surprised shock...but I was enjoying every second because I seriously couldn't believe that I had this many friends who cared about me this much. Well, I knew that I did, and now that knowledge was being validated in the best possible way. After the bridge I was ready to jump into the middle of those dudes and go nuts for the final part of the song...but before I did I looked over and saw two San Marcos police officers talking to a couple of my friends outside the backyard. 'That was fun but the show's over and I'm not surprised but whatever...' was my basic thought process. I tapped Charlie on the shoulder and after about ten seconds the music came to a halt like a boulder finally resting after an avalanche.
I stood around with the guys and our friends waiting a little anxiously to see if a ticket would be issued. Chachi came back and told us that it was just going to be a warning. Everyone was a little miffed that the show was stopped so fast but I tried to make sure everyone knew that I wasn't surprised by that, but that I was very much surprised at the surprise show and how promptly it happened. Taylor gathered some of the dudes around and broke into a cool sounding acoustic version of "Feet on Fire"...but that was stopped short due to nervousness that the cops would come back and transform the warning into a noise violation ticket. I tried to communicate as much as possible that they cool part was that they simply put so much time and effort into setting the whole thing up.
The rest of the night was almost as magical. Hanging out...a trip to Taco C before a drive out to Devil's Backbone (my idea, kind of off the cuff) to hang out and look at the stars and stuff. I used to go out there with friends at night sometimes, but hadn't in quite a while. I'm really thankful to have lived that day...it wasn't far off from how I would imagine heaven to be. Me, my friends, and one of the best and most caring and loving displays I have ever received from them.
Thanks to anyone that was there and especially thanks to everyone who was involved and double especially thanks to Brett (for being awesome at pulling off a surprise and for the Spurs ticket idea) and Baker for being the MVP of the pre-show part of the night and too all of the guys in Zlam and to everyone that helped them transport and load their stuff so that they could have a show in a backyard. And also thanks to SMPD for responding to their calls so fast, but for also being understanding enough not to ticket White Castle. Considering the circumstances and geography of the event, things could not have gone better. It was the birthday that I have always wanted to have. There's so much that happened that I could write about, and that I will definitely remember after many more birthdays have passed. It was, for lack of a better word (there really isn't a better word), totally gnarly.
- Jordan
This past week was amazing. My birthday was incredible. Here's how it went:
I took the day off work and just hung around San Marcos with my best friends/neighbors. It was 72 degrees, sunny with no humidity...just how I would want the weather to be on my birthday. About 5 p.m. we went to the Taproom...Brett got my dinner and everyone else got everything else. Brett handed me a square piece of paper on which was handwritten: "Spurs vs. Rockets admit 1". The dudes read my mind...I had been talking about going to see the Spurs play another Western rival for weeks...a group of us are going to go and the other guys paid for my ticket. It was a really great surprise. Almost 20 people...all of whom are my friends...appeared at the Taproom (which is one of my favorite spots on Planet Earth, at least the spots that I've been too, which I'll mention in a later note about my favorite spots on Planet Earth)...that shouldn't have surprised me but it did. The level to which everyone was nice to me on my birthday still has me in awe days later. All day, Brett had been mentioning that he and the other guys in Zlam Dunk (almost all of whom were at the Taproom, minus Ross and Tim who were going to come down later when they could) had to go into Austin to meet with their manager at Chuy's (which made sense because they had met him there for the first time) and talk about the upcoming EP and such. This plan had been mentioned to me a few times throughout the day and in phone conversations Brett had with his bandmates. So I fully believed that they were headed to Austin but they promised they would be back as soon as the meeting was over. Things were wrapping up at the Taproom as Walch bought a round for anyone interested (which couldn't have been cheap and was much appreciated).
I got the waitresses attention so that she could get the bill so the 5/7ths of Zlam Dunk that were there would have time to make it to Austin. As everyone left, Baker and Walch said we should go around the corner to another place and I went along not thinking much of it. I knew that the party would eventually move to his place ("White Castle") and that we would be over there afterward as well and that most of the crowd would go there early. This made some sort of surprise seem inevitable but I didn't know what was up so I didn't think about it and figured that the surprise would be better that way. I was give an hour of free (for myself) distraction at the Showdown with Baker, Walch, Zach and Ben...Zach and I teamed up to beat Baker and Ben at pool. After an hour...Baker drove me over to his place.
I was a little nervous at this point as to what the surprise would be. I had an idea that perhaps Zlam was going to do something for me later that night, just a hunch, but they were probably just now driving back from Austin. We pulled up to the White Castle on M.L.K...we parked...there were a couple people out front but Baker said to go to the backyard. So I did...and there was everyone...the first person I noticed that wasn't at Taproom was Garrett so I greeted him appropriately (with some serious bro-grabs). But the first thing I noticed was a band set up with a p.a. and instruments and drums and everyone. It was freakin' Zlam Dunk. I couldn't figure out how they had gotten back from Austin in time to do all of the work and play a show...later I would ask if they had actually gone to Austin. The answer was no...but Brett had done such a good job of making me think that they had that I was really confused (but happy) at this point. Coolest surprise of my life.
Certain thoughts went through my head:
'I can't believe they're doing this for me'.
'How did they get back from Austin in time to do this'.
'This is a lot of work just to do this for me'.
'We're outside and it's night on a weekday and we're in a very quiet residential neighborhood, so the cops will probably be here in 15 minutes'.
It took a couple of minutes into the first song (Patrick, the new one that's really good) for me to settle down and just enjoy it but I was able too. Then they went into Vice...I was still almost in too much surprised shock...but I was enjoying every second because I seriously couldn't believe that I had this many friends who cared about me this much. Well, I knew that I did, and now that knowledge was being validated in the best possible way. After the bridge I was ready to jump into the middle of those dudes and go nuts for the final part of the song...but before I did I looked over and saw two San Marcos police officers talking to a couple of my friends outside the backyard. 'That was fun but the show's over and I'm not surprised but whatever...' was my basic thought process. I tapped Charlie on the shoulder and after about ten seconds the music came to a halt like a boulder finally resting after an avalanche.
I stood around with the guys and our friends waiting a little anxiously to see if a ticket would be issued. Chachi came back and told us that it was just going to be a warning. Everyone was a little miffed that the show was stopped so fast but I tried to make sure everyone knew that I wasn't surprised by that, but that I was very much surprised at the surprise show and how promptly it happened. Taylor gathered some of the dudes around and broke into a cool sounding acoustic version of "Feet on Fire"...but that was stopped short due to nervousness that the cops would come back and transform the warning into a noise violation ticket. I tried to communicate as much as possible that they cool part was that they simply put so much time and effort into setting the whole thing up.
The rest of the night was almost as magical. Hanging out...a trip to Taco C before a drive out to Devil's Backbone (my idea, kind of off the cuff) to hang out and look at the stars and stuff. I used to go out there with friends at night sometimes, but hadn't in quite a while. I'm really thankful to have lived that day...it wasn't far off from how I would imagine heaven to be. Me, my friends, and one of the best and most caring and loving displays I have ever received from them.
Thanks to anyone that was there and especially thanks to everyone who was involved and double especially thanks to Brett (for being awesome at pulling off a surprise and for the Spurs ticket idea) and Baker for being the MVP of the pre-show part of the night and too all of the guys in Zlam and to everyone that helped them transport and load their stuff so that they could have a show in a backyard. And also thanks to SMPD for responding to their calls so fast, but for also being understanding enough not to ticket White Castle. Considering the circumstances and geography of the event, things could not have gone better. It was the birthday that I have always wanted to have. There's so much that happened that I could write about, and that I will definitely remember after many more birthdays have passed. It was, for lack of a better word (there really isn't a better word), totally gnarly.
- Jordan
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
I Can't Hear with these Clouds in My Ears
Jan 5.
Back early from what I thought was going to be an extended road trip, I went back into work. The office was quieter than usual but pretty relaxed as well so I didn't mind and was fairly productive. I will have to be more productive in other areas of life very soon but for the moment I am enjoying a time of intense relaxation. 2009 so far has been quite a good year. The weather is cooler than normal (still can't complain) and it was cloudy today but it didn't rain (as usual). The absence of rainfall (it's been months since we've had more than a few hundredths of an inch in a single day) is making allergies and stuff like that more prevalent and I'm noticing it for sure. Tomorrow the sun is back and it should be sunny and 70 degrees on my birthday (Wednesday)...perfect.
Jon Z. called me...I need to call that dude back. It's 3 a.m. there so I'm going to wait until tomorrow.
My first resolution for the new year was simple, write something every day...so here it is.
The second is to stop needlessly (and annoyingly) apologize for things that I don't need to apologize for (mainly out of insecurity)...so far so good on that as well. If I ever do anything that actually needs apologizing for, then I'll act accordingly...but most of the time when I've said "I'm sorry"...it's usually out of insecurity and to make sure that people like me as much as possible and don't think I'm a jerk...but this has been a deluded state of mind because really it's all about me and not about the person I'm supposedly apologizing to for something that may or may not be bad, or may or may not be my fault.
I'm glad that so many of my friends that are students have jobs in San Marcos that require them to be here during some of the break. It's so nice to have people around while this town is in a state of pure-mellowness. It's a mellow enough place with people here...but without so many people it's almost perfect. I'm just going to appreciate that for what it is, and when the hustle and bustle of the semester begins...I'll hopefully appreciate that as well.
I hope this note finds you doing well. Take time to appreciate the things you have...I go too long sometimes without doing that myself and it's not healthy.
Also...This Will Destroy You's self-titled album was my favorite album of 2008. The fact that they are actually from San Marcos happens to be a bonus...and I think the experiences I've had while listening to that album, and the landscapes that I've passed (either around Austin/San Marcos, or in West Texas, or even in Germany...where it simply reminded me of Texas) while listening to it have made it even better. But it's a great album even if you listened to it while never leaving your room for your whole life. It's like poetry without words. I don't know how they've pulled off what they have done with this album...but they've pulled it off.
Peace and such,
- Jordan
Back early from what I thought was going to be an extended road trip, I went back into work. The office was quieter than usual but pretty relaxed as well so I didn't mind and was fairly productive. I will have to be more productive in other areas of life very soon but for the moment I am enjoying a time of intense relaxation. 2009 so far has been quite a good year. The weather is cooler than normal (still can't complain) and it was cloudy today but it didn't rain (as usual). The absence of rainfall (it's been months since we've had more than a few hundredths of an inch in a single day) is making allergies and stuff like that more prevalent and I'm noticing it for sure. Tomorrow the sun is back and it should be sunny and 70 degrees on my birthday (Wednesday)...perfect.
Jon Z. called me...I need to call that dude back. It's 3 a.m. there so I'm going to wait until tomorrow.
My first resolution for the new year was simple, write something every day...so here it is.
The second is to stop needlessly (and annoyingly) apologize for things that I don't need to apologize for (mainly out of insecurity)...so far so good on that as well. If I ever do anything that actually needs apologizing for, then I'll act accordingly...but most of the time when I've said "I'm sorry"...it's usually out of insecurity and to make sure that people like me as much as possible and don't think I'm a jerk...but this has been a deluded state of mind because really it's all about me and not about the person I'm supposedly apologizing to for something that may or may not be bad, or may or may not be my fault.
I'm glad that so many of my friends that are students have jobs in San Marcos that require them to be here during some of the break. It's so nice to have people around while this town is in a state of pure-mellowness. It's a mellow enough place with people here...but without so many people it's almost perfect. I'm just going to appreciate that for what it is, and when the hustle and bustle of the semester begins...I'll hopefully appreciate that as well.
I hope this note finds you doing well. Take time to appreciate the things you have...I go too long sometimes without doing that myself and it's not healthy.
Also...This Will Destroy You's self-titled album was my favorite album of 2008. The fact that they are actually from San Marcos happens to be a bonus...and I think the experiences I've had while listening to that album, and the landscapes that I've passed (either around Austin/San Marcos, or in West Texas, or even in Germany...where it simply reminded me of Texas) while listening to it have made it even better. But it's a great album even if you listened to it while never leaving your room for your whole life. It's like poetry without words. I don't know how they've pulled off what they have done with this album...but they've pulled it off.
Peace and such,
- Jordan
Monday, January 05, 2009
We Carry On...We Sing Our Songs
Jan 3-4
For the first time in my life I went to Houston and was actually excited about going there. Zlam Dunk (better known as my friends who happened to be in Zlam Dunk) played their first show outside of the I-35 corridor region at Java Jazz in the North Houston area. Several other friends made the trip out for the show including Baker, Danny G. Sara and Emily. Glynn was already out there. Driver F got Zlam on the bill for the show which was a huge favor considering how well-liked they are in that particular region. Despite some strange equipment problems, among other things, their set was a smash success. I'm really happy for them because I think it cracked open a door there.
Houston is a difficult place though in a lot of ways. It's large, kind of the anti-Austin in a lot of respects...and as far as live music culture goes it was a real culture shock to see how a non-bar suburban venue (in a shopping mall next to a swingers club...weird right? Houston has no zoning laws and little regulation on out things develop so you get weird mixtures of businesses and things there) operated compared to the live music bars and venues in Austin that have to compete with several dozen other venues in a much smaller city on the same night. The crowd was a lot younger and the venue had some things that were pretty unnecessary...among them:
- A barricade in front of the stage. Good maybe for bigger metal shows (which they sometimes manage to book) but not at all needed for a show like this one
- No re-entry for anyone not in a band (even over 21). In the suburbs, when you're not serving alcohol, and everyone who pays to get in gets a highly visible and very recognizable java jazz wristband...this restriction was about as needed as a swat team at summer camp.
Weirdness of the venue experience aside (and the fact that 95% of the crowd appeared to be high school or younger, also very different from a downtown Austin show) things went well and it was definitely worth the trip for them to get that kind of exposure in a new area. They got massive props after the show. Also, Driver F's set was awesome..."Destroyed in Seconds" awesome. Great night. Afterward we made a 45 minute crosstown trek to Vega's parents house. They were ridiculously hospitable to us (a group totaling something like 15-180 people) and made some of the best breakfast I've had in a while. Migas type stuff with homemade tortillas, awesome homemade salsa, beans and picadillo (if you don't know what it is, just know that it's delicious).
Before heading back to San Marcos, we went out to Galveston. It was interesting to see how the city is doing after Hurricane Ike. I wish it were doing better than it apparently is. It was still a fun afternoon.
This weekend was amazing. I have the best friends I could ever imagine having. I'm back in San Marcos now (and happy to be back for sure) and at a loss to explain how blessed I am.
- Jordan
For the first time in my life I went to Houston and was actually excited about going there. Zlam Dunk (better known as my friends who happened to be in Zlam Dunk) played their first show outside of the I-35 corridor region at Java Jazz in the North Houston area. Several other friends made the trip out for the show including Baker, Danny G. Sara and Emily. Glynn was already out there. Driver F got Zlam on the bill for the show which was a huge favor considering how well-liked they are in that particular region. Despite some strange equipment problems, among other things, their set was a smash success. I'm really happy for them because I think it cracked open a door there.
Houston is a difficult place though in a lot of ways. It's large, kind of the anti-Austin in a lot of respects...and as far as live music culture goes it was a real culture shock to see how a non-bar suburban venue (in a shopping mall next to a swingers club...weird right? Houston has no zoning laws and little regulation on out things develop so you get weird mixtures of businesses and things there) operated compared to the live music bars and venues in Austin that have to compete with several dozen other venues in a much smaller city on the same night. The crowd was a lot younger and the venue had some things that were pretty unnecessary...among them:
- A barricade in front of the stage. Good maybe for bigger metal shows (which they sometimes manage to book) but not at all needed for a show like this one
- No re-entry for anyone not in a band (even over 21). In the suburbs, when you're not serving alcohol, and everyone who pays to get in gets a highly visible and very recognizable java jazz wristband...this restriction was about as needed as a swat team at summer camp.
Weirdness of the venue experience aside (and the fact that 95% of the crowd appeared to be high school or younger, also very different from a downtown Austin show) things went well and it was definitely worth the trip for them to get that kind of exposure in a new area. They got massive props after the show. Also, Driver F's set was awesome..."Destroyed in Seconds" awesome. Great night. Afterward we made a 45 minute crosstown trek to Vega's parents house. They were ridiculously hospitable to us (a group totaling something like 15-180 people) and made some of the best breakfast I've had in a while. Migas type stuff with homemade tortillas, awesome homemade salsa, beans and picadillo (if you don't know what it is, just know that it's delicious).
Before heading back to San Marcos, we went out to Galveston. It was interesting to see how the city is doing after Hurricane Ike. I wish it were doing better than it apparently is. It was still a fun afternoon.
This weekend was amazing. I have the best friends I could ever imagine having. I'm back in San Marcos now (and happy to be back for sure) and at a loss to explain how blessed I am.
- Jordan
Saturday, January 03, 2009
I Hope the Weather Holds
Jan 2, 2009.
So much I want to write about, but I need to sleep in a big way. Zlam Dunk owned everything tonight at the Mohawk. The place was totally packed and several decent bands played. It was a great night. Magnolia Cafe at 3 a.m. is better than almost anything. I'm going to Houston with everyone tomorrow...I haven't been there in a year and a half and I haven't been excited about going there in...well...I've never been excited about going there. But tomorrow I actually am. I just hope the weather out there is nice tomorrow.
My brother is going back to the Army early tomorrow, his leave is over. It was great to have my whole family together for the first time since the past summer. It's in the 60's at night, in January, I can't complain about that. Supposed to be in the 80's in Austin tomorrow. 18 days until Obama is finally inaugurated...something I've been looking forward to for quite some time. I could write a ton of things about political stuff but I am too tired to bother and usually it's not productive anyway.
- Jordan
So much I want to write about, but I need to sleep in a big way. Zlam Dunk owned everything tonight at the Mohawk. The place was totally packed and several decent bands played. It was a great night. Magnolia Cafe at 3 a.m. is better than almost anything. I'm going to Houston with everyone tomorrow...I haven't been there in a year and a half and I haven't been excited about going there in...well...I've never been excited about going there. But tomorrow I actually am. I just hope the weather out there is nice tomorrow.
My brother is going back to the Army early tomorrow, his leave is over. It was great to have my whole family together for the first time since the past summer. It's in the 60's at night, in January, I can't complain about that. Supposed to be in the 80's in Austin tomorrow. 18 days until Obama is finally inaugurated...something I've been looking forward to for quite some time. I could write a ton of things about political stuff but I am too tired to bother and usually it's not productive anyway.
- Jordan
Thursday, January 01, 2009
I Wish the World were Flat Like the Old Days
Today I took a quick trip up to Temple to see my family and specifically my brother Justin who is on leave from the Army until Saturday. He's stationed in Georgia while training before being deployed overseas (but likely not to the Middle East, thankfully). I think he made a great decision to go into the Army, even though it's tough sometimes I can tell it's really positive for him.
My hometown-area of Temple/Belton, Texas is still the same even though it's been growing a great deal. The only real changes really are that there are even more chain restaurants, stores and subdivisions...with the only other change being that none of my best friends from there are ever there anymore. Either they've moved on, or in many cases, their families have moved on to somewhere else...probably someplace more interesting. Temple's still okay I guess if you like excessive and near-constant wind, Starbucks, and flat landscapes, Republicans, dispersed and pointlessly sprawling urban spaces, and driving on streets with people who are shockingly bad at driving cars. Everyone either drives like a really old lady or a 16-year-old. There's a mall with one story and a movie theater. The movie theater is usually packed due to the high amount of disposalble income vs. the lack of things to do. Temple, as a large medical center (mainly because of Scott and White Hospital, where my dad and many of my friend's moms and dads have worked over the years) has more doctors per capita than any other city in the United States...and yet most of them have to still drive (thankfully, just an hour) to Austin if they want to do something out of the ordinary.
Growing up, I was reminded by the smaller and more dull places I would see while driving to other places in Texas, that there were far worse places to live. Being close enough to Austin to be able to easily go to shows there or to avert stir-craziness was a plus...but only being an hour away from a place that radically different (and in my opinion much livelier and better) makes the urge to grow up and leave that painfully average place even stronger. I've known several people who have just upped and moved to Austin, even without getting a job first, just to achieve that almost universal dream of every kid in Bell County of actually living in Austin instead. It was a primary factor in my decision to live in an apartment in South Austin for one of the years that I attended Texas State. I had only lived in the dorms there so I had not yet been able to fully appreciate San Marcos (I definitely do now). And while it was preferable to Temple for sure (and closer to downtown Austin) I still had that need to finally live in a larger city (San Marcos is smaller than Temple, but much cooler, especially for its size). So I did, and it was alright. But, school was far less enjoyable and I didn't connect with my community in San Marcos quite as well (although it was not a social disaster either and in fact I did a lot of growing up living self-supported financially on my own with roommates in Austin). Another equally important factor was, as a financially independent student, I really needed a job that paid the bills and I found it in West Austin. Thus, my apartment was a logical halfway point between work and school. I'm glad to be in San Marcos instead now though, it's a much better fit for me now than it would have been then. I just needed to experience more to understand what I truly liked. I think more people should take those kinds of leaps even if they are not sure it will be better for them...you can't find out unless you actually try to find out. I think all of my experiences over the past few years have led to more agreeable results even if they led to some temporarily very disagreeable circumstances.
My goal is to write something on a journal every day during 2009. I might not accomplish that, but in the attempt I am sure that I will write more. Today at my Grandparent's house I plucked the Diaries of Ronald Reagan (surprise!...remember what I said about Republicans?) off of their shelf. It was fascinating to see the rather human nature of what was written coming from a famous American President. Personal notes, reflections and exclamations of emotion about friends, family and sports interspersed with the geopolitical and national political stuff going on in the nation that he was currently supervising. It was also interesting that he didn't write ever day...sometimes he would cover two or three days in a short note, which is what I usually end up doing when I try to write something every day. I doubt he would have kept such an extensive diary without the goal or writing in it every day...it's a natural goal. But what I gathered is that I shouldn't feel too down if I don't always 100% achieve what I set out to do...because even the most accomplished among us are not always able to accomplish 100% of what they set out to do either. I shouldn't let the fear of not finishing what I set out to do keep me from striving for goals or setting out to do or try new things.
Cheers,
- Jordan
My hometown-area of Temple/Belton, Texas is still the same even though it's been growing a great deal. The only real changes really are that there are even more chain restaurants, stores and subdivisions...with the only other change being that none of my best friends from there are ever there anymore. Either they've moved on, or in many cases, their families have moved on to somewhere else...probably someplace more interesting. Temple's still okay I guess if you like excessive and near-constant wind, Starbucks, and flat landscapes, Republicans, dispersed and pointlessly sprawling urban spaces, and driving on streets with people who are shockingly bad at driving cars. Everyone either drives like a really old lady or a 16-year-old. There's a mall with one story and a movie theater. The movie theater is usually packed due to the high amount of disposalble income vs. the lack of things to do. Temple, as a large medical center (mainly because of Scott and White Hospital, where my dad and many of my friend's moms and dads have worked over the years) has more doctors per capita than any other city in the United States...and yet most of them have to still drive (thankfully, just an hour) to Austin if they want to do something out of the ordinary.
Growing up, I was reminded by the smaller and more dull places I would see while driving to other places in Texas, that there were far worse places to live. Being close enough to Austin to be able to easily go to shows there or to avert stir-craziness was a plus...but only being an hour away from a place that radically different (and in my opinion much livelier and better) makes the urge to grow up and leave that painfully average place even stronger. I've known several people who have just upped and moved to Austin, even without getting a job first, just to achieve that almost universal dream of every kid in Bell County of actually living in Austin instead. It was a primary factor in my decision to live in an apartment in South Austin for one of the years that I attended Texas State. I had only lived in the dorms there so I had not yet been able to fully appreciate San Marcos (I definitely do now). And while it was preferable to Temple for sure (and closer to downtown Austin) I still had that need to finally live in a larger city (San Marcos is smaller than Temple, but much cooler, especially for its size). So I did, and it was alright. But, school was far less enjoyable and I didn't connect with my community in San Marcos quite as well (although it was not a social disaster either and in fact I did a lot of growing up living self-supported financially on my own with roommates in Austin). Another equally important factor was, as a financially independent student, I really needed a job that paid the bills and I found it in West Austin. Thus, my apartment was a logical halfway point between work and school. I'm glad to be in San Marcos instead now though, it's a much better fit for me now than it would have been then. I just needed to experience more to understand what I truly liked. I think more people should take those kinds of leaps even if they are not sure it will be better for them...you can't find out unless you actually try to find out. I think all of my experiences over the past few years have led to more agreeable results even if they led to some temporarily very disagreeable circumstances.
My goal is to write something on a journal every day during 2009. I might not accomplish that, but in the attempt I am sure that I will write more. Today at my Grandparent's house I plucked the Diaries of Ronald Reagan (surprise!...remember what I said about Republicans?) off of their shelf. It was fascinating to see the rather human nature of what was written coming from a famous American President. Personal notes, reflections and exclamations of emotion about friends, family and sports interspersed with the geopolitical and national political stuff going on in the nation that he was currently supervising. It was also interesting that he didn't write ever day...sometimes he would cover two or three days in a short note, which is what I usually end up doing when I try to write something every day. I doubt he would have kept such an extensive diary without the goal or writing in it every day...it's a natural goal. But what I gathered is that I shouldn't feel too down if I don't always 100% achieve what I set out to do...because even the most accomplished among us are not always able to accomplish 100% of what they set out to do either. I shouldn't let the fear of not finishing what I set out to do keep me from striving for goals or setting out to do or try new things.
Cheers,
- Jordan
Monday, December 08, 2008
I'm Nonetheless the Librarian
I hate the Alkek Library...as a place to study. It's a giant cold box of doom. But it's 1:30 a.m. and I have no other feasible resort. I also forgot my headphones. Which is great because I am in the first floor (a.k.a. basement) lounge, the only place you can under the rules eat or drink anything in this hellish Orwellian future world. That also means there are vending machine noises, emo scene kid dude talking on his phone, people coughing because they probably have the flu...but hey it's finals week so I'm going to study. I've done that, it literally almost killed me. If you have the flu, talk to your professors, they would probably rather you take a make up exam than end up in the hospital with a severe and life-threatening (without hospitalization) case of pneumonia... unable to eat or drink anything. There's a TV on in the corner playing some extreme sports bloopers show. It and the internet are my only contact with the outside world from this cave inside the Balcones Escarpment. This once was an active fault line. It would be pretty cool if it got active again. It would rid the night of this monotony.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Thanx
It's a ridiculous irony that, looking back on past Thanksgivings, I am particularly awful at being thankful for things on Thanksgiving. Now, I know that you're supposed to be thankful for stuff every day, not just when the calendar tells you to be, but I think that with all of the throwing around of the word "thanks" and whatnot, it is espeically easy (or should be) to find things to be thankful for and then be thankful for them around the 4th Thursday in November.
With this in mind, as I set it, a sign of narcissism on my part that I need to get rid of...I am trying to, in effect, be thankful ahead of the regularly scheduled day. I have a lot to be thankful for...so much...material things are one thing but those are not the things for which I am most thankful...although living in the United States and not being impoverished makes me a lot "richer" and stuff-having than a lot of people in a lot of civilizations throughout history.
I'm thankful for relationships. For the friendships that I've had, and for the ones I have, and for the ones I will have. I'm thankful for the great friendships and even the broken relationships that were once not-broken. From friends and from past experiences I have learned so much. There is nothing at all more important to me than the people I love. If someone tomorrow walked up to me and offered me a job tomorrow that paid a six-figure (or seven, or eight...etc...) income in another city, and I had to forsake all of my friendships tomorrow in order to take it, and leave everyone behind tomorrow, there is no way that I would do that. I don't know if I would to it period. I can't put a price tag on what they mean to me. I will do everything I can for them. I know that many of them would do almost anything for me. I have never experienced love and community like I do every day right now in Austin-San Marcos (and with other friends that I have in other regions). I know this time will end for our community as it exists right now, and many of us will have to move on, but I hope that we never lose our friendships despite any distance. We are the friends that we will have for the rest of our lives. I love you guys so much.
I'm thankful so much for my family. I can't describe how grateful I am that I have a great relationship with both my Mom and my Dad...and that they also are in love with each other after so many years of marriage. They are ridiculously important to me and I hold an indescribable amount of respect for them. I wish so much that other kids could have what I have...so many families and homes are so broken. It's such a sad thing to see. I remember as the same thing was threatening my own family, but somehow we withstood that storm. The sheer intensity of this blessing is not lost on me, nor is the blessing of loving Grandparents or extended family who I will see this Thursday on the street I grew up on in Belton...as I have for every Thanksgiving since I first registered memories.
I am thankful for the experiences I have had...for the things I have learned, for the privilege of attending Texas State and for the crucially important things I have learned here about the world and about myself, in class and outside of it. In the quad or at Sewell Park...or in a car somewhere on some ranch road in the Texas Hill Country. I am thankful that I can go to Emo's or a number of other places in Austin and see bands whose music has defined and influenced my life in incredibly positive ways. I am thankful that I have gotten to travel and experience things that students with my socio-economic background often do not get to do. I am thankful that everywhere I go where I live I see someone I know, and that I can see most of the people I know or do anything that I need to do without setting foot in a car. I am thankful that when I do need to leave town, my reliable car allows me to do so. I am thankful that bands like This Will Destroy You can provide a soundtrack to my life and where I live without words. I am thankful for the never-ending festival of joy that a bunch of my friends started when they decided to form a band called Zlam Dunk (seriously, it's been so much fun to be around). And I am thankful that Mexican Food is so delicious and plentiful around here! I am so thankful that I have gotten to live in a place where the sun shines over 300 days a year, and where the winters are mild, often pleasant, and sometimes even warm. I am thankful that I will get to wear shorts on Thanksgiving day. I am thankful that the apartment complex I live in is not going to get bulldozed like we thought, and that so many of my best friends, the people who are the most important thing I have, live within seconds of each other here. I am thankful for how God has led my life, even if I don't always seem so or am often skeptical of it.
I am thankful that I am allowed to be a part of so many lives, and that so many lives are a part of mine.
Thanks to anyone that reads this. You mean something to me...probably a lot...probably more than you know.
- Jordan
With this in mind, as I set it, a sign of narcissism on my part that I need to get rid of...I am trying to, in effect, be thankful ahead of the regularly scheduled day. I have a lot to be thankful for...so much...material things are one thing but those are not the things for which I am most thankful...although living in the United States and not being impoverished makes me a lot "richer" and stuff-having than a lot of people in a lot of civilizations throughout history.
I'm thankful for relationships. For the friendships that I've had, and for the ones I have, and for the ones I will have. I'm thankful for the great friendships and even the broken relationships that were once not-broken. From friends and from past experiences I have learned so much. There is nothing at all more important to me than the people I love. If someone tomorrow walked up to me and offered me a job tomorrow that paid a six-figure (or seven, or eight...etc...) income in another city, and I had to forsake all of my friendships tomorrow in order to take it, and leave everyone behind tomorrow, there is no way that I would do that. I don't know if I would to it period. I can't put a price tag on what they mean to me. I will do everything I can for them. I know that many of them would do almost anything for me. I have never experienced love and community like I do every day right now in Austin-San Marcos (and with other friends that I have in other regions). I know this time will end for our community as it exists right now, and many of us will have to move on, but I hope that we never lose our friendships despite any distance. We are the friends that we will have for the rest of our lives. I love you guys so much.
I'm thankful so much for my family. I can't describe how grateful I am that I have a great relationship with both my Mom and my Dad...and that they also are in love with each other after so many years of marriage. They are ridiculously important to me and I hold an indescribable amount of respect for them. I wish so much that other kids could have what I have...so many families and homes are so broken. It's such a sad thing to see. I remember as the same thing was threatening my own family, but somehow we withstood that storm. The sheer intensity of this blessing is not lost on me, nor is the blessing of loving Grandparents or extended family who I will see this Thursday on the street I grew up on in Belton...as I have for every Thanksgiving since I first registered memories.
I am thankful for the experiences I have had...for the things I have learned, for the privilege of attending Texas State and for the crucially important things I have learned here about the world and about myself, in class and outside of it. In the quad or at Sewell Park...or in a car somewhere on some ranch road in the Texas Hill Country. I am thankful that I can go to Emo's or a number of other places in Austin and see bands whose music has defined and influenced my life in incredibly positive ways. I am thankful that I have gotten to travel and experience things that students with my socio-economic background often do not get to do. I am thankful that everywhere I go where I live I see someone I know, and that I can see most of the people I know or do anything that I need to do without setting foot in a car. I am thankful that when I do need to leave town, my reliable car allows me to do so. I am thankful that bands like This Will Destroy You can provide a soundtrack to my life and where I live without words. I am thankful for the never-ending festival of joy that a bunch of my friends started when they decided to form a band called Zlam Dunk (seriously, it's been so much fun to be around). And I am thankful that Mexican Food is so delicious and plentiful around here! I am so thankful that I have gotten to live in a place where the sun shines over 300 days a year, and where the winters are mild, often pleasant, and sometimes even warm. I am thankful that I will get to wear shorts on Thanksgiving day. I am thankful that the apartment complex I live in is not going to get bulldozed like we thought, and that so many of my best friends, the people who are the most important thing I have, live within seconds of each other here. I am thankful for how God has led my life, even if I don't always seem so or am often skeptical of it.
I am thankful that I am allowed to be a part of so many lives, and that so many lives are a part of mine.
Thanks to anyone that reads this. You mean something to me...probably a lot...probably more than you know.
- Jordan
A Constant Work in Progress
It is natural to be afraid. I am a human being, hopelessly weak and incapable of perfect love or perfect anything. But, fear can be paralyzing, it often holds me back. But it shouldn't have any power over me. I really think the only thing I should be afraid is my willingness to let fear dictate what decisions I (don't) make. I don't want to be afraid anymore to tell people what I am feeling, or how much they mean to me. And I don't want to be afraid anymore to take any kind of risk. While some risks end in pain and/or disappointment, others are beautiful in their result. But if you are unwilling to risk everything you have for something greater than yourself or your selfish nature, then you can only gain nothing.
To love someone is always great risk. But to refuse to love, for fear of the risk involved, is always great tragedy. I've been telling myself that I shouldn't ever take that risk again, that I should never look for something meaningful in someone else ever again. That it's not worth it. This is a great example of how I am prone to lying to myself. When we let fear control us, we don't need obstacles or enemies. When we let fear control us, we are our own greatest obstacle and our own worst enemy. I've never fully admonished this in myself...because residing in fear and retraction is, while a sad and lonely existence, less "risky" or difficult than seeking a change to that restrictive fear-based mindset.
I hope that courage will find me soon.
To love someone is always great risk. But to refuse to love, for fear of the risk involved, is always great tragedy. I've been telling myself that I shouldn't ever take that risk again, that I should never look for something meaningful in someone else ever again. That it's not worth it. This is a great example of how I am prone to lying to myself. When we let fear control us, we don't need obstacles or enemies. When we let fear control us, we are our own greatest obstacle and our own worst enemy. I've never fully admonished this in myself...because residing in fear and retraction is, while a sad and lonely existence, less "risky" or difficult than seeking a change to that restrictive fear-based mindset.
I hope that courage will find me soon.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
BYYAAAHHHH!!!!!
Yes, the title is a reference to Howard Dean.
Hey everyone. I'm sitting in a computer lab. The computers are not being my friends. They never are though. That's okay though, it just means I'll have to take more time away from people later this semester in order to do the stuff that I'm not able to do tonight.
It's a quiet night in San Marcos, and getting colder (it was in the 80's today, which was great). I hope people are up to stuff later. My life is so strange, it's like I am half-asleep all of the time. And when I'm asleep I have these vivid dreams that make me feel as if I'm half awake. This basically is leading me to feel as if my life is one long dream with pros and cons. I don't know if that's the best thing. It makes me more numb to negatives, which is good in the near-term...but it also means I am less in touch with "reality" and the needs of those around me as well as people I don't know. It's not necessarily a breeding ground for spiritual activity either. I think I have begun to run from my feelings, emotions, problems and things that I might need to face by not running at all, but retreating into some kind of weird NON-drug induced haze. Individual days don't even seem to exist anymore. Time is just blurring. My days are running together and all of my thoughts, experiences and interactions seem to be tangled. Is this good?
Still, I can hold onto the following:
1. I am imperfect, but I'm not held to a standard of perfection
2. I can be less hard on myself and that is okay
3. I have amazing friends
4. Love exists, even if I am constantly on the outside of it...and at a loss to explain why
5. I can't stop thinking about Zlam Dunk
6. I live in a region, city, neighborhood and apartment that is the best situation I could imagine for myself at this point in my life.
7. Clarity by Jimmy Eat World will always be one of the greatest albums ever.
8. No matter how I feel in a given moment, it is not an eternity, and I won't feel that way forever
9. I am never justified to feel worried about anything
10. I need to get a handle on a seemingly inescapable cycle of self-doubt and self-loathing.
11. I need to find the money to finally buy a drum set, otherwise I will never get to play drums...even though I can.
12. I see more truth in a sunset than I have ever seen in any other person I have met...or myself.
I don't write a lot because I am way too vulnerably honest when I do. If I could write songs on guitar, I would just do that...and write them about people with other names, even though I would really be writing them about myself.
I'm looking way forward to the holidays. And winter road trips.
Hey everyone. I'm sitting in a computer lab. The computers are not being my friends. They never are though. That's okay though, it just means I'll have to take more time away from people later this semester in order to do the stuff that I'm not able to do tonight.
It's a quiet night in San Marcos, and getting colder (it was in the 80's today, which was great). I hope people are up to stuff later. My life is so strange, it's like I am half-asleep all of the time. And when I'm asleep I have these vivid dreams that make me feel as if I'm half awake. This basically is leading me to feel as if my life is one long dream with pros and cons. I don't know if that's the best thing. It makes me more numb to negatives, which is good in the near-term...but it also means I am less in touch with "reality" and the needs of those around me as well as people I don't know. It's not necessarily a breeding ground for spiritual activity either. I think I have begun to run from my feelings, emotions, problems and things that I might need to face by not running at all, but retreating into some kind of weird NON-drug induced haze. Individual days don't even seem to exist anymore. Time is just blurring. My days are running together and all of my thoughts, experiences and interactions seem to be tangled. Is this good?
Still, I can hold onto the following:
1. I am imperfect, but I'm not held to a standard of perfection
2. I can be less hard on myself and that is okay
3. I have amazing friends
4. Love exists, even if I am constantly on the outside of it...and at a loss to explain why
5. I can't stop thinking about Zlam Dunk
6. I live in a region, city, neighborhood and apartment that is the best situation I could imagine for myself at this point in my life.
7. Clarity by Jimmy Eat World will always be one of the greatest albums ever.
8. No matter how I feel in a given moment, it is not an eternity, and I won't feel that way forever
9. I am never justified to feel worried about anything
10. I need to get a handle on a seemingly inescapable cycle of self-doubt and self-loathing.
11. I need to find the money to finally buy a drum set, otherwise I will never get to play drums...even though I can.
12. I see more truth in a sunset than I have ever seen in any other person I have met...or myself.
I don't write a lot because I am way too vulnerably honest when I do. If I could write songs on guitar, I would just do that...and write them about people with other names, even though I would really be writing them about myself.
I'm looking way forward to the holidays. And winter road trips.
I'm in Love with the Ordinary
I have to confess, as much as I preach about our need to use less fuel as a society (best way to lower gas prices, as evidenced by the current free-fall in oil prices driven by falling demand *in the United States*) that I love to drive. I love road trips. I see a value in them if they involve time with friends and adventure, and I see the value in a drive on my own when I need to get away from campus just for an hour or so and clear my head. I don't feel so bad about taking the occasional drive though because I rarely drive because I am extremely blessed to live in a place where I can walk to anything I need (including the office where I work on campus). Still, I don't take the ability to drive somewhere distant for granted...and I certainly don't take the "walkability" of my current situation for granted.
This note is not about environmental-political-lifestyle issues though...I'll save that for another time (I'm saving most politically sensitive commentary for after the election...for health purposes and the sake of retaining friendships...It's going to be a long week). Actually, this is about my favorite roads that can be found in the Central Texas and Hill Country regions (my all-time favorite is cliche' but I don't care...California 1 between Monterrey and San Simeon, CA...a.k.a. "Big Sur"). If you've ever gone on a day trip with me you have probably driven down at least a couple of these. So here are my favorites, with a brief description of what I like about them, in no particular order.
Fulton Ranch Road - Hays County, TX between Ranch Road 12 and the Blanco River: This is definately my favorite road near San Marcos and one of my favorites of all time. Many people spend years here without realizing that it exists...and how cool it is. It's more commonly known as "Freeman Ranch Road", because it goes by Freeman Ranch, but it's named for a much larger ranch between Freeman and the Blanco River. It meanders though significantly well-grazed but comparatively "unspoiled" Hill Country landscape, winding along ridges and above the Wimberley Valley. The aspect of the road allows you to essentially "drive into the sunset", it is a great route to take and has several great sunset vistas along it's path. At night, you can see the town of Wimberley nestled in a valley to the left as you drive north, otherwise there are little signs of human civilization and only two or three houses on the 8 or so miles between RM-12 and the river. The road is worth the drive for the entire stretch, but it has a very pleasantly surprising climatic finish during the last mile before you reach the Blanco River. Driving around a bend, you suddenly see a cliff with a spectacular (not just by Texas standards) valley open up in front of you. It's the sort of thing that Ansel Adams would photograph. Several friends and I have simply driven out there to hang out on top of a pile of boulders that sits at the top of the cliff. That sounds mundane, but only to those who have never driven out to this place. During unusually wet seasons, the valley below is a stark green. During seasonal drought periods (such as right now) the valley is a collection of golden colors, and still a great sight. There is actually a seasonal waterfall (only after a heavy rainfall) that cascades down into a canyon that is created by a sharp bend in the cliff. It is at this bend where the road finally drops (steeply) into the valley and emerges in a different world with tall pecan trees and a collection of picturesque small organic farms that exist on the more agriculture friendly riparian (riverside) soil. This is a sharp change from the first several miles of the drive, which is a typical hill country landscape (which is unique, but with shallow rocky soil and other typical semi-arid limitations) of short drought-tolerant oak trees, invasive juniper cedars, chaparral-like shrubs, and large boulder features covered with yuccas and prickly pear cacti. The stretch ends at a primitive one-lane low water crossing across the Blanco River. The river here looks like something out of a movie. The flow varies greatly depending on rainfall...it can be a trickle, or it can be a torrent of roaring rapids...which is the case after a heavy rainfall. This highlights a downside of the road, if it rains, you don't want to be on it as the washes it goes through flood at several points. Also, the crossing here floods easily, and if this is the case you have to turn around and drive all the way back to San Marcos instead of being able to continue onto Wimberley. Also, it's a rural county road that is narrow with sharp curves and a few annoying dips that can take you by surprise when driving, so it's best to do so with caution. However, if you live anywhere close to San Marcos or Austin you should drive down this road at some point...I promise it will give you a greater appreciate for the part of the world that you live in. To get there: Take Ranch Road 12 west out of San Marcos...it is literally the first paved right turn after you leave the city limits.
Ranch Road 32 over Devils Backbone - between the Comal County Line and RM-3424: Driving on this road out of the Wimberley Valley, you proceed along a fairly level stretch for about 4 miles...it remains level, which means if you don't look to the right after crossing the Comal County line you would fail to realize that you're next to another one of the best views in this area. Every time I have driven people down this road for the first time and tell them to look to the right they are completely suprised by the view that suddenly appears to the right. The features become more obvious as the road ascends to the top of the ridge, which it follows for two very scenic miles. Near the highest point, there's a rest stop where you can pull off and admire the view without worrying about driving at the same time. Unfortunately the land on either side of the road is privately owned and fenced off. It's commonly trespassed on, but I have heard more than one story of DPS officers waiting by cars for people to return and give them a citation. There's also a cross inscribed with the name "Erin" at the rest stop...presumably a memorial to someone who fell down the side of the ridge. I didn't know this for sure, so I did some research. Apparently the "Ghost Hunters of Texas" have heard weird stuff there and it turns out there was an "Unsolved Mysteries" episode about Devil's Backbone and all of the alleged "hauntings" that have happened there ranging from Spanish Monks to some ghost wolf thing... interesting. I'll have to check it out later on. (http://www.ghosthuntersoftexas.com/dbreststop.htm ). Still, just being able to look at the view is a treat, and worth the short 15 minutes it takes to get there from San Marcos. The drive out there is also not bad in terms of scenery. To get there: Take Ranch Road 12 west of San Marcos. At the blinking light "junction" in Wimberley continue straght as the road becomes Ranch Road 32. "The Backbone" is 5 miles from this point.
Ranch Road 2222 - Austin, TX between Capital of Texas Highway (Loop 360) and Mopac/Loop 1: This is the first urban road (technically, it is called "Urban Road 2222", but changing the signs for this and other RM and FM roads in suburbanization areas would be an unnecessary expense so they are still signed as they were originally named. This is a fact so obscure I don't even think you could impress your friends with it). This is one of the most spectacular drives in Travis County, and remarkable that the entire stretch is within the city limits of Austin. It winds up the Balcones Escarpment from Mopac around bends and through the canyonlands until it reaches a point above Loop 360 where it simultaneously hugs a steep hillside while providing a scenic look at Lake Austin below, with the iconic "360 Bridge" in the distance. Definitely a road to take sometime if you haven't already. It'll surpass what you would expect to find in the urban part of the Austin Metro area. To get there: Take the Mopac Freeway north from Downtown and exit RM-2222/Northland Dr. Turn left at the light and enjoy several scenic miles of a beautiful urban landscape.
Ranch Road 1888 from Ranch Road 1623 west of Blanco to Luckenbach via RM-1376: I really like this route because it embodies pretty much everything that I like about the Hill Country. Starting a few miles west of Blanco, RM-1888 winds alongside the picturesque Blanco River toward it's headwaters in a beautiful valley. About every mile or so you see an interesting old (mostly German) stone farmhouse. The road forks after about 5 miles you climb up and out of the valley. Cutting through Northeastern Kendall County, the road takes you over wide-open ranch country ridgetops where you can see for miles. The road takes a right turn north into Gillespie county toward Fredericksburg. The landscape levels a bit before you pass by the legendary "town" of Luckenbach (pop 3)...which was made famous by Willie Nelson who wrote "Everybody's Somebody in Luckenbach" and has held his huge Fourth of July Picnic there on more than one occasion. Everytime I've stopped there I have seen an interesting collection of people hanging out around the old post office and general store. A lot of old-school bikers but also plenty of old folk-music loving hippies...the kind that end up and the Kerrville Folk Festival for 18 days. The place seems lost in time and is, despite it's status as a tourist stop, a truly unique element of Texas culture.To get there, take RM-12/32 from San Marcos to U.S. 281. Turn Right and go to the center of Blanco. The town's only traffic light is your turn for RM-1623. RM-1888 is a few miles west of town.
Farm to Market Road 972 - Williamson County from FM-1105 in Walburg to State Highway 95: This is the first non-Hill Country road that I've listed (it's just east of IH-35 north of Georgetown), the terrain is mostly a fairly level but rolling transition between the Hill Country to the West and the dull flatness of the fertile Blackland Prairie belt that runs parallel to IH-35 on the East. Williamson County is generally not my favorite place in the world and one could assume that if I found a road there that I liked it would probably be west of the Interstate. However, it is the unexpected beauty that I find along this road that puts it on this list. Another part of my attachment to this road is personal, it's my favorite part of my drive to visit my parents' at their home and I always look forward to it. The road winds along from the iconic and historic tiny town of Walburg (which retains much of the cultural vibe left over from the German immigrant farmers who settled it) out into the rolling farmland. The sky is immense and development sparse save for a scattering of small farms and country spreads. While there are a lot of curves, they are never so sharp as to require slowing down and it is sparsely recently repaved so it is really smooth as well. But, along with being a fun and enjoyable road, it runs across a farm-intensive landscape of subtle beauty beneath an immense and beautiful wide-open sky. Driving west on this road toward the sunset provides a view that will alter the way you look at the world around you. This road is special to me because it has shown me how beauty can exist in altogether unexpected places. To get there: Take Interstate 35 North of Austin through Georgetown to the Walburg exit just north of SH-130 (Exit 268). Turn right onto FM-972. The stretch that I described begins at FM-1105 in Walburg after about 4 miles.
This note is not about environmental-political-li
Fulton Ranch Road - Hays County, TX between Ranch Road 12 and the Blanco River: This is definately my favorite road near San Marcos and one of my favorites of all time. Many people spend years here without realizing that it exists...and how cool it is. It's more commonly known as "Freeman Ranch Road", because it goes by Freeman Ranch, but it's named for a much larger ranch between Freeman and the Blanco River. It meanders though significantly well-grazed but comparatively "unspoiled" Hill Country landscape, winding along ridges and above the Wimberley Valley. The aspect of the road allows you to essentially "drive into the sunset", it is a great route to take and has several great sunset vistas along it's path. At night, you can see the town of Wimberley nestled in a valley to the left as you drive north, otherwise there are little signs of human civilization and only two or three houses on the 8 or so miles between RM-12 and the river. The road is worth the drive for the entire stretch, but it has a very pleasantly surprising climatic finish during the last mile before you reach the Blanco River. Driving around a bend, you suddenly see a cliff with a spectacular (not just by Texas standards) valley open up in front of you. It's the sort of thing that Ansel Adams would photograph. Several friends and I have simply driven out there to hang out on top of a pile of boulders that sits at the top of the cliff. That sounds mundane, but only to those who have never driven out to this place. During unusually wet seasons, the valley below is a stark green. During seasonal drought periods (such as right now) the valley is a collection of golden colors, and still a great sight. There is actually a seasonal waterfall (only after a heavy rainfall) that cascades down into a canyon that is created by a sharp bend in the cliff. It is at this bend where the road finally drops (steeply) into the valley and emerges in a different world with tall pecan trees and a collection of picturesque small organic farms that exist on the more agriculture friendly riparian (riverside) soil. This is a sharp change from the first several miles of the drive, which is a typical hill country landscape (which is unique, but with shallow rocky soil and other typical semi-arid limitations) of short drought-tolerant oak trees, invasive juniper cedars, chaparral-like shrubs, and large boulder features covered with yuccas and prickly pear cacti. The stretch ends at a primitive one-lane low water crossing across the Blanco River. The river here looks like something out of a movie. The flow varies greatly depending on rainfall...it can be a trickle, or it can be a torrent of roaring rapids...which is the case after a heavy rainfall. This highlights a downside of the road, if it rains, you don't want to be on it as the washes it goes through flood at several points. Also, the crossing here floods easily, and if this is the case you have to turn around and drive all the way back to San Marcos instead of being able to continue onto Wimberley. Also, it's a rural county road that is narrow with sharp curves and a few annoying dips that can take you by surprise when driving, so it's best to do so with caution. However, if you live anywhere close to San Marcos or Austin you should drive down this road at some point...I promise it will give you a greater appreciate for the part of the world that you live in. To get there: Take Ranch Road 12 west out of San Marcos...it is literally the first paved right turn after you leave the city limits.
Ranch Road 32 over Devils Backbone - between the Comal County Line and RM-3424: Driving on this road out of the Wimberley Valley, you proceed along a fairly level stretch for about 4 miles...it remains level, which means if you don't look to the right after crossing the Comal County line you would fail to realize that you're next to another one of the best views in this area. Every time I have driven people down this road for the first time and tell them to look to the right they are completely suprised by the view that suddenly appears to the right. The features become more obvious as the road ascends to the top of the ridge, which it follows for two very scenic miles. Near the highest point, there's a rest stop where you can pull off and admire the view without worrying about driving at the same time. Unfortunately the land on either side of the road is privately owned and fenced off. It's commonly trespassed on, but I have heard more than one story of DPS officers waiting by cars for people to return and give them a citation. There's also a cross inscribed with the name "Erin" at the rest stop...presumably a memorial to someone who fell down the side of the ridge. I didn't know this for sure, so I did some research. Apparently the "Ghost Hunters of Texas" have heard weird stuff there and it turns out there was an "Unsolved Mysteries" episode about Devil's Backbone and all of the alleged "hauntings" that have happened there ranging from Spanish Monks to some ghost wolf thing... interesting. I'll have to check it out later on. (http://www.ghosthuntersoft
Ranch Road 2222 - Austin, TX between Capital of Texas Highway (Loop 360) and Mopac/Loop 1: This is the first urban road (technically, it is called "Urban Road 2222", but changing the signs for this and other RM and FM roads in suburbanization areas would be an unnecessary expense so they are still signed as they were originally named. This is a fact so obscure I don't even think you could impress your friends with it). This is one of the most spectacular drives in Travis County, and remarkable that the entire stretch is within the city limits of Austin. It winds up the Balcones Escarpment from Mopac around bends and through the canyonlands until it reaches a point above Loop 360 where it simultaneously hugs a steep hillside while providing a scenic look at Lake Austin below, with the iconic "360 Bridge" in the distance. Definitely a road to take sometime if you haven't already. It'll surpass what you would expect to find in the urban part of the Austin Metro area. To get there: Take the Mopac Freeway north from Downtown and exit RM-2222/Northland Dr. Turn left at the light and enjoy several scenic miles of a beautiful urban landscape.
Ranch Road 1888 from Ranch Road 1623 west of Blanco to Luckenbach via RM-1376: I really like this route because it embodies pretty much everything that I like about the Hill Country. Starting a few miles west of Blanco, RM-1888 winds alongside the picturesque Blanco River toward it's headwaters in a beautiful valley. About every mile or so you see an interesting old (mostly German) stone farmhouse. The road forks after about 5 miles you climb up and out of the valley. Cutting through Northeastern Kendall County, the road takes you over wide-open ranch country ridgetops where you can see for miles. The road takes a right turn north into Gillespie county toward Fredericksburg. The landscape levels a bit before you pass by the legendary "town" of Luckenbach (pop 3)...which was made famous by Willie Nelson who wrote "Everybody's Somebody in Luckenbach" and has held his huge Fourth of July Picnic there on more than one occasion. Everytime I've stopped there I have seen an interesting collection of people hanging out around the old post office and general store. A lot of old-school bikers but also plenty of old folk-music loving hippies...the kind that end up and the Kerrville Folk Festival for 18 days. The place seems lost in time and is, despite it's status as a tourist stop, a truly unique element of Texas culture.To get there, take RM-12/32 from San Marcos to U.S. 281. Turn Right and go to the center of Blanco. The town's only traffic light is your turn for RM-1623. RM-1888 is a few miles west of town.
Farm to Market Road 972 - Williamson County from FM-1105 in Walburg to State Highway 95: This is the first non-Hill Country road that I've listed (it's just east of IH-35 north of Georgetown), the terrain is mostly a fairly level but rolling transition between the Hill Country to the West and the dull flatness of the fertile Blackland Prairie belt that runs parallel to IH-35 on the East. Williamson County is generally not my favorite place in the world and one could assume that if I found a road there that I liked it would probably be west of the Interstate. However, it is the unexpected beauty that I find along this road that puts it on this list. Another part of my attachment to this road is personal, it's my favorite part of my drive to visit my parents' at their home and I always look forward to it. The road winds along from the iconic and historic tiny town of Walburg (which retains much of the cultural vibe left over from the German immigrant farmers who settled it) out into the rolling farmland. The sky is immense and development sparse save for a scattering of small farms and country spreads. While there are a lot of curves, they are never so sharp as to require slowing down and it is sparsely recently repaved so it is really smooth as well. But, along with being a fun and enjoyable road, it runs across a farm-intensive landscape of subtle beauty beneath an immense and beautiful wide-open sky. Driving west on this road toward the sunset provides a view that will alter the way you look at the world around you. This road is special to me because it has shown me how beauty can exist in altogether unexpected places. To get there: Take Interstate 35 North of Austin through Georgetown to the Walburg exit just north of SH-130 (Exit 268). Turn right onto FM-972. The stretch that I described begins at FM-1105 in Walburg after about 4 miles.
Reconstruction Site
I normally don't put much stock in "personality tests", espeically an online one, but I took one that had about 75 questions and was labeled as an ENFP. So I looked up the Kiersey definition...and it ended up being so much like how I see myself, and how I hear myself described by others, that I decided that it was legit and wanted to share it. It was really encouraging to read because I often doubt myself...my idealism is more directed toward the world around me and not myself. I am in constant need of encouragement from others around me who know me well enough that I trust them and what they say can make an impact on me. But, I think my "emotional sensitivity" and self-doubt kind of go hand in hand. I just need to learn to better appreciate my strengths and my weaknesses.
If you are reading this and recognize it as me then you are probably my friend and if you are my friend I really do appreciate you. Feel free to either affirm this or point out if I am off-base. Either way I will appreciate it.
---
ENFP description:
Idealist Portrait of the Champion (ENFP)
Like the other Idealists, Champions are rather rare, say two or three percent of the population, but even more than the others they consider intense emotional experiences as being vital to a full life. Champions have a wide range and variety of emotions, and a great passion for novelty. They see life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil, and they want to experience all the meaningful events and fascinating people in the world. The most outgoing of the Idealists, Champions often can't wait to tell others of their extraordinary experiences. Champions can be tireless in talking with others, like fountains that bubble and splash, spilling over their own words to get it all out. And usually this is not simple storytelling; Champions often speak (or write) in the hope of revealing some truth about human experience, or of motivating others with their powerful convictions. Their strong drive to speak out on issues and events, along with their boundless enthusiasm and natural talent with language, makes them the most vivacious and inspiring of all the types.
Fiercely individualistic, Champions strive toward a kind of personal authenticity, and this intention always to be themselves is usually quite attractive to others. At the same time, Champions have outstanding intuitive powers and can tell what is going on inside of others, reading hidden emotions and giving special significance to words or actions. In fact, Champions are constantly scanning the social environment, and no intriguing character or silent motive is likely to escape their attention. Far more than the other Idealists, Champions are keen and probing observers of the people around them, and are capable of intense concentration on another individual. Their attention is rarely passive or casual. On the contrary, Champions tend to be extra sensitive and alert, always ready for emergencies, always on the lookout for what's possible.
Champions are good with people and usually have a wide range of personal relationships. They are warm and full of energy with their friends. They are likable and at ease with colleagues, and handle their employees or students with great skill. They are good in public and on the telephone, and are so spontaneous and dramatic that others love to be in their company. Champions are positive, exuberant people, and often their confidence in the goodness of life and of human nature makes good things happen.
If you are reading this and recognize it as me then you are probably my friend and if you are my friend I really do appreciate you. Feel free to either affirm this or point out if I am off-base. Either way I will appreciate it.
---
ENFP description:
Idealist Portrait of the Champion (ENFP)
Like the other Idealists, Champions are rather rare, say two or three percent of the population, but even more than the others they consider intense emotional experiences as being vital to a full life. Champions have a wide range and variety of emotions, and a great passion for novelty. They see life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil, and they want to experience all the meaningful events and fascinating people in the world. The most outgoing of the Idealists, Champions often can't wait to tell others of their extraordinary experiences. Champions can be tireless in talking with others, like fountains that bubble and splash, spilling over their own words to get it all out. And usually this is not simple storytelling; Champions often speak (or write) in the hope of revealing some truth about human experience, or of motivating others with their powerful convictions. Their strong drive to speak out on issues and events, along with their boundless enthusiasm and natural talent with language, makes them the most vivacious and inspiring of all the types.
Fiercely individualistic, Champions strive toward a kind of personal authenticity, and this intention always to be themselves is usually quite attractive to others. At the same time, Champions have outstanding intuitive powers and can tell what is going on inside of others, reading hidden emotions and giving special significance to words or actions. In fact, Champions are constantly scanning the social environment, and no intriguing character or silent motive is likely to escape their attention. Far more than the other Idealists, Champions are keen and probing observers of the people around them, and are capable of intense concentration on another individual. Their attention is rarely passive or casual. On the contrary, Champions tend to be extra sensitive and alert, always ready for emergencies, always on the lookout for what's possible.
Champions are good with people and usually have a wide range of personal relationships. They are warm and full of energy with their friends. They are likable and at ease with colleagues, and handle their employees or students with great skill. They are good in public and on the telephone, and are so spontaneous and dramatic that others love to be in their company. Champions are positive, exuberant people, and often their confidence in the goodness of life and of human nature makes good things happen.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Songs that Mean Stuff
I really like when I hear a song where the subject matter is something other than simple vague emotional topics (love/hate/frustration or whatever), or goes beyond the usual topics (relationships, growing up, failed relationships...that's usually it). There's a place for music that is just of fun...in fact I like a lot of bands that are just that. But, it's really cool to come across songs in genres that where songs are usually superficial, vacuous or not very serious, that actually have a meaning to a specific message or story that is really important and profound. I espeically like finding these songs because they are usually set to a style of music that I really enjoy listening to. It's a win-win situation
For me, I like music that I enjoy listening to. I try to avoid feeling forced into liking certain bands, nor not like them (as in the case of one of the bands on this list actually) by people around me or the people who decide what is "cool" this week (i.e. Pitchfork). For that reason, I still listen to a lot of the ska-punk stuff that I grew up listening to. If I don't like music or a band, it's for the same reasons...at least that is more and more the case (I have had periods where I got caught up in the "scene points" hole of being persuaded by trends over whether or not I would enjoy a band otherwise).
Anyway, that's enough explanation. Here are some songs that I appreciate for being specifically meaningful (not just to me, but to larger issues in society or larger stories that should be important lessons to that society).
Five Iron Frenzy - Banner Year This song always comes to mind when I think of this subject, because it appears on their "Our Newest Album Ever" album after a song about losing a blue comb at age 7 and a couple of songs before a song about Canada that declares it the "Maple Leaf State" and how they have Slurpee's made from venison ("that's deer") and lots of lumber, and lumberjacks, and logs (I really miss this band). Point being, they wrote a lot of funny and non-serious songs, which makes their occasional serious songs worth noting. Banner Year is probably the best example, because it's essentially about the genocide of Native-Americans in the 1800's...not exactly a typical topic for bands whose albums were sold at Christian Bookstores. The chorus is one that would make any America-loving Right-Wing uber-patriot cringe:
"Wave your flag. Salivate.
Stirring feelings of pride and hate.
A peace of cloth can't hold your faith."
It seems that some pretend that Five Iron didn't write these songs ("Anthem" has a similar theme), or that the message wasn't as strong as I see it. I don't know if that's the case, but I find that these songs received little recognition when they were ideologically profound coming from a band whose audience was mostly the suburban kids of the "Christian-Right". I don't think Reese Roper's songs where inherently political...they were written on the grounds that as a Christian, one shouldn't get sucked into the trap of thinking that patriotism is something that goes hand in hand with Christianity. In any case, I admire Roper and his band for going after subjects that, if they had been less successful in the "Christian-scene", they probably would not have been allowed to address, espeically if they had been on one of the major Christian radio labels. But, like most of their less non-serious songs, Roper's religious viewpoint shines through the message. It was refreshing to see it done using relevant topics and outside of the forumlized christian music industry blandness.
Say Anything - Alive with the Glory of Love Those who know me may have heard me speak of this band in less than glowing terms at times...essentially though, that was due to a combination of misunderstanding (frontman Max Bemis is ridiculously bi-polar and very honest about that in his music, which explains a lot of it) and not really giving them a fair chance. So, after about two and a half years of having the album "...Is a Real Boy" shamelessly promoted to my by a friend I gave it another spin. I honestly can't say it's anything less than a really good album. But, Alive with the Glory of Love is the one song in particular sticks out because of it's meaning (and the fact that it's not about Max, his problems, and how he is bi-polar...which again makes for an interesting album).
I guess another reason why I found this song so meaningful is my memory of visiting the well-preserved parts of the Auschwitz Death Camp outside of Krakow Poland last summer. The S.S. during the Holocaust killed more people here than anywhere else...Jews, Poles, people who were not Jewish but looked like me (brown eyes, brown curly hair) Gypsies, resistance fighters, Christians who sympathized with Jews, and homosexuals...among others. It was a mentally-disturbing 6 hour tour of a place that is still permeated by a freakish spirit of pure death. Seeing the "wall of death", starvation rooms and walking into the one gas chamber that the Nazi's didn't have time to destroy before fleeing the approaching Soviets has an effect on you. One of those affects, was giving me an avenue to more fully appreciate this song.
The tune is possibly semi-biographical (Max's Grandparents were involved in the Holocaust), and is about two Jews in love in Nazi occupied Poland who are to be inevitably separated and sent to their "separate work camps". The concentration camp of Treblinka (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treblinka_extermination_camp ) is specifically mentioned in the song, it's a place where at least 700,000 (but possibly more) people were exterminated northeast of Warsaw. I'm curious as to whether the sprawling ghetto mentioned in the song is actually Warsaw (it was one of the largest and most notorious Jewish ghettos in occupied Europe). The genius of the song is that it starts off sounding as a typical love song, but lyrically evolves as it progresses as the context of the story is revealed as the holocaust. It's safe to say that I consider this to be one of the more meaningful songs that I have heard in recent years. The story is sad, but the tone of the song is also upbeat and hopeful. It's songs like this that make me kick myself for being so quick to dismiss bands because peer or scene pressure is telling me that they "suck" because maybe the "wrong kids" like them, or something, I dunno. But I've been given another reason to stop considering any of that and just enjoy music be more open minded and learn things from the words that songs contain.
Piebald - If Marcus Garvey Dies, Marcus Garvey Lives "They teach us what to think but do not teach us how to think". Piebald is a power-pop-punkish-whatever band that recently disbanded...and not enough people listened to them even though they were profoundly enjoyable and a reasonably good band. In between writing songs about dance parties, stalkers and yellow cars they occasionally cranked out a song about a really interesting specific subject. I had no idea who Marcus Garvey was. Thanks to this song, now I do. Turns out he was really important, but history classes rarely mention him it seems.
"He (Marcus Garvey) was the first man of color to lead and develop a mass movement. He was the first man on a mass scale and level to give millions of Negroes a sense of dignity and destiny. And make the Negro feel he was somebody."
- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcus_garvey
Less than Jake - Lockdown Problems related to urban blight and the decline of American cities are not exactly usual fodder for ska-punk songs...which is why I like Less than Jake so much (the pre-Borders and Boundaries/Anthem albums are my favorites). Lockdown hits on the unfortunate aspects of our current patter of placeless sprawl surrounding dying centers and how things could be better. They also hit on this theme in Boomtown and and some other parts of other songs. Again, unexpected from a band in the ska-punk genre...where songs are more typically about pool parties and such.
At the Drive In - Invalid Litter Dept. It's obvious to most listeners that Cedric Bixler-Zavala's lyrics in At the Drive In and Mars Volta songs rarely seem to make any sense...more of a subconscious stream of words and thoughts with little realistic meaning. Invalid Litter Dept. However, actually does mean something...but you wouldn't easily deduce its meaning without seeing the video that the band made for it.
The song, while still written in Cedric's absurdly roaming and non-nonsensical lyrical style, is about the missing women of Juarez, the Mexican border city across the Rio Grande from At the Drive In's hometown of El Paso. Since the Early 90's the bodies of dozens and dozens of women have turned up in the desert outside of the city and to this day these violent sex crimes remain fully unsolved...leading to theories that anyone from drug cartels to the Federales are involved in the killings. One line in the song goes "the Federales performed their custodial customs quite well". Other lines, such as "they made sure the obituaries showed pictures of smokestacks" are references to the lives of the women, many of whom work in the smoke-belching maquiladora factories (thousands of these exist along the border) which mostly make cheaper goods to be sent across the border into the United States. The video works to explain the meaning behind the more arcane lyrics of the song, and its duration is fully spent on bringing attention to the problem which has received, at best, scattered media attention in the United States (although much more attention in parts of Texas). The song itself is amazing but it's more direct meaning adds a strong layer of emotion to it. I once read an interview with the band where they talked about how several people in the studio broke down crying after they finished recording the song.
Some background on the issue: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1171962
D.I.Y. Documentary Music video for Invalid Litter Dept.: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mb_OrFQN07E
For me, I like music that I enjoy listening to. I try to avoid feeling forced into liking certain bands, nor not like them (as in the case of one of the bands on this list actually) by people around me or the people who decide what is "cool" this week (i.e. Pitchfork). For that reason, I still listen to a lot of the ska-punk stuff that I grew up listening to. If I don't like music or a band, it's for the same reasons...at least that is more and more the case (I have had periods where I got caught up in the "scene points" hole of being persuaded by trends over whether or not I would enjoy a band otherwise).
Anyway, that's enough explanation. Here are some songs that I appreciate for being specifically meaningful (not just to me, but to larger issues in society or larger stories that should be important lessons to that society).
Five Iron Frenzy - Banner Year This song always comes to mind when I think of this subject, because it appears on their "Our Newest Album Ever" album after a song about losing a blue comb at age 7 and a couple of songs before a song about Canada that declares it the "Maple Leaf State" and how they have Slurpee's made from venison ("that's deer") and lots of lumber, and lumberjacks, and logs (I really miss this band). Point being, they wrote a lot of funny and non-serious songs, which makes their occasional serious songs worth noting. Banner Year is probably the best example, because it's essentially about the genocide of Native-Americans in the 1800's...not exactly a typical topic for bands whose albums were sold at Christian Bookstores. The chorus is one that would make any America-loving Right-Wing uber-patriot cringe:
"Wave your flag. Salivate.
Stirring feelings of pride and hate.
A peace of cloth can't hold your faith."
It seems that some pretend that Five Iron didn't write these songs ("Anthem" has a similar theme), or that the message wasn't as strong as I see it. I don't know if that's the case, but I find that these songs received little recognition when they were ideologically profound coming from a band whose audience was mostly the suburban kids of the "Christian-Right". I don't think Reese Roper's songs where inherently political...they were written on the grounds that as a Christian, one shouldn't get sucked into the trap of thinking that patriotism is something that goes hand in hand with Christianity. In any case, I admire Roper and his band for going after subjects that, if they had been less successful in the "Christian-scene", they probably would not have been allowed to address, espeically if they had been on one of the major Christian radio labels. But, like most of their less non-serious songs, Roper's religious viewpoint shines through the message. It was refreshing to see it done using relevant topics and outside of the forumlized christian music industry blandness.
Say Anything - Alive with the Glory of Love Those who know me may have heard me speak of this band in less than glowing terms at times...essentially though, that was due to a combination of misunderstanding (frontman Max Bemis is ridiculously bi-polar and very honest about that in his music, which explains a lot of it) and not really giving them a fair chance. So, after about two and a half years of having the album "...Is a Real Boy" shamelessly promoted to my by a friend I gave it another spin. I honestly can't say it's anything less than a really good album. But, Alive with the Glory of Love is the one song in particular sticks out because of it's meaning (and the fact that it's not about Max, his problems, and how he is bi-polar...which again makes for an interesting album).
I guess another reason why I found this song so meaningful is my memory of visiting the well-preserved parts of the Auschwitz Death Camp outside of Krakow Poland last summer. The S.S. during the Holocaust killed more people here than anywhere else...Jews, Poles, people who were not Jewish but looked like me (brown eyes, brown curly hair) Gypsies, resistance fighters, Christians who sympathized with Jews, and homosexuals...among others. It was a mentally-disturbing 6 hour tour of a place that is still permeated by a freakish spirit of pure death. Seeing the "wall of death", starvation rooms and walking into the one gas chamber that the Nazi's didn't have time to destroy before fleeing the approaching Soviets has an effect on you. One of those affects, was giving me an avenue to more fully appreciate this song.
The tune is possibly semi-biographical (Max's Grandparents were involved in the Holocaust), and is about two Jews in love in Nazi occupied Poland who are to be inevitably separated and sent to their "separate work camps". The concentration camp of Treblinka (http://en.wikipedia.org/wi
Piebald - If Marcus Garvey Dies, Marcus Garvey Lives "They teach us what to think but do not teach us how to think". Piebald is a power-pop-punkish-whatever
"He (Marcus Garvey) was the first man of color to lead and develop a mass movement. He was the first man on a mass scale and level to give millions of Negroes a sense of dignity and destiny. And make the Negro feel he was somebody."
- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wi
Less than Jake - Lockdown Problems related to urban blight and the decline of American cities are not exactly usual fodder for ska-punk songs...which is why I like Less than Jake so much (the pre-Borders and Boundaries/Anthem albums are my favorites). Lockdown hits on the unfortunate aspects of our current patter of placeless sprawl surrounding dying centers and how things could be better. They also hit on this theme in Boomtown and and some other parts of other songs. Again, unexpected from a band in the ska-punk genre...where songs are more typically about pool parties and such.
At the Drive In - Invalid Litter Dept. It's obvious to most listeners that Cedric Bixler-Zavala's lyrics in At the Drive In and Mars Volta songs rarely seem to make any sense...more of a subconscious stream of words and thoughts with little realistic meaning. Invalid Litter Dept. However, actually does mean something...but you wouldn't easily deduce its meaning without seeing the video that the band made for it.
The song, while still written in Cedric's absurdly roaming and non-nonsensical lyrical style, is about the missing women of Juarez, the Mexican border city across the Rio Grande from At the Drive In's hometown of El Paso. Since the Early 90's the bodies of dozens and dozens of women have turned up in the desert outside of the city and to this day these violent sex crimes remain fully unsolved...leading to theories that anyone from drug cartels to the Federales are involved in the killings. One line in the song goes "the Federales performed their custodial customs quite well". Other lines, such as "they made sure the obituaries showed pictures of smokestacks" are references to the lives of the women, many of whom work in the smoke-belching maquiladora factories (thousands of these exist along the border) which mostly make cheaper goods to be sent across the border into the United States. The video works to explain the meaning behind the more arcane lyrics of the song, and its duration is fully spent on bringing attention to the problem which has received, at best, scattered media attention in the United States (although much more attention in parts of Texas). The song itself is amazing but it's more direct meaning adds a strong layer of emotion to it. I once read an interview with the band where they talked about how several people in the studio broke down crying after they finished recording the song.
Some background on the issue: http://www.npr.org/templat
D.I.Y. Documentary Music video for Invalid Litter Dept.: http://www.youtube.com/wat
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