I Wish the World were Flat Like the Old Days

Today I took a quick trip up to Temple to see my family and specifically my brother Justin who is on leave from the Army until Saturday. He's stationed in Georgia while training before being deployed overseas (but likely not to the Middle East, thankfully). I think he made a great decision to go into the Army, even though it's tough sometimes I can tell it's really positive for him.

My hometown-area of Temple/Belton, Texas is still the same even though it's been growing a great deal. The only real changes really are that there are even more chain restaurants, stores and subdivisions...with the only other change being that none of my best friends from there are ever there anymore. Either they've moved on, or in many cases, their families have moved on to somewhere else...probably someplace more interesting. Temple's still okay I guess if you like excessive and near-constant wind, Starbucks, and flat landscapes, Republicans, dispersed and pointlessly sprawling urban spaces, and driving on streets with people who are shockingly bad at driving cars. Everyone either drives like a really old lady or a 16-year-old. There's a mall with one story and a movie theater. The movie theater is usually packed due to the high amount of disposalble income vs. the lack of things to do. Temple, as a large medical center (mainly because of Scott and White Hospital, where my dad and many of my friend's moms and dads have worked over the years) has more doctors per capita than any other city in the United States...and yet most of them have to still drive (thankfully, just an hour) to Austin if they want to do something out of the ordinary.

Growing up, I was reminded by the smaller and more dull places I would see while driving to other places in Texas, that there were far worse places to live. Being close enough to Austin to be able to easily go to shows there or to avert stir-craziness was a plus...but only being an hour away from a place that radically different (and in my opinion much livelier and better) makes the urge to grow up and leave that painfully average place even stronger. I've known several people who have just upped and moved to Austin, even without getting a job first, just to achieve that almost universal dream of every kid in Bell County of actually living in Austin instead. It was a primary factor in my decision to live in an apartment in South Austin for one of the years that I attended Texas State. I had only lived in the dorms there so I had not yet been able to fully appreciate San Marcos (I definitely do now). And while it was preferable to Temple for sure (and closer to downtown Austin) I still had that need to finally live in a larger city (San Marcos is smaller than Temple, but much cooler, especially for its size). So I did, and it was alright. But, school was far less enjoyable and I didn't connect with my community in San Marcos quite as well (although it was not a social disaster either and in fact I did a lot of growing up living self-supported financially on my own with roommates in Austin). Another equally important factor was, as a financially independent student, I really needed a job that paid the bills and I found it in West Austin. Thus, my apartment was a logical halfway point between work and school. I'm glad to be in San Marcos instead now though, it's a much better fit for me now than it would have been then. I just needed to experience more to understand what I truly liked. I think more people should take those kinds of leaps even if they are not sure it will be better for them...you can't find out unless you actually try to find out. I think all of my experiences over the past few years have led to more agreeable results even if they led to some temporarily very disagreeable circumstances.

My goal is to write something on a journal every day during 2009. I might not accomplish that, but in the attempt I am sure that I will write more. Today at my Grandparent's house I plucked the Diaries of Ronald Reagan (surprise!...remember what I said about Republicans?) off of their shelf. It was fascinating to see the rather human nature of what was written coming from a famous American President. Personal notes, reflections and exclamations of emotion about friends, family and sports interspersed with the geopolitical and national political stuff going on in the nation that he was currently supervising. It was also interesting that he didn't write ever day...sometimes he would cover two or three days in a short note, which is what I usually end up doing when I try to write something every day. I doubt he would have kept such an extensive diary without the goal or writing in it every day...it's a natural goal. But what I gathered is that I shouldn't feel too down if I don't always 100% achieve what I set out to do...because even the most accomplished among us are not always able to accomplish 100% of what they set out to do either. I shouldn't let the fear of not finishing what I set out to do keep me from striving for goals or setting out to do or try new things.

Cheers,

- Jordan

I'm Nonetheless the Librarian

I hate the Alkek Library...as a place to study. It's a giant cold box of doom. But it's 1:30 a.m. and I have no other feasible resort. I also forgot my headphones. Which is great because I am in the first floor (a.k.a. basement) lounge, the only place you can under the rules eat or drink anything in this hellish Orwellian future world. That also means there are vending machine noises, emo scene kid dude talking on his phone, people coughing because they probably have the flu...but hey it's finals week so I'm going to study. I've done that, it literally almost killed me. If you have the flu, talk to your professors, they would probably rather you take a make up exam than end up in the hospital with a severe and life-threatening (without hospitalization) case of pneumonia... unable to eat or drink anything. There's a TV on in the corner playing some extreme sports bloopers show. It and the internet are my only contact with the outside world from this cave inside the Balcones Escarpment. This once was an active fault line. It would be pretty cool if it got active again. It would rid the night of this monotony.

Thanx

It's a ridiculous irony that, looking back on past Thanksgivings, I am particularly awful at being thankful for things on Thanksgiving. Now, I know that you're supposed to be thankful for stuff every day, not just when the calendar tells you to be, but I think that with all of the throwing around of the word "thanks" and whatnot, it is espeically easy (or should be) to find things to be thankful for and then be thankful for them around the 4th Thursday in November.

With this in mind, as I set it, a sign of narcissism on my part that I need to get rid of...I am trying to, in effect, be thankful ahead of the regularly scheduled day. I have a lot to be thankful for...so much...material things are one thing but those are not the things for which I am most thankful...although living in the United States and not being impoverished makes me a lot "richer" and stuff-having than a lot of people in a lot of civilizations throughout history.

I'm thankful for relationships. For the friendships that I've had, and for the ones I have, and for the ones I will have. I'm thankful for the great friendships and even the broken relationships that were once not-broken. From friends and from past experiences I have learned so much. There is nothing at all more important to me than the people I love. If someone tomorrow walked up to me and offered me a job tomorrow that paid a six-figure (or seven, or eight...etc...) income in another city, and I had to forsake all of my friendships tomorrow in order to take it, and leave everyone behind tomorrow, there is no way that I would do that. I don't know if I would to it period. I can't put a price tag on what they mean to me. I will do everything I can for them. I know that many of them would do almost anything for me. I have never experienced love and community like I do every day right now in Austin-San Marcos (and with other friends that I have in other regions). I know this time will end for our community as it exists right now, and many of us will have to move on, but I hope that we never lose our friendships despite any distance. We are the friends that we will have for the rest of our lives. I love you guys so much.


I'm thankful so much for my family. I can't describe how grateful I am that I have a great relationship with both my Mom and my Dad...and that they also are in love with each other after so many years of marriage. They are ridiculously important to me and I hold an indescribable amount of respect for them. I wish so much that other kids could have what I have...so many families and homes are so broken. It's such a sad thing to see. I remember as the same thing was threatening my own family, but somehow we withstood that storm. The sheer intensity of this blessing is not lost on me, nor is the blessing of loving Grandparents or extended family who I will see this Thursday on the street I grew up on in Belton...as I have for every Thanksgiving since I first registered memories.

I am thankful for the experiences I have had...for the things I have learned, for the privilege of attending Texas State and for the crucially important things I have learned here about the world and about myself, in class and outside of it. In the quad or at Sewell Park...or in a car somewhere on some ranch road in the Texas Hill Country. I am thankful that I can go to Emo's or a number of other places in Austin and see bands whose music has defined and influenced my life in incredibly positive ways. I am thankful that I have gotten to travel and experience things that students with my socio-economic background often do not get to do. I am thankful that everywhere I go where I live I see someone I know, and that I can see most of the people I know or do anything that I need to do without setting foot in a car. I am thankful that when I do need to leave town, my reliable car allows me to do so. I am thankful that bands like This Will Destroy You can provide a soundtrack to my life and where I live without words. I am thankful for the never-ending festival of joy that a bunch of my friends started when they decided to form a band called Zlam Dunk (seriously, it's been so much fun to be around). And I am thankful that Mexican Food is so delicious and plentiful around here! I am so thankful that I have gotten to live in a place where the sun shines over 300 days a year, and where the winters are mild, often pleasant, and sometimes even warm. I am thankful that I will get to wear shorts on Thanksgiving day. I am thankful that the apartment complex I live in is not going to get bulldozed like we thought, and that so many of my best friends, the people who are the most important thing I have, live within seconds of each other here. I am thankful for how God has led my life, even if I don't always seem so or am often skeptical of it.

I am thankful that I am allowed to be a part of so many lives, and that so many lives are a part of mine.

Thanks to anyone that reads this. You mean something to me...probably a lot...probably more than you know.

- Jordan

A Constant Work in Progress

It is natural to be afraid. I am a human being, hopelessly weak and incapable of perfect love or perfect anything. But, fear can be paralyzing, it often holds me back. But it shouldn't have any power over me. I really think the only thing I should be afraid is my willingness to let fear dictate what decisions I (don't) make. I don't want to be afraid anymore to tell people what I am feeling, or how much they mean to me. And I don't want to be afraid anymore to take any kind of risk. While some risks end in pain and/or disappointment, others are beautiful in their result. But if you are unwilling to risk everything you have for something greater than yourself or your selfish nature, then you can only gain nothing.

To love someone is always great risk. But to refuse to love, for fear of the risk involved, is always great tragedy. I've been telling myself that I shouldn't ever take that risk again, that I should never look for something meaningful in someone else ever again. That it's not worth it. This is a great example of how I am prone to lying to myself. When we let fear control us, we don't need obstacles or enemies. When we let fear control us, we are our own greatest obstacle and our own worst enemy. I've never fully admonished this in myself...because residing in fear and retraction is, while a sad and lonely existence, less "risky" or difficult than seeking a change to that restrictive fear-based mindset.

I hope that courage will find me soon.

BYYAAAHHHH!!!!!

Yes, the title is a reference to Howard Dean.

Hey everyone. I'm sitting in a computer lab. The computers are not being my friends. They never are though. That's okay though, it just means I'll have to take more time away from people later this semester in order to do the stuff that I'm not able to do tonight.

It's a quiet night in San Marcos, and getting colder (it was in the 80's today, which was great). I hope people are up to stuff later. My life is so strange, it's like I am half-asleep all of the time. And when I'm asleep I have these vivid dreams that make me feel as if I'm half awake. This basically is leading me to feel as if my life is one long dream with pros and cons. I don't know if that's the best thing. It makes me more numb to negatives, which is good in the near-term...but it also means I am less in touch with "reality" and the needs of those around me as well as people I don't know. It's not necessarily a breeding ground for spiritual activity either. I think I have begun to run from my feelings, emotions, problems and things that I might need to face by not running at all, but retreating into some kind of weird NON-drug induced haze. Individual days don't even seem to exist anymore. Time is just blurring. My days are running together and all of my thoughts, experiences and interactions seem to be tangled. Is this good?

Still, I can hold onto the following:

1. I am imperfect, but I'm not held to a standard of perfection
2. I can be less hard on myself and that is okay
3. I have amazing friends
4. Love exists, even if I am constantly on the outside of it...and at a loss to explain why
5. I can't stop thinking about Zlam Dunk
6. I live in a region, city, neighborhood and apartment that is the best situation I could imagine for myself at this point in my life.
7. Clarity by Jimmy Eat World will always be one of the greatest albums ever.
8. No matter how I feel in a given moment, it is not an eternity, and I won't feel that way forever
9. I am never justified to feel worried about anything
10. I need to get a handle on a seemingly inescapable cycle of self-doubt and self-loathing.
11. I need to find the money to finally buy a drum set, otherwise I will never get to play drums...even though I can.
12. I see more truth in a sunset than I have ever seen in any other person I have met...or myself.

I don't write a lot because I am way too vulnerably honest when I do. If I could write songs on guitar, I would just do that...and write them about people with other names, even though I would really be writing them about myself.

I'm looking way forward to the holidays. And winter road trips.

I'm in Love with the Ordinary

I have to confess, as much as I preach about our need to use less fuel as a society (best way to lower gas prices, as evidenced by the current free-fall in oil prices driven by falling demand *in the United States*) that I love to drive. I love road trips. I see a value in them if they involve time with friends and adventure, and I see the value in a drive on my own when I need to get away from campus just for an hour or so and clear my head. I don't feel so bad about taking the occasional drive though because I rarely drive because I am extremely blessed to live in a place where I can walk to anything I need (including the office where I work on campus). Still, I don't take the ability to drive somewhere distant for granted...and I certainly don't take the "walkability" of my current situation for granted.

This note is not about environmental-political-li

festyle issues though...I'll save that for another time (I'm saving most politically sensitive commentary for after the election...for health purposes and the sake of retaining friendships...It's going to be a long week). Actually, this is about my favorite roads that can be found in the Central Texas and Hill Country regions (my all-time favorite is cliche' but I don't care...California 1 between Monterrey and San Simeon, CA...a.k.a. "Big Sur"). If you've ever gone on a day trip with me you have probably driven down at least a couple of these. So here are my favorites, with a brief description of what I like about them, in no particular order.

Fulton Ranch Road - Hays County, TX between Ranch Road 12 and the Blanco River: This is definately my favorite road near San Marcos and one of my favorites of all time. Many people spend years here without realizing that it exists...and how cool it is. It's more commonly known as "Freeman Ranch Road", because it goes by Freeman Ranch, but it's named for a much larger ranch between Freeman and the Blanco River. It meanders though significantly well-grazed but comparatively "unspoiled" Hill Country landscape, winding along ridges and above the Wimberley Valley. The aspect of the road allows you to essentially "drive into the sunset", it is a great route to take and has several great sunset vistas along it's path. At night, you can see the town of Wimberley nestled in a valley to the left as you drive north, otherwise there are little signs of human civilization and only two or three houses on the 8 or so miles between RM-12 and the river. The road is worth the drive for the entire stretch, but it has a very pleasantly surprising climatic finish during the last mile before you reach the Blanco River. Driving around a bend, you suddenly see a cliff with a spectacular (not just by Texas standards) valley open up in front of you. It's the sort of thing that Ansel Adams would photograph. Several friends and I have simply driven out there to hang out on top of a pile of boulders that sits at the top of the cliff. That sounds mundane, but only to those who have never driven out to this place. During unusually wet seasons, the valley below is a stark green. During seasonal drought periods (such as right now) the valley is a collection of golden colors, and still a great sight. There is actually a seasonal waterfall (only after a heavy rainfall) that cascades down into a canyon that is created by a sharp bend in the cliff. It is at this bend where the road finally drops (steeply) into the valley and emerges in a different world with tall pecan trees and a collection of picturesque small organic farms that exist on the more agriculture friendly riparian (riverside) soil. This is a sharp change from the first several miles of the drive, which is a typical hill country landscape (which is unique, but with shallow rocky soil and other typical semi-arid limitations) of short drought-tolerant oak trees, invasive juniper cedars, chaparral-like shrubs, and large boulder features covered with yuccas and prickly pear cacti. The stretch ends at a primitive one-lane low water crossing across the Blanco River. The river here looks like something out of a movie. The flow varies greatly depending on rainfall...it can be a trickle, or it can be a torrent of roaring rapids...which is the case after a heavy rainfall. This highlights a downside of the road, if it rains, you don't want to be on it as the washes it goes through flood at several points. Also, the crossing here floods easily, and if this is the case you have to turn around and drive all the way back to San Marcos instead of being able to continue onto Wimberley. Also, it's a rural county road that is narrow with sharp curves and a few annoying dips that can take you by surprise when driving, so it's best to do so with caution. However, if you live anywhere close to San Marcos or Austin you should drive down this road at some point...I promise it will give you a greater appreciate for the part of the world that you live in. To get there: Take Ranch Road 12 west out of San Marcos...it is literally the first paved right turn after you leave the city limits.

Ranch Road 32 over Devils Backbone - between the Comal County Line and RM-3424: Driving on this road out of the Wimberley Valley, you proceed along a fairly level stretch for about 4 miles...it remains level, which means if you don't look to the right after crossing the Comal County line you would fail to realize that you're next to another one of the best views in this area. Every time I have driven people down this road for the first time and tell them to look to the right they are completely suprised by the view that suddenly appears to the right. The features become more obvious as the road ascends to the top of the ridge, which it follows for two very scenic miles. Near the highest point, there's a rest stop where you can pull off and admire the view without worrying about driving at the same time. Unfortunately the land on either side of the road is privately owned and fenced off. It's commonly trespassed on, but I have heard more than one story of DPS officers waiting by cars for people to return and give them a citation. There's also a cross inscribed with the name "Erin" at the rest stop...presumably a memorial to someone who fell down the side of the ridge. I didn't know this for sure, so I did some research. Apparently the "Ghost Hunters of Texas" have heard weird stuff there and it turns out there was an "Unsolved Mysteries" episode about Devil's Backbone and all of the alleged "hauntings" that have happened there ranging from Spanish Monks to some ghost wolf thing... interesting. I'll have to check it out later on. (http://www.ghosthuntersoftexas.com/dbreststop.htm). Still, just being able to look at the view is a treat, and worth the short 15 minutes it takes to get there from San Marcos. The drive out there is also not bad in terms of scenery. To get there: Take Ranch Road 12 west of San Marcos. At the blinking light "junction" in Wimberley continue straght as the road becomes Ranch Road 32. "The Backbone" is 5 miles from this point.

Ranch Road 2222 - Austin, TX between Capital of Texas Highway (Loop 360) and Mopac/Loop 1: This is the first urban road (technically, it is called "Urban Road 2222", but changing the signs for this and other RM and FM roads in suburbanization areas would be an unnecessary expense so they are still signed as they were originally named. This is a fact so obscure I don't even think you could impress your friends with it). This is one of the most spectacular drives in Travis County, and remarkable that the entire stretch is within the city limits of Austin. It winds up the Balcones Escarpment from Mopac around bends and through the canyonlands until it reaches a point above Loop 360 where it simultaneously hugs a steep hillside while providing a scenic look at Lake Austin below, with the iconic "360 Bridge" in the distance. Definitely a road to take sometime if you haven't already. It'll surpass what you would expect to find in the urban part of the Austin Metro area. To get there: Take the Mopac Freeway north from Downtown and exit RM-2222/Northland Dr. Turn left at the light and enjoy several scenic miles of a beautiful urban landscape.

Ranch Road 1888 from Ranch Road 1623 west of Blanco to Luckenbach via RM-1376: I really like this route because it embodies pretty much everything that I like about the Hill Country. Starting a few miles west of Blanco, RM-1888 winds alongside the picturesque Blanco River toward it's headwaters in a beautiful valley. About every mile or so you see an interesting old (mostly German) stone farmhouse. The road forks after about 5 miles you climb up and out of the valley. Cutting through Northeastern Kendall County, the road takes you over wide-open ranch country ridgetops where you can see for miles. The road takes a right turn north into Gillespie county toward Fredericksburg. The landscape levels a bit before you pass by the legendary "town" of Luckenbach (pop 3)...which was made famous by Willie Nelson who wrote "Everybody's Somebody in Luckenbach" and has held his huge Fourth of July Picnic there on more than one occasion. Everytime I've stopped there I have seen an interesting collection of people hanging out around the old post office and general store. A lot of old-school bikers but also plenty of old folk-music loving hippies...the kind that end up and the Kerrville Folk Festival for 18 days. The place seems lost in time and is, despite it's status as a tourist stop, a truly unique element of Texas culture.To get there, take RM-12/32 from San Marcos to U.S. 281. Turn Right and go to the center of Blanco. The town's only traffic light is your turn for RM-1623. RM-1888 is a few miles west of town.

Farm to Market Road 972 - Williamson County from FM-1105 in Walburg to State Highway 95: This is the first non-Hill Country road that I've listed (it's just east of IH-35 north of Georgetown), the terrain is mostly a fairly level but rolling transition between the Hill Country to the West and the dull flatness of the fertile Blackland Prairie belt that runs parallel to IH-35 on the East. Williamson County is generally not my favorite place in the world and one could assume that if I found a road there that I liked it would probably be west of the Interstate. However, it is the unexpected beauty that I find along this road that puts it on this list. Another part of my attachment to this road is personal, it's my favorite part of my drive to visit my parents' at their home and I always look forward to it. The road winds along from the iconic and historic tiny town of Walburg (which retains much of the cultural vibe left over from the German immigrant farmers who settled it) out into the rolling farmland. The sky is immense and development sparse save for a scattering of small farms and country spreads. While there are a lot of curves, they are never so sharp as to require slowing down and it is sparsely recently repaved so it is really smooth as well. But, along with being a fun and enjoyable road, it runs across a farm-intensive landscape of subtle beauty beneath an immense and beautiful wide-open sky. Driving west on this road toward the sunset provides a view that will alter the way you look at the world around you. This road is special to me because it has shown me how beauty can exist in altogether unexpected places. To get there: Take Interstate 35 North of Austin through Georgetown to the Walburg exit just north of SH-130 (Exit 268). Turn right onto FM-972. The stretch that I described begins at FM-1105 in Walburg after about 4 miles.

Reconstruction Site

I normally don't put much stock in "personality tests", espeically an online one, but I took one that had about 75 questions and was labeled as an ENFP. So I looked up the Kiersey definition...and it ended up being so much like how I see myself, and how I hear myself described by others, that I decided that it was legit and wanted to share it. It was really encouraging to read because I often doubt myself...my idealism is more directed toward the world around me and not myself. I am in constant need of encouragement from others around me who know me well enough that I trust them and what they say can make an impact on me. But, I think my "emotional sensitivity" and self-doubt kind of go hand in hand. I just need to learn to better appreciate my strengths and my weaknesses.

If you are reading this and recognize it as me then you are probably my friend and if you are my friend I really do appreciate you. Feel free to either affirm this or point out if I am off-base. Either way I will appreciate it.

---

ENFP description:

Idealist Portrait of the Champion (ENFP)

Like the other Idealists, Champions are rather rare, say two or three percent of the population, but even more than the others they consider intense emotional experiences as being vital to a full life. Champions have a wide range and variety of emotions, and a great passion for novelty. They see life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil, and they want to experience all the meaningful events and fascinating people in the world. The most outgoing of the Idealists, Champions often can't wait to tell others of their extraordinary experiences. Champions can be tireless in talking with others, like fountains that bubble and splash, spilling over their own words to get it all out. And usually this is not simple storytelling; Champions often speak (or write) in the hope of revealing some truth about human experience, or of motivating others with their powerful convictions. Their strong drive to speak out on issues and events, along with their boundless enthusiasm and natural talent with language, makes them the most vivacious and inspiring of all the types.

Fiercely individualistic, Champions strive toward a kind of personal authenticity, and this intention always to be themselves is usually quite attractive to others. At the same time, Champions have outstanding intuitive powers and can tell what is going on inside of others, reading hidden emotions and giving special significance to words or actions. In fact, Champions are constantly scanning the social environment, and no intriguing character or silent motive is likely to escape their attention. Far more than the other Idealists, Champions are keen and probing observers of the people around them, and are capable of intense concentration on another individual. Their attention is rarely passive or casual. On the contrary, Champions tend to be extra sensitive and alert, always ready for emergencies, always on the lookout for what's possible.

Champions are good with people and usually have a wide range of personal relationships. They are warm and full of energy with their friends. They are likable and at ease with colleagues, and handle their employees or students with great skill. They are good in public and on the telephone, and are so spontaneous and dramatic that others love to be in their company. Champions are positive, exuberant people, and often their confidence in the goodness of life and of human nature makes good things happen.

Songs that Mean Stuff

I really like when I hear a song where the subject matter is something other than simple vague emotional topics (love/hate/frustration or whatever), or goes beyond the usual topics (relationships, growing up, failed relationships...that's usually it). There's a place for music that is just of fun...in fact I like a lot of bands that are just that. But, it's really cool to come across songs in genres that where songs are usually superficial, vacuous or not very serious, that actually have a meaning to a specific message or story that is really important and profound. I espeically like finding these songs because they are usually set to a style of music that I really enjoy listening to. It's a win-win situation

For me, I like music that I enjoy listening to. I try to avoid feeling forced into liking certain bands, nor not like them (as in the case of one of the bands on this list actually) by people around me or the people who decide what is "cool" this week (i.e. Pitchfork). For that reason, I still listen to a lot of the ska-punk stuff that I grew up listening to. If I don't like music or a band, it's for the same reasons...at least that is more and more the case (I have had periods where I got caught up in the "scene points" hole of being persuaded by trends over whether or not I would enjoy a band otherwise).

Anyway, that's enough explanation. Here are some songs that I appreciate for being specifically meaningful (not just to me, but to larger issues in society or larger stories that should be important lessons to that society).

Five Iron Frenzy - Banner Year This song always comes to mind when I think of this subject, because it appears on their "Our Newest Album Ever" album after a song about losing a blue comb at age 7 and a couple of songs before a song about Canada that declares it the "Maple Leaf State" and how they have Slurpee's made from venison ("that's deer") and lots of lumber, and lumberjacks, and logs (I really miss this band). Point being, they wrote a lot of funny and non-serious songs, which makes their occasional serious songs worth noting. Banner Year is probably the best example, because it's essentially about the genocide of Native-Americans in the 1800's...not exactly a typical topic for bands whose albums were sold at Christian Bookstores. The chorus is one that would make any America-loving Right-Wing uber-patriot cringe:

"Wave your flag. Salivate.
Stirring feelings of pride and hate.
A peace of cloth can't hold your faith."

It seems that some pretend that Five Iron didn't write these songs ("Anthem" has a similar theme), or that the message wasn't as strong as I see it. I don't know if that's the case, but I find that these songs received little recognition when they were ideologically profound coming from a band whose audience was mostly the suburban kids of the "Christian-Right". I don't think Reese Roper's songs where inherently political...they were written on the grounds that as a Christian, one shouldn't get sucked into the trap of thinking that patriotism is something that goes hand in hand with Christianity. In any case, I admire Roper and his band for going after subjects that, if they had been less successful in the "Christian-scene", they probably would not have been allowed to address, espeically if they had been on one of the major Christian radio labels. But, like most of their less non-serious songs, Roper's religious viewpoint shines through the message. It was refreshing to see it done using relevant topics and outside of the forumlized christian music industry blandness.

Say Anything - Alive with the Glory of Love Those who know me may have heard me speak of this band in less than glowing terms at times...essentially though, that was due to a combination of misunderstanding (frontman Max Bemis is ridiculously bi-polar and very honest about that in his music, which explains a lot of it) and not really giving them a fair chance. So, after about two and a half years of having the album "...Is a Real Boy" shamelessly promoted to my by a friend I gave it another spin. I honestly can't say it's anything less than a really good album. But, Alive with the Glory of Love is the one song in particular sticks out because of it's meaning (and the fact that it's not about Max, his problems, and how he is bi-polar...which again makes for an interesting album).

I guess another reason why I found this song so meaningful is my memory of visiting the well-preserved parts of the Auschwitz Death Camp outside of Krakow Poland last summer. The S.S. during the Holocaust killed more people here than anywhere else...Jews, Poles, people who were not Jewish but looked like me (brown eyes, brown curly hair) Gypsies, resistance fighters, Christians who sympathized with Jews, and homosexuals...among others. It was a mentally-disturbing 6 hour tour of a place that is still permeated by a freakish spirit of pure death. Seeing the "wall of death", starvation rooms and walking into the one gas chamber that the Nazi's didn't have time to destroy before fleeing the approaching Soviets has an effect on you. One of those affects, was giving me an avenue to more fully appreciate this song.

The tune is possibly semi-biographical (Max's Grandparents were involved in the Holocaust), and is about two Jews in love in Nazi occupied Poland who are to be inevitably separated and sent to their "separate work camps". The concentration camp of Treblinka (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treblinka_extermination_camp) is specifically mentioned in the song, it's a place where at least 700,000 (but possibly more) people were exterminated northeast of Warsaw. I'm curious as to whether the sprawling ghetto mentioned in the song is actually Warsaw (it was one of the largest and most notorious Jewish ghettos in occupied Europe). The genius of the song is that it starts off sounding as a typical love song, but lyrically evolves as it progresses as the context of the story is revealed as the holocaust. It's safe to say that I consider this to be one of the more meaningful songs that I have heard in recent years. The story is sad, but the tone of the song is also upbeat and hopeful. It's songs like this that make me kick myself for being so quick to dismiss bands because peer or scene pressure is telling me that they "suck" because maybe the "wrong kids" like them, or something, I dunno. But I've been given another reason to stop considering any of that and just enjoy music be more open minded and learn things from the words that songs contain.

Piebald - If Marcus Garvey Dies, Marcus Garvey Lives "They teach us what to think but do not teach us how to think". Piebald is a power-pop-punkish-whatever

band that recently disbanded...and not enough people listened to them even though they were profoundly enjoyable and a reasonably good band. In between writing songs about dance parties, stalkers and yellow cars they occasionally cranked out a song about a really interesting specific subject. I had no idea who Marcus Garvey was. Thanks to this song, now I do. Turns out he was really important, but history classes rarely mention him it seems.

"He (Marcus Garvey) was the first man of color to lead and develop a mass movement. He was the first man on a mass scale and level to give millions of Negroes a sense of dignity and destiny. And make the Negro feel he was somebody."
- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcus_garvey

Less than Jake - Lockdown Problems related to urban blight and the decline of American cities are not exactly usual fodder for ska-punk songs...which is why I like Less than Jake so much (the pre-Borders and Boundaries/Anthem albums are my favorites). Lockdown hits on the unfortunate aspects of our current patter of placeless sprawl surrounding dying centers and how things could be better. They also hit on this theme in Boomtown and and some other parts of other songs. Again, unexpected from a band in the ska-punk genre...where songs are more typically about pool parties and such.

At the Drive In - Invalid Litter Dept. It's obvious to most listeners that Cedric Bixler-Zavala's lyrics in At the Drive In and Mars Volta songs rarely seem to make any sense...more of a subconscious stream of words and thoughts with little realistic meaning. Invalid Litter Dept. However, actually does mean something...but you wouldn't easily deduce its meaning without seeing the video that the band made for it.

The song, while still written in Cedric's absurdly roaming and non-nonsensical lyrical style, is about the missing women of Juarez, the Mexican border city across the Rio Grande from At the Drive In's hometown of El Paso. Since the Early 90's the bodies of dozens and dozens of women have turned up in the desert outside of the city and to this day these violent sex crimes remain fully unsolved...leading to theories that anyone from drug cartels to the Federales are involved in the killings. One line in the song goes "the Federales performed their custodial customs quite well". Other lines, such as "they made sure the obituaries showed pictures of smokestacks" are references to the lives of the women, many of whom work in the smoke-belching maquiladora factories (thousands of these exist along the border) which mostly make cheaper goods to be sent across the border into the United States. The video works to explain the meaning behind the more arcane lyrics of the song, and its duration is fully spent on bringing attention to the problem which has received, at best, scattered media attention in the United States (although much more attention in parts of Texas). The song itself is amazing but it's more direct meaning adds a strong layer of emotion to it. I once read an interview with the band where they talked about how several people in the studio broke down crying after they finished recording the song.

Some background on the issue: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1171962

D.I.Y. Documentary Music video for Invalid Litter Dept.: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mb_OrFQN07E

Certian Songs they Get so Scratched into Our Souls

2007 was a ridiculous year for music that I like. For a few years I had complained excessively that many of my favorite bands (especially those from the West Coast) were either broken up or in the process of breaking up...or going on hiatus, or being attacked by bears. Suddently, that trend reversed its self in 2007, as more than a dozen of my favorite bands released albums that either met or exceeded my expectations (and a few others that didn't, but still I'm not complaining). Any of these bands or albums are worth several listens. A couple of them are playing tomorrow night in San Antonio: Portugal. The Man and the RX Bandits (who are currently my second favorite active band now that Slick Shoes has reunited...which deserves a post of its own).

List of 2007 albums that I enjoyed (I might miss a couple):


Comeback Kid - Broadcasting
Explosions in the Sky - All of a Sudden I Miss Everyone (5)
The Fall of Troy - Manipulator
Interpol - Our Love to Admire
Jimmy Eat World - Chase this Light
Meryll - Happened
Minus the Bear - Planet of Ice
Pinback - Autumn of the Seraphs (4)
Portugal. The Man - Church Mouth
RX Bandits - ...And the Battle Begun (1)
Spoon- Ga Ga Ga Ga
Streetlight Manifesto - Somewhere in the Between
This Will Destroy You - Self Titled (2)
The Weakerthans - Reunion Tour (3)

So far in the year 2008 my favorite album has been the new Driver F album: Chase the White Whale. These guys are from Austin, their music is upbeat their live show is solid and their first full-length album is very enjoyable and repeatable. I like these guys and I hope they can be successful and make a living doing what they do well.


I'm sure that I will think of more that I liked over the next few days and I'll update this list.

I Have Better Things To Do Tonight Than Die

So I haven't written in this for a few months. Unfortunately so much stuff has happened in that time that writing about it would be frustrating because I wouldn't have time to get to everything that I consider very important to write about. So, yea, sorry about that. Basically this is the summnary:

- Got back from California
- Had a blast at SXSW
- Wrote a long and difficult paper that I had put off so I could go to California and SXSW
- School tries to wreck my existence
- Met an awesome girl...relationship ensues despite circumstances (and recently, unexpectedly and very unfortunately it ended, trying to deal with that)
- Semester finally ends, somehow successfully
- Flew to Germany on an exchange program 36 hours after last final
- Sucked at speaking German due to lack of time to learn it
- Really enjoyed 95% of my first ever trip to another continent
- Really missed all of my friends
- After 5 weeks and a ton of significant experiences, returned to the States
- Reunited with friends
- Was broke but okay with that since I went to Europe
- Starting working full time on campus
- Felt blessed that I can walk to work since gas is now $4.05 a gallon
- Trying to stay positive about certain things
- Hanging out with my friends that mean so much to me.

That's it basically. I'm going to try to write more. I keep wanting to, but when I sit down my motivation leaves me. The only thing that keeps me even thinking about it is people asking me to.

- Jordan

They're In My Hair! They're in My Hair!

So hello...Rand, and others who have asked me why I don't write on this anymore. The answer is there is no good answer nor is there a good reason for it. I've written a few things elsewhere but for the most part I've been lazy about writing anything non-academically related...or...if you will, important. But now that one of the most ridiculously insanely interesting and crazy months of my life has ended I find myself with some free time and I'm sitting in a coffee shop in Pasadena, California and I've decided to write something.

This last month has taught me a lot of things. Texas can actually matter more than just being a political ATM for candidates. Bill Clinton is shorter than I thought. Barack Obama and Sewell Park are a good match. German people are cool and have different personalities that are unique and interesting. The Mexican border is not all that bad really. Cops tend to get nervous when you take a side road that doesn't go past a border patrol checkpoint and may pull you over (not me, but my friend). Ranch Road 337 is an amazing drive but it's way out there so plan it as a day trip. Old people are scared of change...well, some old people...well come on a lot of them voted for Hillary. The Austin-San Marcos-Central Texas area is surprisingly progressive and is cool with Barack Obama.

I'm leaving the election out of it for now. For one, our part is over in Texas. But I can't escape it out here when people find out I'm from Austin they ask me about it. My friend and I were sitting at a bar here in Pasadena and we had extra seats at our table and invited some people to share it. One guys worked as an animator for Dreamworks and the rest did other typically L.A. things for a living (I had forgotten about just how much sway the entertainment industry holds in this town until I was boarding the plane in Austin and heard people talking about the blockbuster movies that they had worked on). After a while I heard them talking about the election so I mentioned that we had just been buried in national politics in Texas for three weeks. Turned into one of the coolest conversations I've ever had about politics and society and it was with total strangers. The thing is, and I don't know why the perception is that far otherwise, people in the L.A. area generally are as open and friendly and people anywhere else I've been, including Austin. It's just that the scale of everything out here is a lot greater and the environment is a typically more challenging one in which to live...I learned that in just a couple of months the last time I was here.

This is my first time back in L.A. County since the most important, dynamic and influential summer of my life. It's been quite an experience dealing with all of these memories springing back to life. As one of my favorite musicians put it..."ressurecting memories from ashes". I'm going back to Austin-San Marcos on Tuesday just in time to mootch off of SXSW in a way that only a local can. And I guess I have to catch up on some reading for school and other things that aren't truly important, but in many ways of course are, because if I'm not in school right now things are vastly different and a lot of things that I would have thought that I wanted were not the things I wanted after all. Being back in Southern California is a nice bookend to that ridiculous period of my life that began in 2005. Ridiculous in that it's ridiculous how little control I've had over what has happened (which turns to out to be good) and it's ridiculous that I'm blessed with friends that are far greater that I could have hoped or deserved to have.

I love you guys (whoever is reading this).

- Jordan

Don't Mess With (Remotely Dream of Critizing Anything About) Texas

Texas, it's a big state. It's got a lot of stuff in it. It's remarkably diverse ethnically, culturally, geographically, climatologically and economically. I'm not a native Texan (according to some people, this seems to constitute some kind of moral original sin), but I have spent all but 3 infantile years of my life residing right in the center of its giant mass.

As I've grown up, I've gradually gotten to visit other states and places, mainly in the Western 2/3rds of the United States in Canada. For the most part...I've missed home when I'm gone...but I find that there are a few things about Texas that I really don't miss when I'm gone. This is strange because if you talk to 95% of people from this state, you will hear ad-nauseum about how Texas is the best place to live...Texas is the greatest place on Earth, Texas is God's Country etc... I have to stop here and say that I really do love my part of the state, the Central part. I may be a tad biased, but Central Texas, the Austin Area and the Hill Country are clearly the best parts of the state in a number of areas. A great combination of scenery, great cities and towns, a more generally agreeable climate than most parts of the state, and a bunch of overall really great people. However, when I leave this area and travel to other parts of the state, I don't really see how Texas is the best. (Note: I don't think California is the best place either, but I've only been to the Southern part, there are a lot of pros and cons to both places, in general I think Central Texas is a generally better place to live than Southern Cal).

What is the best state? I don't know. I've only visited about 20 of them. This post is not about that. It's about how I'm having a hard time thinking that this state, as a whole, is the best place on Earth. It's way better than a third world country, way better than Arkansas, way better than a lot of places, but this state has some serious drawbacks and problems. I'll throw out a few examples.

*** All of this is my opinion based on a lot of observation and a strong understanding of geography...it is my graduate major and I have spent a lot of time studying this stuff. Please don't take it personally ***

Houston: The climate, lots of rain, lots of humidity, unbelievably unhealthy sprawl and air quality. The largest medical center in the world, in a county where 30% of the population lacks basic health insurance (in Harris County, that means over one million uninsured people) and thus lack access to the level of health care that many often take for granted. Plus, having to leave the city at the same time as 6 million other people because a hurricane is threatening to obliterate it is a complete drag.

Dallas-Fort Worth: The city has its pros and cons, but is surrounded by nothing resembling natural beauty. North Texas in general is basically Iowa with a large metropolitan area in the middle. Dallas has a better climate, but like Houston has similar problems with unnecessary sprawl and a lack of a local flavor...almost everything everywhere you go is either a national or regional chain business. Plus, lacking anything else, DFW is probably the most oppressively materialistic place I have ever spent a significant amount of time in...this includes Southern California.

San Antonio: I generally like San Antonio...but the amount of unrealized potential in the city is bothersome. It has a growing sprawl problem that is made even more noticeable because the city is in a comparatively beautiful setting compared to Dallas and Houston. The city does have more flavor and local culture than Houston and Dallas do, but that tends to disappear as you drive into the suburban northern part of the city. Even within the city there is a lot more that could exist to make it a special place beyond the usual tourist stops.

Other parts of Texas:

The Gulf Coast - Incredibly polluted, due to it being a hub for the petrochemical industry in a state that doesn't really give a flip about the environment. This is a huge drawback.

Rural Texas - It's pretty much like any rural area of any state. With the same pros and cons.

I was going to elaborate, but I think I'm going to leave it at this. I feel I'm being unnecessarily negative. This isn't to upset anyone. I'm just stating the fact that, in general, I don't agree that Texas is some perfect place that is more awesome than anywhere else. I like Texas as a whole, just maybe not as much as a lot of the people that have grown up here. The prominent arrogance of Texans bothers me partly because I don't think it's completely warranted, and partly because it really gets on the nerves of people from other states and we are widely resented for it. I would rather people in other states think favorably of Texas than resent it like they do. And believe me, it's not because of "they're just jealous"...I hear that rebuttal a lot. There's not as much to be jealous about as we lead ourselves to believe.

I think if you really like where you are you should be willing to take a critical look at it and find ways to improve it rather than having a tunnel vision type vacuum of often baseless praise for it.

- Jordan

Daniel Jason Reiter

My friend Daniel Reiter passed away last Thursday. He was twenty-two years old. It is difficult to imagine the number of lives that He touched in those twenty-two years. The void left by his passing is staggering...but I know there is a reason that his life was bottled up into twenty-two intense and full years.

Losing a close friend is something that I have never dealt with this before. I'm not even sure how to deal with it really. Losing a close friend...the first such loss...makes me at once thankful that I have not lost many people in my life...but also regret not caring more to spend more time in eternally important fellowship with others.

Dan is the reason I started writing again on here in the first place. Earlier this month he left me a note that was vividly encouraging, a note which asked that I start writing again. Ten days later he passed away in a car accident on Spring-Cypress road in the northern suburbs of Houston.

Unsure of what to say here...I guess I will just start to express what has been on my mind in the days since Dan's passing. The one thing I know for sure is that I will be posting here much more frequently. I want this journal to be a monument to Dan because without his tacit encouragement I may have stopped writing altogether several times...by doing so I would have robbed myself of a very important outlet for all of the thoughts that jam together in my head and mess with my emotions.

The loss of Dan has been made easier, if that is possible, by the knowledge that his faith in God was so incredible and almost seemingly inhuman (although really, Dan was just as human and fallible as you and I, he simply let a lot more divine love refract though him than I or most others do). Dan also loved to use parenthetical references (as do I). Thus...it will probably take me even longer to get though writing this...and even then...it will not begin to be a shadow of the story of how Dan was an incredible impact on me (an impact that I'm not sure he even realized...and if he did, he would likely draw attention away from it, his humility, in spite of his strong intellectualism, was always something that I always admired).

The road that took Dan's life is the same road I once drove down in 2004 while concerned about the life of another friend named Dan. It's another story entirely but my friend and this girl had hopped on a train in Bryan, Texas...without thinking about any of the potential consequences of their actions...fortunetly they turned out to be safe and I caught up to them in Spring...Dan Reiter's hometown. The first thing I did when I returned to San Marcos was go up to Dan's 12th floor dorm room in Jackson Hall, where he and I spent our first year at Texas State, and excitedly explained how I had visited his hometown under very strange circumstances (Dan was typically excited about most things people had to say to him and this was no exception). I had not been down that road, or to that part of the Houston area, until a few days ago when I rode with three of the dozens of mutual friends that I cried, laughed, and reminisced with last week, as we followed about a mile behind a loosely ordered funeral procession that plodded along to a beautiful grave site. I have never found a site so beautiful so anguishing to look upon.

But I have hope...hope in the community that Dan left behind. Hope that I will join Dan someday and hear that incredible trademark laugh...the one that you could hear from across a crowded room and know that Dan was still there even if you couldn't see him. The laugh that made a person feel relevant, loved, and worth something more than perhaps they thought before they heard it. I also hope that everyone that knew Dan, including myself, will be inspired by the short but remarkable life he led. His impact was anything but short...I'm too clouded by emotion to write anything more right now. I will continue to write about Dan for a long time to come. He is the reason I am writing anyway. He reflected so much love and encouragement and I am just having a hard time dealing with the fact that his bright light has moved on to where my limited human vision cannot see.

"A Man Walks Into A Bar and Says 'OW!'

Sometimes I am doing something around town and I come up with a great idea to write about. That idea conveniently seems to always disappear by the time I am actually in front of a computer, or a notebook, or a sandy beach or whatever. Thus, I will embark on a series of random notes.

Spurs win the NBA, again

I know that some of you guys don't really care about following pro-sports, but I do. I have been an avid Spurs fan since childhood. In fact they are the only reason I ever really care to watch the sport of basketball (I usually prefer football or hockey instead). Last Thursday, the Spurs wrapped up their fourth championship in nine years. The four titles places them behind only the Celtics, Lakers and Bulls in number of total championships...which is even more impressive when you consider that the Lakers and Celtics have been in the league (the Lakers won 5 titles in Minneapolis before moving to Los Angeles and rendering their nickname to irrelevant) about twice as long as the Spurs, and that the Bulls had some guys named Michael Jordan for a number of years.

The Spurs are, to but it simply, a very awesome team. They have pieced together a decade where they have won nearly half of the titles while never failing to miss the playoffs. The anchor of the team is, of course, Center Tim Duncan. Tim is arguably the most unselfish and humble superstar that any pro-sport has seen in my lifetime. This is incredible when you consider that these are even less-common attributes of NBA superstars than those of other sports. I leave the argument of whether or not they are a "dynasty" in pro-sports terms alone until their current run of greatness is over...and it is several years from being over. Not only are they the most well run organization in sports, but they are also still indwelt with the selfless personality that David Robinson originally brought to the team, which has enabled them to avoid the issues and pitfalls that eventually knock teams out of the realm of dominance.

My friends Derek, Jim and myself were in downtown San Antonio the night of the win and it was awesome to witness the display of community that happened there immediately following the win. Thousands of people converging on downtown San Antonio to celebrate the win. I think pro-sports, and particularly the Spurs, are so appealing because it provides one of the few areas where community still happens in our community-starved society.

Go Spurs Go!!!

WWMRD?

I've taken some what of a sabbatical (which isin't a pun this year because there are no major candidates who are jewish) from following the 2008 presidential election. One of the main reasons for this is that the current month is June of 2007...putting the election some 17 months away. Of course the primaries are sooner, but still in 2008. However, when I stopped checking on it Obama and Hillary were tied in the polls, now Hillary has jumped back out to a 13 point lead in the Democratic primary. I guess being scripted and superficial beyond reason is working for her still. Of course, Democrats want to win the election, which is why I am not too concerned that they'll actually end up nominating her.

Meanwhile on the Republican side, you have a situation where the candidate with the most momentum isn't even officially a candidate yet. He is however an actor...that worked for the GOP in California in terms of the Governors seat in the 70's, and then again for the GOP in the White House in 1980, then again in California earlier this decade. It is ironic that in the age of the "Hollywood Left", only center or right-wing candidates seem to be able to go from the screen to the public office. At the same time you have Mitt Romney, the openly Mormon (about as good among the Christian-right as being openly homosexual) former governor of Massachusetts (see previous parenthetical reference). With two strikes against him already among the conservatives that still steer the steadily sinking Republican (big "R") boat...the boat that is helping to torpedo the greater American republican (little "r") boat...Romney is trying to distance his campaign from discussions of the Mormon faith versus the overall Christian faith. But, we are talking about the GOP, so he is fighting an uphill battle in a primary for a party whose religious base has always been exploited by the highest bidder for political gain.

Recently, two of Mitt Romney's rival campaigns have finally (I say this not to condone it, but more to express amazement that it hasn't publicly been an issue among candidates to this point) brought up the issue of Mormonism and Romney. Many Christians, especially those on the right...see Mormonism as a "cult", and not a part of mainstream Christendom at all (see link). This is something significant enough to sink Romney's ship if it is not handled with the utmost tact by his campaign. So far, this is not the case. Romney disputed a question concerning Mormon doctrine and the return of Christ. Mitt said the doctrine is consistent with Christian scripture that Jesus will return to Jerusalem as foretold in the Bible. He was then quickly refuted by a senior member of the Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (which I will henceforth refer to as the LDS Chuch in order to avoid carpal tunnel syndrome) who said that the chuch teaches that, here's one for South Park fans, Jesus will return to several places, including Jerusalem (of course), as well as Jackson County Missouri (of course.......wait...what?). He said it. You can't make this stuff up. Apparently Romney can though...but it simply represents one of the many of his personal viewpoints that have shifted radically as election season continues its gradual downhill sludge toward 2008.

Laces Out, Dan!

There is a national news story coming out of San Diego about the revelation that four dolphins have washed ashore in the city, riddled with bullet holes. It's assumed that someone used them as target practice. I guess they should guard all of the other cute animals at San Diego...Baby Seal Beach at La Jolla Point and the Koala pen at the San Diego zoo in particular. I know that sniping dolphins from land, or a bridge, or wherever, is not a laughing matter...or shouldn't be...maybe...but neither is the fact that dozens of murders occur just 100 miles up the 5 freeway in Los Angeles (and other major urban areas) every month and they are not reported nationally because they are "supposed" to happen. People in Inner-cities are "supposed" to kill each other. But when a few dolphins get shot, there is a national uproar. Sometimes I wonder if I should even bother caring about this because our societal priorities seem gone beyond hope of returning to something resembling rationality. Thinking about it is depressing, but I don't think I should stop thinking about it...but that seems like what most of us have done. More people seem concerned with Paris Hilton getting out of jail early, or the fact that 23 dogs were recently found dead in a house, than with the fact that we are increasingly unable to stem the growing tide of human on human violence that is gradually eating our nation's cities alive.

- Jordan

Meanwhile, back at the Ranch

According to my friend Dan Reiter...I have posted anything here in a long time. He is correct. He also now has a philosophy degree that he finished earning in the time since I last posted this...a couple of dozen of my other friends either graduated...or were surprised to not graduate...an unpleasant surprise to say the least.

A lot has changed for me as well...just like in that David Bowie song...you know, the guy that they named Bowie High School after (that might have been James Bowie...it's a toss up, both make sense). I've had the flu, been depressed, been happy, bought a different car, watched the Spurs blast their way though the Western Conference Playoffs (on the cusp of winning their fourth title tomorrow night), got excited, messed up my wrist during a rare appearance on a skateboard and killed a bear with my bare hands (the bear killing was imaginary). I've also decided to go back to school, grad School...Geography at Texas State...a complete change from any previous plans...at least plans A though D...or even maybe E.

I missed San Marcos way too much to stay away. Many of my best friends are still going to be there. Everything related to returning to school has worked out better than I could have planned. I'm starting in August and I'm very excited.

Thanks and stuff.

- Jordan

I Ran

*cue Flock of Seagulls song/Chariots of Fire theme song*

I went for a run today. Started at my apartment, ended up at the north shore of Town Lake. Three miles, not much for most people but for me, basically a half-marathon (a marathon having been convinently shortened to six miles in this case).

Real Estate Babel

There has been a massive high-rise building boom in the city (Austin), in the past few years. This is largely due to a push by Mayor Will Wynn and the City Council to make downtown as much of a residential area as it is a governmental and entertianment (often one can be the other in Texas) district. Austin, being the famiously livable city that it is, has seen this idea suddently burst into over a dozen high rise projects being built concurrently. More than a couple of the projects are over 40 stories in height. To put this into context. The current tallest building in Austin is the Frost Bank Tower which measures 33 stories (and was only completed three years ago). I originally hoped that such overbuilding would occur, which would drive down prices of downtown housing, which are currently astronomical by Texas standards, with many high rise units selling briskly at as much as $500,000 in a city where the median house value is roughly $175,000 (and also rising sharply). However, it's looking more and more like this will not be the case and living downtown (where many people work simple service jobs in addition to the typical white collar stuff) will be the domain of the affluent.

I guess we'll always have William Cannon Drive, until some real estate genius decides to make it trendy, give it a nice catchy trendy name like "WilCan"...

Ted "I'm a Flaming Heterosexual" Haggard

The news has been on the depressing side lately...then again, when is it not. I found the following items to be funny (in the bad way) or just plain sad)

• Ted "I'm a Flaming Heterosexual" Haggard

Ted Haggard, former president of the National Association of Evangelicals, and pastor of a Colorado Springs "megachurch"...my favorite kind of church to dislike...resigned last year after a former male prostitute revealed that Haggard, who had (and still has somehow) a wife at the time, had a sexual relationship with him for three years, and also committed the lesser sin of using Meth. He decided to reveal the affair after learning that Haggard had been working and preaching in support of Colorado's same-sex marriage ban referendum. Having felt the true brunt of Haggard's hypocrisy he eagerly assembled a horde of salivating press members that passionately spread the news of the bombshell revelation. Having nowhere to go but up, Haggard tearfully apologized and resigned in front of his large stunned congregation. Haggard then went to Phoenix where he has spent the last three months in a self-imposed exile. But then it gets kind of funny...

One of four pastors who is overseeing Haggard's...I guess I'll call it rehab...in Phoenix basically ran to the press this week and exclaimed that Haggard has "discovered" that he is "completely heterosexual".

Hallelujah!!!

That's a very convenient discovery. The kind of convenience that only finding weapons of mass destruction in recently invaded countries can afford. It's amazing that someone can (as is most likely the case) have sex with another man over the course of three years and still be completely heterosexual. Now I don't want to get into the whole debate over whether one can or can't help being gay, I just find this to be somewhat ironic...the fact that three months of bumming around in the desert can cure three years of some pretty not completely heterosexual behavior. I wonder if his rehab consisted of having to sit in a lawn chair on a rocky hillside covered in tall phallic shaped Saguaro cacti until Haggard was unable to notice how phallic they are and then suggest, on his own mind you, that he be taken to a melon patch instead.

A close advisor has recommended that Haggard take on "secular work" for the near future. But I sense that an evangelical (a.k.a. theocratically political) comeback is in his future. I mean, if you can be cured of being gay in just three months, then obviously gays shouldn't get married and Ted Haggard, knowing full well what being gay is like, should lead the moral crusade. Only he has been both fully gay and fully heterosexual. He understands the moral enemy better than most. He's been on the inside...okay I'll stop.

Save us and our institution of marriage Ted Haggard! It doesn't matter how badly you personally violated your own. We need you! Pat Robertson has gone crazy, Falwell is washed up and Ralph Reed is too busy trying to get indian casinos built, or not built, depending on which side pays him the most.

At Night, the Ice Weasels Come

This week the residents of Central Texas, myself included, learned that you can still function as a human being in less than perfect weather. An unusually long and bitter cold spell (by our standards) has smothered the area with a inch or so of ice and snow. Snow is great. I like snow, mainly because I don't have to shovel it in April like people in certian lake-happy upper Midwestern states sometimes do. Unfortunetly pure snow is about as common here as sitting Governors that aren't evil. The ice/snow ratio this week was along the lines of 80/20. People freaked out. I kind of freaked out. Accidents happened. People died. Thousands climbed onto the top of the Frost Bank Tower awaiting the imminent return of Christ (or aliens in the case of South Austinites)...okay this is an exaggeration. What's not an exaggeration is today when I saw a traffic Jam on the freeway caused by people skittishly driving 5 miles per hour across a completely melted bridge (at least the freeway lanes were).

My least favorite aspect, aside from the preventable deaths and injuries, of the semi-annual Central Texas "winter storm" is hearing people from colder, crappier climates drone on and on about how people in Austin "don't know how to drive on the ice." Seriously, shut up. Mabye not ever having to do it has something to do with that. By your logic you should also be expressing shock at the inability of people in Cuba to play ice hockey, or suprise that there aren't more Egyptian quarterbacks in the NFL. Allthough I will agree that people here tend to use less than perfect weather as an excuse to be complete morons behind the wheel.

Locals dealt with the ice as well as they knew (a knowledge base that is a pretty small one). Of course no one who is from south of Dallas has an ice scraper...why would you ever need one? I'm lucky that I can park my car in a garage which saved my windshield from becoming even more cracked. Others who parked in the elements had to deal with a half inch to an inch of ice on their windshields. Since you never need an ice scraper in your car, I saw the following items being used to scrape ice off of windshields: A wooden spoon, a butter knife...and my favorte, a fork. I once used a screwdriver. I recommend that method as long as you don't mind having to get a new windshield.

But the importiant thing is that, among the estimated 1.5 million residents of the Austin Metro Area, 1,499,998 of us survived the ice apocalypse. Not a bad survival rate when you consider that many thought the world was coming to an end.

Rick Perry, Governor by Default

The 2006 election came and went with a bang, not a literal one, that would have been loud and pointless...more of the silent metaphorical type of bang.

It is a sad thing that there is no runoff in the Texas Governors race. The voters of Texas made it clear that the majority of Texans are opposed to Rick Perry...so much so that 60% of Texans were willing to vote for a slogan wielding grandma, a singing Jewish cowboy, or...*gasp*...a democrat instead. However, untimately those voices meant nothing because not enough people could settle on a candidate that they liked best...and this is a shame.

In many elections, a runoff election is held between the top two vote getters when no candidate recieves more than 50% of the vote. Perry got 39%...Democrat Chris Bell got a suprising 30% statewide. It is clear that the voters were asking for the chance to choose between the two without Kinky Friedman or Carol Keeton Strayhorn complicating the menu of candidates. In a democratically correct election, the unpopular Perry would have to face the increasingly notable Bell in a head to head contest...a contest that more than likely would prove tough to win for Perry even a heavily republican leaning state. It's easy to assume that many of those that voted for Kinky or Strayhorn were repulsed by the job that Perry has done during the six long years of his governorship. How he has managed to do so many awful things with so little power is mind boggling. The latest...an attempt to fast track the approval for construction of 17 not-very needed and heavily polluting coal power plants across Central Texas. This in addition to his incredibly irresponsible planning for a Trans Texas Corridor highway system that is really several new corridor highways...many of which are parallel to interstates without much traffic in the first place (a.k.a...ones that aren't labeled with the number 35). These are just two examples of the many reasons why our Republican governor is so unpopular, even among a heavily republican voting base.

The End of All Things Will Be Televised

I'm not a big proponent of the idea that current world events are exactly what was spelled out in Revelation as ushering the end of the World. I think that God would have designed Revelation as a way to keep people on their toes because practially every generation since the apostle John has been able to rationally compare his visions to events in their present day. This means, of course, that I don't think that The Antichrist is alive yet. That said...there are a lot of people out there, including...and especially...within the mainstream American church...that are teaching some very anti-christian (when compared with the words of Christ which to me should be the standard of Christian thought but increasingly are not so in America today) ideas and messages. The most henious (as Bill and Ted would say) among these I believe is the focusing on gaining wealth and the idea that God's plan for the lives of his little christian children is to gain wealth and be prosperous and comfortable. It doesn't take more than a couple minutes of reading the words of Christ to see how increadibly and basslessly wrong this is but this post is not about that in particular.

With this preface in mind. If you were to in some way threaten my life (the cliche 'gun to the head' is acceptbale) and ask me that if the Antichrist were alive today, who would he be...I would have a pretty clear answer. And it would be completely serious.

And the answer is:



Joel Osteen, pastor of Houston's Lakewood Church (one of the world's largest "mega-churches") and author of New York Times bestseller "Your Best Life Now".

Now this theory may sound harsh and judgemental...and it is. But, he really does fit the profile. Charming and persuasive...he appeals to both believers and "unbelievers" while preaching a gospel of his own that many will confuse with the true gospel. He has literally millions of followers around the world who speak of him as if he could do no wrong. Also interesting is that many of his followers speak of him as highly, or even more so, than they would God himself...because really, as Dan pointed out...he never even really gives God any credit.

Of course he's not the anti-christ...but I believe if the eternal cosmic stuff were to go down next year, he would be a good candidate.

With Friends Like You Who Needs Friends

I cannot imagine life without my best friends. That's all I can say. So geographically dispersed yet so close. Some I have lived with, others gone to college with, and others I've met on road trips. Some I haven't gotten to see in over a year.

Not much to say because if I start talking about how much I appreciate my friends I won't be able to stop, nor will I mentioned everyone that I need to.

The Cone Zone

This morning was normal. I got up at 6:00, drove to work, made coffee and such and then clocked out. The afternoon however involved a quick drive to a place that by Central Texas standards is far from normal.

It's a place known as the Lost Pines in Bastrop County about a half-hour east of the city. It's name is derived from the fact that there is no really good reason for a sizeable forest of pine trees to exist in this part of the state...at least a couple hundred miles from the nearest rational pine forest. Apparently the soil there is just unusually conductive to the growth of thousands of beautiful pine trees, and even allows them to survive the periodic drought that affects Central Texas.

The idea to make the afternoon trip came from a recently aquanted friend of mine named Vince. On the drive back into Austin we coined the term "cone zone" as a way to describe this ecological anomaly. He just moved here from the other side of the country and I am excited because I have a chance to really make the transition to Central Texas life a cool one for him and to kind of be this dude's personal tour guide. I like being a tour guide, I'm a natural at it...I just don't think I would enjoy being a guide on the same tour every day. I'm just not the type to stay in one place for long.

But that's exactly the state that I find myself in.

I Am Obsessed with the new MewithoutYou Album

This piece of pure artistic beauty, known more commonly as "Brother, Sister" by MewithoutYou, came out last month and I continue to listen to it obsessively...right now actually.



I've always appreciated MewithoutYou. Creative, eccentric, great in concert, thought provoking, and of course...rad. However, this album has significantly elevated them in my estimation. I am already certian that I like this album even more than their much loved (by me, and anyone else with a soul that has heard it) [A -> B] Life. That album is in my top ten of all time, which means this album is likely to sqeeze in there as well. I've actually never truly defined my top ten favorite albums of all time...but I have probably said that at least 17 or so albums are in my "top ten".

In the freaking name of all that is holy...I really like this album, a lot. So much that I put the new Mars Volta aside in order to become properly obsessed with this album.

I recently went out of state on a road trip with a couple of close friends (who also happen to be similarly obsessed...or even more obsessed..with this band...so the new stuff got a couple of quality spins and even made driving across Oklahoma somewhat bareable.

It was even playing in two other cars over the weekend...unsolicited by eagerly appreciated by myself.

To make things even better, they're coming to Austin on the 26th with Piebald. The downside is that they are not headlining...not only that, but they're opening for a band that I don't particularly like...but oh well, I'm going anyway and I'm as excited as I have been for a show since Lagwagon...and only because I had never seen Lagwagon and I've seen MwY twice...but it's been at least a couple of years or so...or 18 months...or something...too long.

Buy this album, or at least listen to it, or just check out the website or something.

The Theoretical End of Summer and Other Observations

Because I like to observe things.

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The Weather: What a change. After spending the majority of the first half of October in or near the 90's...a cold front moved though (with a lot of rain, which was interesting in itself) and today's high temperature...with sunny skies...was only 70 degrees. Unreal. "Sweater weather" for Austin in October. Supposedly we're finally done with the 90's...which is nice except I've already heard that a couple of times already this month.

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I've become frustated (again) with the overall political debate...the shallowness, or the lack thereof. Shallow advertisments attacking donors, vague accusations of corruption, the conversational marginalization of the Iraq war and the incredible and increasingly uncessary suffering of both troops and innocents overseas and the refusal of the increasingly totalitarianistic White House to face any sort of anything remotely resembling reality on the issue...even with the pure greed ridden and perhaps evil intentions of several cabnet members exposed on a near-daily basis.

When you have the two sides arguing over how many hundreds of thousands of civilians have actually died since the U.S. invasion and subsequent Civil War...er...sectarian violence...then something is really messed up with the fabric of our political society. By the way the U.S. troop death count is now over 2,800...but that's only 6 to 7 times the size of congress...mabye putting it in that context would help them understand things since it's hard to see outside of that big and comfortable building.

But of course I'm not trying to downplay the deaths of our own troops...it's tragic...I know people that are/have been over there...it would be helpful if Bush did as well.

"So you're saying we should put Saddam Hussein back in power?"

Shut up.

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Just because "9/11 was an inside job" makes for a catchy bumper sticker, doesn't mean it isin't a really really really laughable conspiracy theory when you factor in things like reality. That said...I do believe that 9/11 was a good coincidence as a political bullying tool...even a happy one...for certian people in the White House such a Donald "Let's invade Iraq before going after Al Queda in Afganistan" Rumsfeld.

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Save Darfur? Why should we care, they don't have any oil or political clout. Saving thousands of lives there wouldn't make the price of gas go down and make it cheaper to fill up our H2's...so we can all afford to add that third story onto our six bedroom houses.

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If you're in Texas...I would recommend voting for the following people before Rick Perry for Governor:

- Chris Bell
- Kinky Friedman
- Marc Katz (the deli guy)
- Willie Nelson
- Kirk Watson
- Tony Sanchez
- James Werner ("the libertarian guy", as I called him in person, it was embarrasing)
- Selina (would still do more good than Perry despite not living)
- Bill Parcells
- The ghost of Cesar Chavez
- Joel Osteen (only slightly less evil than Perry)
- Leslie
- Manu Ginoblli
- Chuck Norris
- Cedric Bixler-Zavala
- The "Rich Texan" on the Simpsons
- And I guess "Grandma" Strayhorn...but only if the Rich Texan is invalidated on the basis of being a cartoon character

Me Myself and I

I am self-absorbed. So self-absorbed that I have almost become unable to think of others or of ways to help them. I had a well-timed conversation with a friend that brought this to light in my head. Here I am writing about myself to prove it.

When you seek independence you get it...and when you do...be ready to not do anything for anybody else until you begin to pull away from that selfish desire.

We were made to be in community. Always in community. Never alone. Never truly in charge.

People are Awesome

There is something amazing in my life that I am not nearly thankful enough for. That would be the unfathomably cool but geographically group of people in my known as my good friends.

These people bring so much joy into my life...sometimes God even speaks to me though them...sometimes to them through me. I would be skeptical of what I just said if it wasn't for the fact that I have such a bond with certian people that I cannot explain.

Some are here in the Austin/San Marcos area...others in other parts of the state...others still at a small school in the middle of nowhere...and yet others scattered across the North America.

I often daydream that we could all be in one place...just us...just hanging out all the time and laughing and enjoying each others company week after week. I was thinking about this on the way back from a recent trip to visit one of my best friends and several other people who are good friends that I've met though him. I was thinking about it when I realized that that idea is the closest that I have ever been to envisioning heaven.

It's Gonna Rain!

It rained this morning in Austin...first substantial...or even measurable rainfall that we've had since July 6....over 50 days of dry and scorching (97-104 F) weather. The first signficant change in the weather pattern in two months also marks a signicant change in my life. During the entire dry spell I lived with two other guys in a modest and very blue house in my favorite neighborhood in Austin (Bouldin Creek)...suddenly I find myself moving from a neighborhood full of "hippies" to one full of mostly fratastic college students...University of Texas students to be exact. I am not a U.T. student...I'm still having a hard time actually accepting that I'm not a student at all..I'm in between college and career and it is akward. I have a good job with good people that pays my bills and I am recovering from the financial crap-storm that kicked off my summer but I'm still feeling like I've not fully recovered.

About a month ago, not knowing where I would live after this summer now that I had a job...I got a message from my friend Rob Slater, a U.T. student, that his apartment needed a fourth roommate. After first balking at the considerably high West Campus rent I realized that my share would actually not be much higher than what I was already paying due to the number of people in the apartment as well as much lower utility costs than I had in the rickety house on Boudlin Avenue. Also...for the first time since Spring I would be in a place with someone that I knew well and would be around often enough to create a mutual spiritual and emotional support structure that I hadn't really had during the summer. People are importiant to me because I learn from them. I am cynical and stubborn to the point that I almost can only learn and accept new things, as well as criticism, from those who I let really close to me...mainly my twenty or so closest friends who are either concentrated in San Marcos or spread across the country.

The fact that only a few tenths of an inch of rain fell during the past 10 weeks is symbolic to me of my own spiritual life...and emotional life as well. I haven't felt much, or sensed much during that time. Summer was indeed a dry spell for me in a number of ways. At one point, almost overwhelmed by loneliness and at others attacked by angst and frustration with God, my fellow man, and myself. I don't think that moving into a new place, or different weather for that matter in itself represents a positive change but I do think that it is highly conincidental with the representation I feel it has for what is about to happen in my life. During the past few years I could see my life "one year from now"...but that has completely clouded up and I have no idea where I am going nor do I sense that I have all that much control over it...like driving in neutral...not always a bad thing really...allthough to me it can often be frustrating.

But ultimately, even though my immediate career plans didn't work out, I was constantly reminded of grace and love though my friends. They, not the fact that I love Austin or that I am comfortable in the region where I spent almost all of my childhood, are the number one reason why I have stayed close instead of immediately seeking out a career in the media elsewhere. I've said it's because I didn't have the resources to start a big job search (which was primarily true for much of the summer)...but that doesn't tell the entire story...or even an importiant part of it. I don't know if I have ever conveyed that because the emotions behind that thought are explosive and overwhelming. I love the people that God has placed in my life and I hope that I never forget how to show it.

- Jordan

Class War? Mabye. Class Conflict...Certainly

The 90's were a good decade...for most. The Economy was booming, we weren't (seriously) at war with anybody and the news media didn't have to concern itself with massive widespread corruption allegations of congressional and business leaders alike. They were thus able to properly carpet their schedules with O.J. Simpson or the Clinton perjury question and subsequent impeachment trial that followed (which, for those of you just graduating public high school in America...is what "subsequent" means).

Most importiant to my current topic of discussion...was the visable absense of a "class-war". With an expanding middle-class and the greater overall realization of the so-called "American Dream" (construed by the middle class as advancement to the upper class...and by the lower class as advancement to the middle). Their seemed to be less emnity toward the rich and more hope among the poor (allthough things were not great for all of course). This led to many politicians on the left pulling more to the center on economic issues because American's widely percieved that what was good for the rich was also good for them.

This perception is quickly eroding today among both the working and middle classes (who also work...and increasingly harder in order to avoid dropping down the socio-economic ladder). The 35 percent (give or take a few points from week to week) job approval rating of our current fiscally conservative president are just one of many indicators that poor and middle class Americans view the health of the economy (as it relates to them) and their overall chances of financial success and well-being of their familes in an increasingly pessimistic light. Simply starting an increasingly unpopular war is not on its own enough to derail a president's support. The American people seemingly are less trusting in the White House and Congress to have their best interests at heart.

It began in the late 90's when working Americans everywhere found themselves shocked by the collapse of Enron and the allegations that surfaced of a few greedy executives orchestrating massive financial misdeeds and damaging the livelihoods of thousands of workers. Even the half-hearted attempt of Washington and local governments to go after so-called "White collar crime" following similar allegations waged at executives in other companies was enough to gain the average worker's attention. This translated to a growing distrust of the average American worker of the mantra that the rich people who are currently in charge of the American Dream Inc. have their best interests at heart. This is a striking and potentially positive trend as it appears that those at the top of the corporate world did not (and still do not today) deserve the trust and credit they were given by the average American.

Today more Americans, correct in their cynicism, are wondering if the War on Terror was used as a gateway to fight at war that may have been more about the financial security of companies such as Halliburton than the security of the American people themselves. More are looking beyond the price on the Exxon sign (which has nearly tripled in just three years) to think that perhaps more than just an increase in global demand and tighter supplies are to blame for the massive price increase that continues to make life more difficult for working people depending on their automobiles in our automobile-focused infrastructure. Financial corruption in corporate America, and the sympathetic people in congress who seemingly face more corruption-related indictments each week, are gaining the attention of the average voter and making them think. Even members of my traditionally very-conservative family are second-guessing what they have always believed about the status quo and the benevolence of those currently in power (mainly on the Republican side).

This trend is a troublesome one for the current party in power and for the status quo that allows the rich to get richer by nearly any means (including outright corruption and loss of American jobs and innocent lives) on the backs of everyone else. The workers of America are still a sleeping tiger (loose pun loosely intended) but they are begining to flinch just a bit. The Democrats unfortunely still don't have any really good answers and have spent so much time going to the far-left on social issues when they really should have focused on moving back to the left financially. As it is...with little to go on in the Democratic side and an unquestioned lack of sympathy on the Republican side...America's working and middle classes are still without a vehicle with which they can bring about substantial change. That is why I am unsure that many Americans will vote to make a change in Washington in 2006...many may just stay home out of frustration except in places such as Texas where two independents are legitimate gubenatorial candidates.

However...history has shown that genuine oppression in the United States is only tolerated for so long. Working Americans will soon rise up and shout with their voices and their votes to end this corrupt system and restore our democracy to the fair and free system many of us once thought we had. It will probably be played off at first as merely discontent people thinking only of themselves...but as it persists...the socio-ecnomic nature of the political uprising will be very clear. It will only take a few hundred thousand more layoffs...a few dozen more corruption allegations against members of congress...a few hundred more indictments of executives for financial evils. At least this is my hope. My optimism has been challenged in recent months...but history has shown that optimism does not always lead to disapointment. I look forward to the day when the majority of Americans currently taken-advantage of finally stop doing what they're told and stand up for themselves.

The Prodigal Returns to South Austin

Hello this is me updating for the first time since...apparently the immigration protests. For those of you who got burned out on that story. The protested engendered an initially positive response from congressional authorities and the public alike. Pressure was put on Washington to create a comprehensive reform bill. Even the President gave a nationally televised prime time address in support of such a bill. Then...a little partisanship got in the way...the pro-immigrant groups again protested en-mass...a national "day without an immigrant" boycott was held. This time though people reacted less positivley...the protests seemed overbearing. Congress turned a deaf ear. A music group make a massive P.R. blunder by releasing a version of the U.S. National Anthem en Espanol and any attempts at reforming a broken border system fell apart in the House. Depressing? A little bit...to me at least. Damn politics. But that is not what I am writing about actually...

It's been two months since I graduated from Texas State University with a Mass Communications degree. I'm taking some time off from looking for a career job for now to focus on getting my stuff together. Mainly not be broke, mabye get a laptop and take advantage of all of this free time to further build the relashonships that I have been blessed with in the Austin-San Marcos area.

I have moved in to a house in near South Austin...just a mile from Downtown not far from South First Street and Barton Springs. I really really like this neighborhood and would like to stay here longer if I can. I will probably write about it more in the future...for now I'll just say that it's practically my dream neighborhood. Lots of local establishments...lively but not obnoxious...very diverse in many different respects and several corner coffee shops and weird stores and such. The location is insurmountably great and the other two guys living in the house are quite agreable so far and I doubt that I will have any issues with the house (besides the fact that the a/c just quit but even so it's still worth it, and it'll probably be fixed soon).

So for now I'm borrowing a roommate's computer and hopefully I will have one of my own soon and can dedicate some of this free time to writing more.