Rock And Roll McDonald's at Dallas Winter Conference

I spent the past week in Dallas at the Campus Crusade Dallas Winter Conference. I was blessed to go because money for a while was a problem but things pulled together in the end so I made the trip and spent six great days learning about God and myself along with 65 other Texas State students and hundreds of other students from other schools.

This is the point where I would normally spend a few paragraphs describing the conference, but my friend Sean has already done a good job of that in his blog ( http://seanraybuck.blogspot.com/ ) so thankfully I can just jump right into my thoughts and what I'm learning.

I have heard the term "Spiritual high" thrown around to describe the week. For most people, I'm sure that was the case. It was a good time and just a very positive experence. For myself though, it was also a very turbulent time spiritually and emotionally. I was a mess inside, dealing with a lot of the messes that I have built up over a lifetime of sinfulness and selfishness. My years before I became a christian were definitely not a joy ride and I still struggle with many of the after effects of the person that I once was (but no longer am, thanks to God).

I went to the Conference hoping that I would find answers to the questions that plague me. Instead, I was met with more questions...more things that I haven't even considered. In fact, the theme of the conference, "consider this", really pins down the point that I have reached. I have so many things to consider that it is overwhelming. With all of this to deal with, I didn't find the term "spiritual high" to be an accurate description of my time there. It was one of the best weeks of my life in a lot of ways, but it was also one of my worst in others. I am encouraged that I saw signs of growth and potential growth, but it was still painful at times. Dealing with years of problems in one week was (and still is) tough. I reached a state of spiritual shock near the end of the conference that I'm still reacting to. The problems that plague my thought pattern, critical and negitive thoughts, ignorance of God, selfishness, self-pity and others hit me hard thoughout the conference. I ended up having to have difficult conversations with God, difficult conversations with myself, and difficult conversations with friends about a host of issues that I did not enjoy dealing with.

I will deal with those issues here, at least the importiant ones, because I need to organize and articulate my thoughts on them, otherwise the importiant things that I need to learn will be lost amid a plethora of pointless thoughts.

Hopefully I did mention already that it was a good time overall and one of the most memorable weeks of my life. I got to know so many of my friends in a better way, I was encouraged in a lot of ways, I broke out of my shell in a lot of ways. And, ultimately, God broke open the hard shell around my hard heart that I've worked so hard to self-destructivley build to keep Him, and the people in my life, out. Both Matt Chandler and Rick James were excellent speakers, and the "men's time" was not only very positive, but left all of the guys with enough inside jokes to last for at least a semester.

Some thanks are in order: Thanks to Morgan for driving me up there and back and being a cool guy, thanks to Derek for being really encouraging when I needed it, thanks to Sam, Coal and Sam for being tight roommates and easy to get along with and get to know, thanks to Paul Wheatley for learning the dance from Napolean Dynamite, that was a spiritual experence in itself, thanks to everyone on Staff for helping me make it to the conference, Luna for inviting me to the show and being really accepting, thanks to all of the girls (the 331 crew and others) for being really cool and fun to hang out with, everyone in 839 (Sean, Derek, Colin, Ethan) for hanging out, Sean for being a good friend and talking though some difficult stuff with me and not just telling me what I wanted to hear...and everyone else who made it if you're not mentioned here it is merely because my fingers are really tired you were all just an amazing group to be a part of.

- Jordan